Today I.....

[dorrie]

Slept in ! I could not sllep last night and got up with hubby at 3am...he was off on business...then I couldn't sleep again so I tooted around NT in the night and went to bed about 5:30am! I have just been up for a bit...it is after 2:00 pm....Now I need to make myself tired so that I can sleep tonight. Big problem with sleepng like that....I did not take my pills untill now. My sugar is up and that is likely why I slept so long. My mom has called...I will have to call her back in a bit before she sends out the cavalry!! All in al I am OK. Well rested for sure!!!:)

[Sea Pines 50]

has anybody heard from mark? i tried to call him yesterday, just to give him a heads up that the 1,000th post was rapidly approaching on this thread...

since he started "Today I..." (as i think it was linda who pointed out earlier), that post should have rightfully been his!!!! (it's OK, jo - you had no way of knowing with everything you've been going through [and by the way, so good to see you back - you have been sorely missed!:wink:])

anyway i am sending out a search party by way of this post. the last i remember, our dear mark was in immediate recovery from surgery to have the pain pump implanted and the pain meds themselves were not even on board yet.

my understanding is that he was having to step down from the oral meds as a part of that process. speaking from personal experience (linda can probably second this:D) - so NOT a fun thing to do. it can be a painful transition. a very worthwhile one, but not without its own set of problems...

on top of the sx we already have on the natch, well ... you guys get the picture, i'm sure.

mark, we are thinkin' about you buddy. hang in there and here's to the next 1,000 posts on this most excellent of threads that you started shortly after your arrival here, as i recall.

yes, i finally broke down and started posting on it. happy?:D

alison
"Be Brave"

[LinJane]

MarkHope you are doing ok, and as noted, it really sucked being taken off of meds. They had me on so many different drugs I don't even remember. I had to have a daily/ hourly/ pill organizer to make sure I did not take too many or, forget to take something. I was in NY for two weeks. They slowly took everything away and were giving me methadone. It was a very lonely time. People were nice but being away from family for so long killed me. Especially because it was during 9/11. Hard to watch the planes hit while they take you off meds! What I really wanted was a drink!

Hope you are hanging in there. Luckily mines was only like a detox. I didn't need a rehab as it was more of a physical dependancy and not a craving type of additiction. Still not easy either way. Your body has to realize that you don't need the meds. Your brain continues to tell you you need them even when you don't. At least that is the way it was explained to me. I DO NOT have medical knowledge. Only my experience.

Well, now that I've made one dress for my daughter I think I will try another! Nothing crazy now! I still needed help from daughter #1! We'll see if I catch on.


Linda

[gibbrn]

:eek:Saturday was a day from hell....it was a day I spent in bed crying most of the day until 6pm....crazy??????????????? or about to crack!!!!

I am anxious about workers comp as they have found me a job within totally lame restrictions despite my doc saying I can't work....ok get it already....I am being forced back to a full time nursing job. I can't work for pete's sake I can't even cook a meal without wanting to lie down for a while. I can't always wash or clean in the same day I mean myself....lol......

I am tired of having to jump through hoops no pun intended to get comp to know I am DISABLED from work. How many notes from my doc does it take and how many tears from me!!!!

ok no more pitty party...my man got me out of bed not telling you how:p and we ended up going to see harry potter in IMAX was amazing but now cant wait for the next one.

next day feel a bit better but not me....when will I come back....I think I have been lost and now gone for good...the old me the new..not so improved me is in grief of job loss and the one they offered is the one I was going to university for my dream job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
idiots....:eek:

I have to rewrite my life and myself....I guess Fida kahlo (artist) could do it with her pain! She was a mexican artist with chronic back and leg pain who did really neat surreal paintings of herself in pain
http://the-athenaeum.org/art/detail.php?ID=23082
VERY GRAPHIC BE CAREFUL GUYS!!!! NO KIDS


http://www.mystudios.com/women/klmno/kahlo_self.html

http://www.mystudios.com/women/klmno/kahlo-tree-of-hope.html

http://abcgallery.com/K/kahlo/kahlo57.html
http://abcgallery.com/K/kahlo/kahlo61.html
http://www.oceansbridge.com/oil-paintings/product.php?xProd=58802&xSec=616 (GRAPHIC CONTENT)

found this too...not frida

http://www.painexhibit.com/Themes/butyoulooksonormal.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/2268417.stm
http://www.pain-topics.org/gallery.php

ok I may have to try this art thing AGIAN i suck but hey it is all in the eye of the beholder and I darn well behold

love and blessing to ya'll
hugs,
Victoira

[DDayMBB]

Marksince you started this thread, I think you should be the 1000 poster. Where are you? You doing ok? Hope you are feeling better.

Linda

Lin Jane... poster #1 or porater #2 it does not matter what is important is we each other to fac the ups and down with and looking down at #1000.... I feel Jo's post was truly something far more touching and shows just how little time we have on our side!

Dorrie... I have a question for you... sleep, what is that??? Ahhh I remember now it is those moments we get between doctors, lawyers, flares man I almost gogot about those pesky littlle insurance adjunctuators whose goal it is to help you in processing the claim you inquired upon some months ago... I have to say congatulations on actually gaining something that probably makes so many here envious time and again!

Horizontal One... keeping up, is just plain insanity though I do think I pharsed it to Victoria*Gibbirn** That the only way to sanity is through sanity so where does the line start or even better yet end.. I love to be able to spend the time just reading over what I have missed!

Barbara.... maybe I have a slight new definiton to TOS fo the and hope the translation comes though as I hope and not to let anybodt out, but I am Telling Babara to add some anatomy to the situation as to Calling it Thoracic reactally attached overall or in Deutsch Brustschmerzausdehnen ins rektale Gebiet, damit zu machen ein erzählt, dass sie das versuchen Barb plaese let me know how my translation has come about

Dabbo...the only part of the book that I found of use was the breathing excercise, however now I think it may be a good time to go through and explore for something I minght have missed!

Alison... I was expecting to be able to get right up an mve right into it Well I pais for it ans ended up with continual spinal headaches... when they say you have to lie flat**LIEFLAT** Thank God these are a thing are passed ! My pump has been truned up twice! I have surely over done it and I know I will be huting GOD bLESS

[LinJane]

MarkGlad t o hear from you. I agree witht he lie flat order. I had a mylogram in 1999. They left a hole in my spinal column. I know what those headaches are like. Not fun at all. They had to do two emergency blood patches to close the hole. Continue to get better. Linda

[DDayMBB]

MarkGlad t o hear from you. I agree witht he lie flat order. I had a mylogram in 1999. They left a hole in my spinal column. I know what those headaches are like. Not fun at all. They had to do two emergency blood patches to close the hole. Continue to get better. Linda

Hell Linda, these headaches have nothing on TOS ... to further this one a bit more I think the Nurses, doctors and support staff were more than slightly convinced that I was one peg short in filling my lite-brite when I reported the pain that I had was not that of the surgery, but the TOS and RSD ... I think this just may have confused them on just how to treat the actual pain!?! so I think we need to come up with a word that represents TOS and RSD without taking away from our persoanl plight and should not be limited to just a signle individuals problems but us as a whole!

And one moral for the day , if you are on an automated rose service make sure it is the party with whom you expect the arragangement to be to be received by as well as correct billing address:yikes: .... maybe also some confidentiality may just be considered !!! Now you know the sad fact is...that we all have battles , each one here are trying to get SSD, Medical assitsance, dealing with workmans comp or some trying to settle a suit with some idiotic doctor who bothched your procedure, his brother is the head of the hospitals board and their law firm scares the OJ dream team so you just lie there and suffer as they decide just who to blame it on which will most likely end up being the scrub nurse for choosing the wrong sized glove .. now watch these jokers with the florist suit win $500,000 than another $3.5 for film rights and lets think ahead of who is going to be Grand Marshall of the Rose Bowl Parade!!! I am sorry, I have been having a real hard time with **GOOBERS** attitude

[DDayMBB]

If you read post 1007, pleas re-read it as there was a chnag or 10 added :D :D :D

[gibbrn]

Hi Mark,
ok confused thought you had goober under lock and key with your pump....I have been away for a bit...what's up my friend???? Is he rearing his ugly head agian?????
I hope not...my prayers r with you :)

love and hugs,
Victoria:hug:

[shelliemac]

...am on the count down. In less than 14 hours I will be at the hospital preparing for surgery. I am still at work today with no lunch break, trying to tie up loose ends...so afraid i'll forget to do something...but don't really care either! :cool:

I'm so excited!! :Dancing-Chilli: :trampoline: This has been a long time coming. Please pray for me and my surgeon...

My husband is not very computer literate, :Scratch-Head: but I will try to get him to post later this week. I should be home from the hospital by Friday.

Thanks again to everyone for support and advice. You all have truly been a blessing these last couple of weeks.

Lots of love and hugs, :heartthrob: :circlelove: :grouphug: :heartthrob:

[gibbrn]

Hi Shellie,

Best of luck my friend.
I hope for all the best and I KNOW that you will come through this with flying colours...imagine a rainbow!!

Prayers and blessings to you and yours. Calm your excitement and relax with hubby tonight and appreciate all you have and expect nothing so that you can appreciate everything.........VERY difficult for me to do and it will not be easy for anybody I suspect.

Love, hugs, prayers, blessings and freindship......lets hope hubby can keep you in the loop post-op it will be difficult to type on your own and your energy will slowly come back. I did feel run over by a truck but this too shall pass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!

Love and hugs,
Victoria:grouphug:

[Jo*mar]

shelliemac-
Best of luck to you and your surgeon- hope to read of a good outcome soon.
be very careful with any activities during the post op recovery time.
:grouphug:

[Sea Pines 50]

today i'm having to take my baby 32-year-old daughter, chelsea, to an orthopedist to get a cast put on her ankle...

she suddenly tripped at the head of the landing and in the dark, accidentally fell down a rather steep, slippery set of stairs outside a hollywood party she was at with some friends of hers on friday night, you guys... went flying, literally (YIKES is right)!!!

"yep, be right back! just steppin' outside for a cig; don't anybody touch my drink, now!!!" famous last words of the lovely miss chelsea...

and down she went. head over high-heels. oy! my poor baby is a poor little thang. and, you can imagine how very h e l p f u l they were in the ER over at hollywood presbyterian hospital at that late hour. yeah, always try to get the night shift if you have to go the ER.... NOT!!!:rolleyes: :D

and if anyone thinks i'm going to talk to her about maybe it's time to think about going easy on the drinkin' (i drank like a fish at that age, you guys;)) while she's all grouchy and hopped up on vicodin, well... you are just plain outta your mindz!!!

i do notice, she's not smokin' right now, though...

hmmm could it be, we've "stumbled" onto a cure for nicotine addiction!?!

why, i'll alert the media!:cool:

alison
"Be Brave"

shellie, you are going to do just great tomorrow. we will all be there with you in spirit... you and your whole surgical team.:circlelove: :Good-Luck: :Demonstration: now go home! git! skedaddle! forget that "i am indispensable to my company" crap... nope, those pour souls are just going to have to limp along without ya for the next few months. now, scoot! i mean it! (by 'de way, if there was any lingering doubt about your TOS dx, this cinches it... in the office right up to the 11th hour? you're nutz, girl, definitely one of us!:p)

[LinJane]

ShellieBest of luck and you'll be in my thoughts. It can only get better.

AlisonI have fallen in a bush or two in my day but I have to say it ended when I was 21. Started going out before it was legal and was done with going out when I could. I do love my wine, but keep it at home! This way You're right by your bed if you need it! Marriage and kids do change the partying scene.

Best wishes for a good night to all. Linda

[fern]

Shellie,

I sure hope your surgery has gone well and that you are comfortable while you are recovering. Please let us know how you are faring. There's nothing like seeing light at the end of the tunnel.

[dorrie]

Hi Shellie Hope all goes well for you tomorrow!:hug: Dorrie

[redjpwranglergirl]

Hell Linda, these headaches have nothing on TOS ... to further this one a bit more I think the Nurses, doctors and support staff were more than slightly convinced that I was one peg short in filling my lite-brite when I reported the pain that I had was not that of the surgery, but the TOS and RSD ... I think this just may have confused them on just how to treat the actual pain!?! so I think we need to come up with a word that represents TOS and RSD without taking away from our persoanl plight and should not be limited to just a signle individuals problems but us as a whole!

And one moral for the day , if you are on an automated rose service make sure it is the party with whom you expect the arragangement to be to be received by as well as correct billing address:yikes: .... maybe also some confidentiality may just be considered !!! Now you know the sad fact is...that we all have battles , each one here are trying to get SSD, Medical assitsance, dealing with workmans comp or some trying to settle a suit with some idiotic doctor who bothched your procedure, his brother is the head of the hospitals board and their law firm scares the OJ dream team so you just lie there and suffer as they decide just who to blame it on which will most likely end up being the scrub nurse for choosing the wrong sized glove .. now watch these jokers with the florist suit win $500,000 than another $3.5 for film rights and lets think ahead of who is going to be Grand Marshall of the Rose Bowl Parade!!! I am sorry, I have been having a real hard time with **GOOBERS** attitude


LOL, Mark:D Sounds like Goober has some serious attitude! But you (or "he"?) hit the nail on the head about the florist suit.....

[johannakat]

Shellie- I hope the best for you today :)

Mark- I am sorry you are having so many issues still...keeping you in my thoughts.

busy myself, hence the absence.

thinking of you all
Johanna

[gibbrn]

Hi Alison,
cant believe that you have to deal with all of this!!

hope she stops the smoking though!!

Mark....is Goober back....what happened with your pump!!!!

love to all my family!!(that includes you all!!)

Victoria:hug:

[Sea Pines 50]

hi, kidz (special shout-out to shellie's husband if you're reading this - i'm gonna try to call you tomorrow to see how our girl is doing!:)) -

turns out chelsea has to have surgery on that ankle. overachiever that she is, she broke the thing so dang good that if she were to take option B (and live in a cast from her tippy, tippy toes all the way up to her groin for ~ 8 mos.), there's a chance the bonez wouldn't even set properly! PLUS which, she may have torn a ligament, too:mad: ... which we won't really know until the surgeon opens her up.

curtain call is tomorrow a.m. at 7:00, check-in time being 5:30 i'm a toddlin' off to bed here in a minute. the doc is going to put screws in to stabilize the broken ankle bones as i understand it, basically, and then if he sees the ligament to be badly torn as well, he will go ahead and also put a metal plate in while he's in there. airport security should be "interesting" from here on out...:eek:

it's an outpatient procedure, so must be laparoscopic, at least in part. i'm trying to be soooo good... letting her run the show (well, OK - him!:D - but you know what i mean, i think) and make her own decisions, etc. - which is just so hard for me, you guys! chels doesn't want to get a second opinion, just wants to "get her done!" and she likes this doc, so that's cool...:cool:

encino hospital is a good hospital. this surgeon was referred by one of the orthopedic guys i had consulted with way back in the early '90's for my "cervical spine problem" (yeah, right:rolleyes:). well, OK... he missed the boat on my TOS dx but i do respect and like this cat.

and as it turns out, i have actually seen chelsea's surgeon myself, too, for a shoulder injury i suffered after a bad car accident back in 2001 in which, among other things, i tore a rotator cuff. he's a shoulder specialist. OK, so this guy missed my TOS, too! i've probably been to just about every top doc in los angeles in the 25+ years it took me to get the goddamned TOS dx, OK? christ. and PS, i don't have the disputed form, either. go figure!

but i digress. chelsea is well over 18, and if she's happy, then i'm happy. she's on her feet constantly with both of the jobs she has and needs to get back to where she can function in those capacities ASAP in order to be a happy camper. (and don't tell her this, but taking care of her like this is just plain wearing me OUT!!!:thud:)

she will still have to be in a cast after this surgery tomorrow, but it will be a short cast, not nearly as cumbersome and i don't think it will be for anywhere near as long. she'll be able to drive, etc. i've never broken any bonez before so don't really have a clear idea of what we're looking at here, but have high hopes that she will make a brilliant recovery, overall.

chelsea's already aching to get back to her kidz at the elementary school where she works with kindergartners. new crop coming in for miss chelsea - get out your crayolas, kiddos...

we've got a wonderful new writing surface for you to try out this year!!!!:wink:

happy wednesday to everyone. i hope shellie is getting the GOOD drugs at the horse piddle and that her TOS surgery went off without a hitch.

now, where is that OC woman with the virtual roses when we need her?

alison
"Be Brave"

[johannakat]

i'll be thinkin' 'bout you and cheals tomorrow, allie cat.

good luck.

Johanna

[LinJane]

Alisonhope surgery goes well. I haven't broken a bone in years but have had so many surgeries. In both my big toes I've had to have the joint that connects your toe to your foot removed, cartiledge taken out and then put back on. Not a pretty site after surgery. Good luck!

Today, I am having a horrible day. Out of pain med's and doctor isn't in. It's going to be a long day until tomorrow. Not sure what to do. Normally take care of this ahead, but due to unforseen circumstances didn't. Now I'll have to pay. Muscle relaxers don't work except make me tired. I guess I'll just be tired today.

Linda

[DDayMBB]

I do beleive it is time to add some cheese with my WHINE my God there are so many popele out there without health care of any form! I am fortunate to have a policy given to me by my wife or should I say her employeer... it is limited and surgery is not an option with the option of meds, but they are covering my pump and this is going to rid my body of oral med problems. Once it is brought one line fully the narcotics once absorbed by my liver is now going to the nerves that need them most. I know not where to post here or the RSD thread, but one led to the other and I live with both so here is where I lie:Sinking: hopefully surgery will follow in my shoulders for the TOS afther Saggital Blocks going in and the pump to cover pain in the nerves coming out... So a visit to Dr Sanders is just on hold and not removed from my wish list!!!

Getting to the Whine list is the miners and their families as well as the rescuers whose lives were lost may God comfort their soul's and be with the familes whose help is needed ! And I whine...

The Soldiers whose ranks go down and I do not mean rating, but the count of dead and wounded so we may live in paece! And I whine...

How soon we forget about souls lost in the bombings and how their families carry on! And I Whine...

So many homelss as I stay dry , so many without food and I worry about the extra pound for me the pain is just a small peice of the pain in consideration to what others live with... I forget many nights when I bow down to pray when it comes time to add my thanks, that my thanks come in the way of what suits me and not what is what I am thankful for and this is the gift of family, life and most of all another day in which the Lord has given me another chance to try and be a better me tomorrow!!!

GOD BLESS ALL

[Jo*mar]

Alison,
thinking of you and Chelsea and hoping all goes great for you both.:grouphug:
In CA we met a guy who had shattered about 6" of his leg and ankle in a fall:eek: work comp case him- double :eek: :eek:
showed us the xrays of the repair - plates, screws pins etc
My son shattered his wrist in 2001 did a pretty good job of it too = pins and such to fix it also.

Mark you're right - sometimes we need a reminder to remember all the others in this big ole world that are living in horrible conditions and to pray for them also.

[gibbrn]

I have been offered a job by comp and of course not what I can do despite my doc saying I can't do ANY work. Idiots don't listen or do an IME or any other testing they take a desk jockey opinion not one who has actually seen me or laid hands on me!!!!!!!!!!!(or did my surgery!!!!!!!!!!!!) so feeling a little ticked off and left out to have no pay YET again like the last three years it took to appeal...not that the money is an issue Marc can support us but I earned my living like all others here and deserve to be paid for the injury my damn job caused me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok not bitter at all. I want to ...ok enough of that now have to go off benefits and back to LTD and fight to get what is rightfully due to me but has been denied since time began.....p/o'd!!! ok yeah quite a lot but have to deal with this...can't harbour this in my soul too much to deal with emotionally.

I hope that all who read this understand I have a union to help me Thank God for that and I am not alone as I have amazing support with the union reps. I don't think I guess I have the right to complain, but it really does effect you even if you do have the help. I feel helpless as I can't do anything to make things change. I can't do anything to make it better or to change my circumstance.

I hope that this isn't sounding pathetic or lame but needed to get it out and if there is anywhere to do it I suppose it is with those who understand. Those who are my real family ....seen as I have two brothers and their families to help...but don't get it all the time .....but no parents so I am now adopting you all as my surrogate parents. I need you all so much and can't say thank you enough. Ok my tears are flowing now in appreciation and in care for all of you and my love for you all for all that has been done for me said at the right moment said with care prayer and love......
ok enough...
so all my love and huge hugs to you all.
from my heart,
Victoria

[LinJane]

AlisonI hope all is going well with Chelsea after her surgery. Not always fun. Acutally, never fun.

MarkI agree with the whining issue. I try not to because it doesn't mean anything. My faterh for years would tell me he didn't understand me. He knew I was in pain from all I went through but I didn't outwardly compain. Why? Didn't change anything. I'm still in pain. But, when I watch the news I cry. How can I complain when people are murdering their children. Shooting innocent college children execution style for what? Pedophiles targeting our children. Home invasions. Too much. I would just like to think we can support each other. The mining incident is too depressing. The Minneapolis bridge collapse also. Each day we are all faced with a different dilema or crisis. Dealing with it is a very individual reality. Once, Mark, you said how important humor was. I think if I did not laugh every day, even at my self, I don't think I could survive. I try to find humor in as much as possible. The horrible ambulance ride from NY to NJ where when we arrived at my house I actually got up off the stretcher and walked in the house because I could not take one more minute on that darned thing! Then as the ambulance left the driveway, it smacked right into my dad's car! Oh well. Don't ever ride an ambulance on the NJ Turnpike. Unless you get some good meds first!

VictoriaAnd yes, you do have the right to complain, and *****. I am so sorry you don't have your parents physically there to support you. Keep them in your heart. I am very lucky to have parents and a mother-in-law to help me and my family. I also have two sisters who are always there.

I wish we all did not live so far apart. Wouldn't it be great, as we write each other now, to say, have a barbeque and really get to know each other and their families? You learn so much from this site but realize we all live so far apart. I know some of you on the west coast get together, at least that is what I have gatherd from posts.

It is comforting for me to read and post each day. Sometimes I feel I am pathetic. I do have local friends but it isn't the same.

Sorry to ramble. Don't know if any of you are familiar with High School Musical? Tonight is the sequel. My daughter has two friends over to watch. Of cours we have had a storm. Direct tv went out downstairs. They raced upstairs to my room. That went out, back down. Finally back to my room. I have kids and hubby trying to watch tv all over. oh well. Sorry!! Linda

[johannakat]

Linda- MY 14Yo is also glued to TV watching HSmusical 2.... :)

the little guys are super cute today, too....the two yo asthma baby is totally wheezing with a cold, but they are dancing and playing dress up. I wonder....should i discourage my sweet boy who is turning 4 from dressing up as a princess? He's such a cute one ;)

I am sure he'll hate to movies i took today when he gets older. :p

Most Doctors suck BTW. My PCP said something to me today at my pre-op visit that made me want to kick him :icon_evil: while he listened to my heart. (wouldn't have hit a good spot, either) I am sooooo forutnate to have Dr Jordan who understands, listens and appreciates my troubles.

I wish for all of you to have the same good fortune as myself, one way or another. As Mark said- roof over head, good health insurance, good organic food for my kids to eat, sweet caring husband (most of the time!!), eternal sunshine here in CA, safe cars to drive, generally healthy family (myself excepted??? ;)), a 14yo who was sweet enough to make me a choccy cake today, and so many other coutless blessings. :heartthrob: :heartthrob: :heartthrob:

((((((hugs)))))) and happiness to all of you- and be happy for all the little things that you have. :hug: :hug:

sorry for the ramble....

Johanna

[LinJane]

JohannaLet him dress up! He won't be able to or want to when he's older. Just part of being a kid. My 15 year old thought he could grow up to be a Power Ranger when he was 4! We still tease him. I wish I had some cake! My 17 year old daughter likes to bake. Maybe I'll ask her!

Linda

[Sea Pines 50]

omigod i cannot believe the email i got from this kid last night, you guys. she lambasted me! got wind of the fact that i, in jest mind you (you know me, as does SHE now, c'mon!) said to a friend something to the effect of thank god chelsea had elected to opt for the surgery instead of the long cast deal because i was utterly exhausted from taking care of this 32-year-old infant since late last week...

so now apparently i have NOT taken her injury or her pain seriously, from the MOMENT she called me from the ER on fri. night. and she is pissed! she feels i have no compassion for her, that since i am so "used to" being in pain that i just act like it's no big deal and have been entirely dispassionate throughout this whole ordeal. and here she is, so helpless, in so much pain, and blah, blah, blah i have done her wrong, etc., etc.

well, ya could've fooled me. i have run myself ragged all week! spent over $1,000 so far on hospital bills and to cover her overhead while she gets her short-term disability stuff underway and none of that is a loan, mind you. drove all the way up to sunland twice to bring her stuff at her dad's over the weekend and to haul her **** back down to my house sun. night, found and took her to the surgeon's office mon. for a consult, the internist's tues. for medical clearance, and a dozen other things! are these the actions of someone who doesn't think this is a big deal, i ask you?

man, she really hurt my feelbads. i don't know what to say to her (and she is not speaking to me). truly i feel her thinking is distorted here - perhaps it's the vicodin talking, i have no idea. not something she's used to taking, i can tell you that much.

i haven't even repeated to her some of the things her surgeon has said to me about her case which would REALLY set her off, or the comment her friend who was with her at the party made about her drinking and maybe it would be a good time to have a "conversation" with her about slowing down.

nope. she'd definitely shoot THIS messenger. i hate walking on eggshells.

why does the mom always get blamed for everything?

guess she's gonna have to figure something out, because we are at a mexican stand-off and her student loan is due next week:D. but here i sit, still trying to figure out why on earth she thinks i, of all people, am taking this lightly. i guess it hurts so much because i know EXACTLY how that feels, and it ain't good. i've wracked what passes for my brain and i just can't figure it out.

other than that unfortunate comment, which was admittedly a pretty tasteless joke. harmless, i thought at the time and i really didn't mean anything by it. the only other thing i can think of is when she called from the ER to tell me the ankle was broken and was crying hysterically, in trying to calm her down i told her that a bad sprain or torn ligaments can be WORSE than a break. which is TRUE. a medical fact, jack.

as it turns out, chelsea does not have any torn ligaments. thank god for that.:) sorry this post is so long, i don't have anyone to talk to about this and i feel just awful. i just can't figure out what happened between us. and i'm in a horrible flare on top of it. should i say, made worse, because of it.

better go get my woobies out the freezer... thanks for reading this far, you're the best.

they're cute when they're little.

alison
"Be Brave"

[Jo*mar]

:grouphug: for sure they are soo much easier when they are little:grouphug:
I'm sure she will see the light soon and she probably feels bad too, but youth and "something" stands in the way of her apologizing right now.
{couldn't think of the word i wanted to use in place of "something"}

[dorrie]

Helped deliver my friends baby....I cut the umbillical cord! AMAZING!!:)

[LinJane]

AlisonI have given my mom a run for her money but unfortunately, that's what moms are for. from what you write, it is because she loves you so much and you have done a good job!

DorrieHow cool! Helping to deliver a baby! I have 4 kids and each delivery was a unique and individual experience. There is nothing like a new life being brought into this world! Congratulations,

Linda

[redjpwranglergirl]

Hope everybody has had a nice weekend. While "Erin" dropped alot of rain on us, we lucked out with "Dean" (knock wood). Horizontal One, it was good to see your post although I'm so sorry to hear you're not feeling well- being nauseous is one of the worst feelings in the world. When I read what you're going through it makes me so thankful that my problems are so minor. I hope you feel up to posting more often. Also wondering how Mark is doing and if he's gotten a stick to Goober yet and beaten him back.:D That's what you have to do with "things" with a bad attitude- let them know who is in charge.

[DDayMBB]

Naw Goober is still around... but what ya going to do? Red you said about problems being minor, well I feel guilty to think I even have problems with the flooding the miners and their families and so many others out there worse off than I? Amazing what a quick bit of BITC:D ing will do to aid in turning around the problems taking place in ones personal life;) and maybe a super sweet homeade glass of iced tea !

Hope there is time for a quick :grouphug: and light pat on the back ahhh now can get back to whatever shall come about:cool: As always my best to all!!!
Mark~n~GOOBER

[dorrie]

Today I am going camping with hubby and the boys! We will be back on Friday. Hope you all have a super week!:)

[redjpwranglergirl]

Naw Goober is still around... but what ya going to do? Red you said about problems being minor, well I feel guilty to think I even have problems with the flooding the miners and their families and so many others out there worse off than I? Amazing what a quick bit of BITC:D ing will do to aid in turning around the problems taking place in ones personal life;) and maybe a super sweet homeade glass of iced tea !

Hope there is time for a quick :grouphug: and light pat on the back ahhh now can get back to whatever shall come about:cool: As always my best to all!!!
Mark~n~GOOBER

So true, Mark- that is such a sad situation. I can't imagine what those families are going through there. And I think they said earlier on the news that they had decided not to try to drill a bigger hole to find those guys. Such a tragedy for them and their families.

[gibbrn]

Ok gals and guys, gals and guys,

Question....three day migraine eye pressure behind eye and a heavy jaw and a tingling head and neck.....after a National Upper cervical chiropractic association.

How many of you have seen this??? Have any of you tried this???

thanks folks,
love and hugs,
Victoria

[shelliemac]

i'm home at last!! came home friday afternoon. struggled the first two nights with pain, nausea, migraines. somehow last nite i slept like a baby. broke my laptop just before going for surg; desktop is too old for the dragon so having to type with left hand only...interesting since i am r-handed...

migraines better today but still nauseous... pain is manageable--only taking 1/2 to 1 lortab every 4 hours, 2 at night. showered today for 1st time--it was heaven! hate sponge baths. also got to change bandage...everything healing well. no numbness in hand or spasms in arm...it's the most amazing thing!

mom didn't get to come today but hubby is taking me to charlotte nc to see her wed-fri. it will be great to see her and dad.

thanks for all the prayers and support...i couldn't have made it this far without you.

q: anyone else exp. migraines post-op?

love and hugs, :grouphug:

[redjpwranglergirl]

[QUOTE=gibbrn;139048]Ok gals and guys, gals and guys,

Question....three day migraine eye pressure behind eye and a heavy jaw and a tingling head and neck.....after a National Upper cervical chiropractic association.

How many of you have seen this??? Have any of you tried this???

thanks folks,
love and hugs,
Victoria[/QUOT

Sorry Victoria you're having so much pain:( . Call me "dense" (my son calls me "Oldie Hawn":eek: ) but I'm not clear on whether you've gone to a chiro or are looking for one. I can sympathize with the miagraine pain because that is about the worst pain I've ever dealt with myself. Do you take any muscle relaxers regularly or, are you able to tolerate them? That's what has kept the miagraines pretty much at bay for me- I have such severe spasms in my neck. What all have you tried so far? And maybe we can come up with some other ideas for you. I know what works (or at least helps) for me but it might be exactly the wrong thing for you.

[gibbrn]

hi RPJ,

thanks for the interest...I am on baclofen 10mg qid...muscle relaxant and diazepam (valium) not much more of a muscle relaxant than that...lol...

I have taken the migraine meds and yeah got the neck spasms but the eye spasms are the worst feels like someone is poking out my eye from the inside...sorry gross.....but I have been to see the Nucca chiro and that is when all my symptoms began...with the first so called adjustment. I am going again today and will discuss this with him....when I see him. Sort or worried didn't shower for a day....and sort of lay around all weekend....

anyhooooo thanks any other input????

love and hugs,
Victoria
ps love the oldie hawn....hugs V

[redjpwranglergirl]

hi RPJ,

thanks for the interest...I am on baclofen 10mg qid...muscle relaxant and diazepam (valium) not much more of a muscle relaxant than that...lol...

I have taken the migraine meds and yeah got the neck spasms but the eye spasms are the worst feels like someone is poking out my eye from the inside...sorry gross.....but I have been to see the Nucca chiro and that is when all my symptoms began...with the first so called adjustment. I am going again today and will discuss this with him....when I see him. Sort or worried didn't shower for a day....and sort of lay around all weekend....

anyhooooo thanks any other input????

love and hugs,
Victoria
ps love the oldie hawn....hugs V

Hmmmmmm....don't know- I would definitely tell him what's going on with you. In my experience, the majority of the time that I've gone to mine, it's been the only thing to get my neck out of such pain. But, there's been some times, especially if I wait too long to go in:rolleyes: , that I do come out of there hurting a little more than I did when I went in but it passes. I've also heard some people say that a chiro made them much worse and I think that can be a distinct possibility- not all chiros are the same or as good as some others, just like some drs. aren't. So I can see why they might not want to ever go back to one. Your experience sounds pretty bad to me but maybe he'll be able to get you "straightened out". If not, I'm not so sure I'd want to continue going there- just in case you continued to get much worse. I guess if I was you, after you got home and didn't have to drive anywhere else, I'd take whatever muscles relaxers I had ( I can't remember- have you ever tried Zanaflex? Or, is it something you couldn't tolerate?) and a pain reliever and try a heating pad. Sometimes ice is the ONLY thing that will get rid of my pain but I know alot of people here can't use it. The neuro tried me on Baclofen before he tried Zanaflex and it really didn't do me any good- the Zanaflex is the only thing that has helped me. That, and the dose of Elavil (that ya'll would probably think would kill a horse:D ) that I take at bedtime. Let us know what happens after this chiro visit- I guess we can keep brainstorming.

[LinJane]

I have never experienced migraines. My daughter gets them quite often.

But the chiro thing. I was told years ago by a chiro friend that from what I have he wouldn't even touch me. I have tried massage and accupuncture which I believe massage was good but not accu. I've been sticking with the bengay or icy hot on my neck and shoulder every night. Relieves the symptoms if nothing else. On the east coast we are having rain which is killing me. I don't know about anyone else but the weather makes a big difference in pain level.

Starting to get kids ready to go back to school. Not sure if I'm happy or not. #1 daughter a senior. Son a freshman in a Catholic school (costs a fortune, I had to buy his books on line!!), 7th grader and pre-schooler. Keeps me busy! But, makes me extremely happy! Who needs money!

Linda

[Jo*mar]

Ok gals and guys, gals and guys,

Question....three day migraine eye pressure behind eye and a heavy jaw and a tingling head and neck.....after a National Upper cervical chiropractic association.

How many of you have seen this??? Have any of you tried this???

thanks folks,
love and hugs,
Victoria


You had a NUCCA adjustment and got the migraine?:(
gosh darn it!

I've had c1/c2 adjs , quite a few at the beginning of my chiro tx- I was misaligned for a long time:eek: But I never had any problems from it.

what style of adj. did they use ??

a small drop platform ? {my DC uses this type and it is a surprisingly gentle adjustment}
I think there is an pressurized air jet type
and most likely a free hand type of adjustment

Did you call the DC and ask if this is normal or if he can re adjust?
it {C1/C2} may have moved too far during the adjustment??

or the adj may have triggered other things - like muscles spasms or triggerpoints.
possibly go back for a re evaluation?? - if the DC does other modalities??

I would at least call and let him know you are having this problem - see what he says- hopefully he will say "please come back in and let me see why this happened {and not charge $$ for this visit}.

[Sea Pines 50]

hi, kidz!

well, apparently i've undergone a remarkable transformation over the weekend and i am a wonderful mom again. i've been redeemed somehow through the good graces of godknowswhat, in miss chelsea's eyes...

thank you from the bottom of my heart to those of you who responded to my dilemma, daughters and moms alike - and everyone else, too; i so appreciated the input cuz i tend to lose perspective quickly where that favorite child of mine is concerned.

more importantly, 'dem bonez is healing and chels is on the mend, i am very happy to say. no torn ligaments, no dread nerve injury and she is in good spirits under the excellent care of her USC-trained recently graduated nursy friend, emily, who rescued her from my clutches last week:rolleyes:. apparently everything i tried to explain to my daughter medically sounds much more authentic when emily says it. which is just fine with me!:)

hey, jo! we need a separate migraine thread i fear! you know i don't know how to do that, dear. i know how to have a killer complex migraine, though. i am a veritable expert in that department. but never have i found a med to address that particularly nasty side of the TOS beast:eek:, i am sorry to report.

coldpacks, moist heatpacks and a quiet, dark, silent room do me about as good as anything. which are much easier to come by, i do realize, once your children grow up and leave home. or the husband leaves you. and you lose your job. and all your friends stop calling.

i can tell you how to arrange all of that, victoria and shellie, if it would help...

but somehow i don't think that's what you have in mind.

victoria i have to ask you. are you talking about the chiros who only do the C-1/C-2 adjustments, and isn't that supposed to put you in closer alignment with god, or something along those lines? just humor an old sinner and answer the question when you're feeling better...

i trust you're not going to let this same fellow give you another adjustment, however, if he gave you this horrible migraine h/a the first time out? would not think that advisable under any circumstances, at least not while that awful h/a is still raging, my good friend up there in canada, oh! canada!

personally, i could never get chiros to touch me. have too much "going on" in the cervical spine they always said. afraid of a lawsuit i suppose. but i have heard that chiropractic has come a long way since the last time i saw a DC and is much gentler now, so i sure would like to explore that as an option again sometime...

i know joyce is going to chime in right about________ NOW!!!!

hahaha

welcome home, shellie! good to see ya, kid.

alison
"Be Brave"

[redjpwranglergirl]

I have to say here, the chiro I went to for years (also worked for her as a mt) was very gentle- she was a very petite woman but she could get the job done. She retired last year (early 40's- must be nice, huh?) and a man bought out her building, business, patients, the whole shebang. My husband went to him several times and really likes him but I hadn't really needed to go until a few months ago.....Partly, I guess I was dreading it a little because I was so used to her and was afraid he'd snap me like a twig. Well, I did finally give it a try and OMG....He did my neck just fine but, my back:eek: .....let's just say that it felt like my spine was now outside my body and that my ribs were flat as a pancake. NOT pleasant. That's not to say that he didn't help me (after I recovered....) but I don't think I can take another adjustment like that on my back. What Sea Pines mentioned about the heat packs, quiet dark room was pretty much how I dealt with the ha's before I was put on this medication and that was 4 yrs. ago and while I still get headaches and severe neck pain occasionally it's nothing like it was before. I take a low dose of Zanaflex during the day but have the option of upping it quite a bit if I need to- that is, as long as I don't want to do anything during the day but sleep.:D Anybody who has never had a miagraine can't imagine how severe and life-altering the pain is.

[johannakat]

Shellie- yes, i did have bad headaches for about 1.5 months after surgery-not sure if they were migraines or not but they really really sucked and nothing that i take helped them. My pt did some craniosacral work and they have been much better since.

so glad to hear you have made it back to us, take it really easy on yourself and rest rest rest.


Victoria- on headaches and muscle symptoms...my left side used to get funny tingles after chiropractic adjustments sometimes. not any more since surgery. No doctor i ever talked to made much of it, even dr J who listens pretty well to everything and accept that alternative treatments like chiropractic can really help you. I think sometimes the adjustment can just get to places where you don't normalyl distrubed our already messed up nerves...i don't have any idea if it is good or bad or benign. SINCE surgery I had a day that I got a massage and they worked on my SCM muscles, and after that I had superintense cluster headaches for two weeks until (as i mentioned above) SuperJoyce did some craniosacral work. I had a few stray headaches before the massage as well but I haven't had any since the craniosacral work.

Hope I am making sense, typing w/kids all over me.:Crazy 2:

[johannakat]

Allie cat- I am very glad to hear you and DD are back in your good graces...I am afraid i wasn't so nice to my mommy when she came out here from far away for my first surgery, hoping to rectify that and be nicer this time around....moms and daughters have this trouble all the time.

It isn't you...it is your biological relationship to your daughter that does it

:p :p :p :p :p

[Jo*mar]

I made a Migraine with TOS thread here-
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?p=139246#post139246

We haven't had a dedicated thread on that subject here yet.
thanks for the suggestion Alison:cool:

[gibbrn]

hi guys
feeling a bit better now...had another adjustment today. it is a such gentle adjustment you hardly feel it. I was for my first adjustment put on my side and on a chiro table with an adjustable head piece that he puts at a certain angle then barely touches my neck with the side of his hand....he was very concerned about the headaches....but I did say if you move my "normal" around you could impinge vessels, nerves or make muscles twitch and spasm causing the symptoms...he agreed with me.

as for the muscle relaxants I have been on zanaflex and still have some, but only take it when I can be put out like a horse...lol
I literally drool up a storm on it...tried it at 1mg and still same effect but it damn well works!!!!!!!!!!! Only I can't tolerate the lack of life....should have taken it for the headache...still aches on the side of my head and is not so nice so perhaps I will take it at bedtime...

you guys are the greatest!!!!!!!!!!!!
love and hugs,
Victoria:grouphug:

[Jo*mar]

Oh, good I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better - I was worried that you might not want to go back and give him another try at it - to see if he could fix you up better.

[gibbrn]

hey it couldn't get any worse....:eek:

thanks,
lvoe and hugs,
Victoria

[redjpwranglergirl]

If you can tolerate the Zanaflex, I'd definitely say to try it if and when there's a next time- although hopefully there won't be. Or rather, try it if you know you're going to be home and able to "drool".:D I guess it goes to prove that all medications effect us all differently. I've been taking 2mg. during the day for years and it doesn't bother me at all- I'm able to drive, function,etc. but I also don't take it on an empty stomach because it probably would make me drowsy. I take 8 mg. at bedtime.

[DDayMBB]

Do you think we all may just have some common elements going on here?? I have cervical probelms starting at C3 right down to the Thoracics, RSD Migraines. My Neurologist has me on 100mg of Topomax BID... sound like time maybe for a questioneer/Survey on how many, the area severity, longevity onset etc

[Horizontal One]

HI All
Just wanted to say sorry for my really down posting the other day. I am a little better. I was having a tough time and just did not seem to be able to do anything right for anyone at home and the little fellow was playing up.

Sorry friends

Hx:grouphug:

[Sea Pines 50]

OK, i assume you are referring to your post on the august check-in thread, is that right? i was going to thank you for that one, it resonated with me so much!!! that feeling of being fed up and i can't do anything right... god damn, i know it so well, Hx. in fact, i just went through something like that with my DD. oh! how i can relate!

so don't you dare apologize for anything. mark told me himself, in fact, that's exactly the purpose he had in mind when he started this thread way back when. we ALL need to vent every now and again. actually i think it is very important to let off steam, and to be able to do so among safe and supportive people is KEY.

the thing is, Hx, we all have so much to deal with (and you especially, it seems to me... it's why so many of us look up to you - i wonder if you even know how much?!?!:)), it doesn't take MUCH when a life situation arises for us to come to a boil. well, speaking for myself, that is. i am at the very least shall we say, "fully whelmed" at all times! so i am very easily overwhelmed when the slightest little bit of turmoil starts to broil.

this latest fallout with my daughter she says was "no big deal" to her :cool:. well, ya could've fooled me, Hx!!! my perception of it was so TOTALLY different. and i was a shivering wreck over it, all weekend :eek: !!! (isn't that the term you teabags use?:D - we say "nervous wreck" over here...).

and yes, needless to say i allowed all the drama to drive my pain levels sky high(er). then, i beat myself up for doing that on top of everything else...

the whole "self-flagellation without mercy" thing, the last fortress of the TOS'er!!!

so please don't feel like you owe anybody an apology. we're mighty, we can take it! (JK! what i mean is, we get it Hx... you are among friends. we understand. and it was NOT even a negative entry to begin with! you so crazy!!!) your post contained its usual uplifting message about tomorrow being better than today, like always. you are an absolute ray of light on here. i don't know how you are able to walk through what you have to bear with the humor, grace and wherewithal that you do sometimes and i always, always look forward to seeing your posts.

hey, i'm wondering if some of your meds might not be contributing to the nausea (as well as the pain itself). are your docs looking into that aspect? i saw that victoria threw up some good links for you the other day; might not be a bad idea to seek the consult of a fresh pair of eyes on the whole shebang. just a thought. i have them occasionally. very, very rarely, Hx, but nevertheless! there you go. or a good pharmacist might be able to shed some light. light is good!!!

:hug:

alison
"Be Brave"

[johannakat]

hey you know, i got told yesterday by two different people that "we aren't being negative today, now...you must have meant to say [insert positive version of my negative statement here]." And for sure, I was out trying to help myself, but frankly it is SOOOOO easy to get overwhelmed by this stupid maze of chiros, PT's, neuros, surgeons, etc etc etc.

i was pretty down on myself, it was a nice reminder that i don't really need to be.

truthfully, i think i have been trying too hard to keep the pain meds lower- and was havinga bit of a flare at the same time. Yesterday i took all my allotted breakthroughs on top of my slow release stuff- i was amazed at how much better i felt. I guess i didn't realize i had been hurting that bad... I think I (we all) need to do that every once in a while- I mean, it is good to keep a beat on your pain so you feel it some, and don't overdo. It is a such a fine line where your psyche just gets dragged down, though. Sometimes it is a good thing to have a day where you just decide you are going to knock it out entirely for a little while (within the bounds of your prescribed meds, of course). I feel REMARKABLY better after doing that yesterday, and i can deal with being back to the low level much much better today because of it.

Alison- of COURSE you take these things harder on you than your DD...that is once again the nature of kid-mom relationship. you are there to be the constant love, allowed to be abused a bit because you are safe. Take it as a complement, my dear, that she is comfortable enough with you to bite your head off once in a while. People she is worried about her relationship with do NOT get that treatment you know....it is a PRIVILEGE, dammit!!!! (too bad they didn't tell you how fun this was going to be beforehand.....right???)

so there is my cheery thought for today- be good to yourself and love yourself. Treat yourself well- meaning, do what is good for you even if it is hard, and be kind about whatever you can't do because it is all OK...you can only do whatever your capable of and sometimes it is precious little. :)

[LinJane]

I just want to say thank you to all for all your advice. It may be specified to someone else but applies to what I am going through. I enjoyed the old site but I don't believe it was the same. I may be wrong, it has been so long since I had been on. As we all know, it is tough to live your "normal" life and deal with what we deal with. My kids are bombarding me with school shopping issues. I hate to shop. My husband doesn't believe me. He thinks all women love to shop:eek: It is a pain. I started a trend years ago that I take each child alone to the mall, buy their school clothes and take them to the restaurant of their choice:Was a great idea with 2 kids, now have 4:rolleyes: Luckily the little one doesn't know this yet but usually has to come with me with the others. Very time consuming and expensive.

You all seem to have such a great relationship together and I appreciate being let in. :grouphug: Thanks, Linda

[johannakat]

Linda- you are so often on here sharing your own good attitude and it is equally appreciated. We are happy to have you :)

today I got a cortisone shot on my operative side, with the hope that it will give my left C8 nerve the kick in the pants that it needs to realize that the RIB IS GONE and it doesn't need to stay so flared anymore!!!!!!

Dr J says this is a pretty common thing, but I hadn't heard anyone talk about it before...I'll let you all know in a few days if it works.

xoxo and goodnight to you all...off to beddie bye for me.

Johanna

[LinJane]

Sometimes I feel I post too much but it is so nice to "talk" with people who understand.

MarkHaven't heard from you lately. I hope you are doing ok and Goober is leaving.

Today I.... had friends who I grew up with for lunch. I don't do stuff like this often because, as you know, it's hard. When my mother was pregnant with me, our house was being built in a new neighborhood. My mom went to check out contruction and a neighbor came out to tell her that President Kennedy had been shot. They have been best friends since, and her daughter has been mine. We all had lunch today which we do 2 times a year since all kids are grown and moved. But it was fun. Watching my kids and hers playing and reminiscing of all the stuff we did years ago.

Today I... will probably through something at my 15 year old son because he is driving me crazy!!! I grew up with sisters and don't know what to do with him. My husband thinks its funny! I have already had to repair walls from him, re-paint rooms, and trying to keep my sanity. Sending him to Catholic School next year. PRAY for me that it helps! Linda

[dabbo]

I'm pretty sure that my mom wanted to get rid of me when I was 15.... to say we didn't get along would be a gross understatement. the tough thing is, I'm not sure what can be done about it! I'm sorry though :D

[fern]

today I went out to dinner with my Mom. I had the chicken shish-kabob and my mom had to take it off of the skewer for me. She also had to drive the car, open the doors and pay the bill. I am very appreciative to have the help of my 80yo parent but I gotta say it would be nice to be assisting her in her old age. Tomorrow is my venogram; I'm eager to get the info but not eager about facing likely surgery. Though I do see surgery at this point as the most likely possibility to getting back to earning a living again. Ah, earning a living, I can hardly remember it.

[gibbrn]

What is that again??? I have not worked in five years.....and my God I miss it like hell. I want to work and EARN a living...I wish I could be working and playing like I used to !!!!

I miss it. But I guess we all do right!!

Take care all.....feeling nostalgic.....
love and hugs to all,
Victoria

[LinJane]

DabboI have decided to keep him, just trying to figure out how to live with him! He thinks he's funny because he is bigger than me. One day he put me in a closet for a laugh! He's a football player and growing every day. I'm in trouble!

Linda

[cindyj]

Wow it's been awhile since I was here. I have a rare morning without my grandaughter so thought i would try to catch up on everyone a little. Started reading this thread going backward lol and realized I will never catch up! From what I have read, it seems everyone is having the same kind of summer I am lol, painful! I'm not going to post alot today because I want to catch up with how you are all doing. Im also on the negative side and have been for quite a while so instead of posting depressing crap I'll just read and maybe it will help lol. Hugs to you all , and even when I don't get here for a month or more, I hope you all know you are still in my daily prayers!! (((hugs)))

[gibbrn]

hi Cindy,
nice to see you back...sorry to hear of your pain! So Happy Thursday and hope you enjoy a few moments to yourself even if to have a nap

love and hugs with prayers,
Victoria:hug:

[LinJane]

Today I got my hair cut for the first time in about 3 months! I took both daughters for theirs also. Getting ready for school. Daughter #1 has a field hocky game tomorrow. Younger son has football this weekend. Football is my favorite! The boys love it so much and, I have to say, they are actually really good! Once football starts there are major disputes in the house. My husband and 15 year old are Cowboys fans. 12 year old likes the Eagles. I believe it started because he did not want to agree with dad and brother and he likes to stir up controversy. He's my boy! I took him to an Eagles game last January when it was about 20 degrees. It was against the Giants in Philly. It was a night game and soooo cold. I paid $500 for the tickets but he loved every minute of it. Dad doesn't like Eagles or Giants so I said I'd go. Froze my butt off and couldn't even have a beer between being cold and knowing I was responsible for he and I getting home from Philly! About 1 1/2 hour drive. But, it was worht it. he had a great time.

When my little one was around 2, the boys used to put different Jersey's on her. She would have a Cowboys Jersey on and a 1/2 later, an Eagles. I told them they had to stop playing with her like she was a doll.

[redjpwranglergirl]

Today I got my hair cut for the first time in about 3 months! I took both daughters for theirs also. Getting ready for school. Daughter #1 has a field hocky game tomorrow. Younger son has football this weekend. Football is my favorite! The boys love it so much and, I have to say, they are actually really good! Once football starts there are major disputes in the house. My husband and 15 year old are Cowboys fans. 12 year old likes the Eagles. I believe it started because he did not want to agree with dad and brother and he likes to stir up controversy. He's my boy! I took him to an Eagles game last January when it was about 20 degrees. It was against the Giants in Philly. It was a night game and soooo cold. I paid $500 for the tickets but he loved every minute of it. Dad doesn't like Eagles or Giants so I said I'd go. Froze my butt off and couldn't even have a beer between being cold and knowing I was responsible for he and I getting home from Philly! About 1 1/2 hour drive. But, it was worht it. he had a great time.

When my little one was around 2, the boys used to put different Jersey's on her. She would have a Cowboys Jersey on and a 1/2 later, an Eagles. I told them they had to stop playing with her like she was a doll.

LinJane,
Your husband and son would be very popular down here- we LOVE our Cowboys!

[dabbo]

How could they be Cowboys fans up there? Thats a Yankees fan in Boston! FYI - HUGE Giants fan, so by default, I can't stand the Eagles, and there are WAY too many Cowboys fans in Memphis for my liking. And I have a sneaking suspicion that it will be a long 6 months of NY Giants football ..... oh well. I'm used to it by now.

[Peg24]

I am having one of those days. Kinda depressed and some TOS flare up to go with it.

Have had a rough year and really can't wait till its over.

Sorry to sound like I'm Miss gloom today, just one of those days.

Peggy

[LinJane]

PeggySorry your'e having a bad time. Unfortunately, this monster of TOS can do that besides our own usual every day life. Hope things pick up for you.

DabboI grew up with 2 sisters, no brothers but we always watched football with Dad. Basically Giants fans. When my husband came into the picture my mom told him he couldn't root for the Cowboys in her house! Ha Ha! I just go with the flow now. I'll root for Giants just to annoy them sometimes. It makes it fun. Sundays are alot of fun in our house. The boys football games then watching NFL. Obviously, Direct TV with the football package. They can each watch whomever they want in a different room! We ususally do a football pool but I ended up doing too much of it last year. It's a pain. Unless you win alot!

Linda

[gibbrn]

ok is it a Canadian thing???:Scratch-Head: Are there no hockey fans out there?????
:mfr_wha: Am I the only one who knows what a good hockey game is????

love to ya'll
Victoria:hug:

[Shelley]

Didn't hocky die with the strike? Atleast here in the US :D Only kidding. I shouldn't talk I am originally from Buffalo Sabre country.

But I am psyched for college Football. Go Blue!

[johannakat]

I am a soccer fan- something about the constant action!!!! Hockey is my next favorite, though I don't have time to pay much attention to it.

[LinJane]

Sorry, where I live it's football. But you have to understand, We don't get alot of ice. We have indoor rinks but it isn't as popular because the rivers and lakes don't freeze very ofthen. Last year was the first time in years that our rivers have frozen. I'm sure you grew up with it. Atleast where I am, it is football or soccer. My boys wrestle but that is a year round sport.

There is nothing like a winter day, fire in the fireplace, pot of chili, a cold beer and football on the big screen tv! Even my girls watch (ok, sometimes).

Linda

[johannakat]

yes, i miss fall football parties (not the football so much, just the parties) I went to the tailgating capital of the world for college...Penn State. Only actually went into 2-3 games my whole college career...but always tailgated!!!!

[Shelley]

Penn State tailgating captial of the world. Nope Ann Arbor and the University of Michigan. Go blue...I am counting down till college football.

[Jo*mar]

Well I guess I'm waiting for basketball - to see how the Portland Trailblazers do with the changes and the top draft pick player they got.

I always liked playing sports way better than watching them on TV- or now whatever I can still manage to play of them.:eek:

[redjpwranglergirl]

OK Dabbo,
I'm almost afraid to ask- how do you feel about the Titans?:D

[dabbo]

I can't stand the Titans.... GREAT place to watch a game though. you know when the crowd gets into it.... like they did last year to come back by like 24 pts in the 2nd half to beat the Giants. It was brutal....probably lucky that I got out of there without getting into a brawl.......but I was on the 50 yard like like 15 rows up.
Hockey- I'll watch it, but not alot of TV coverage. I work for a Canadian company if that helps :D

Shelley - we've gotta have words!! Big Blue = Giants NOT Michigan. anyways....you'll enjoy this U of M fight song (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1192856268169083106)

[redjpwranglergirl]

I can't stand the Titans.... GREAT place to watch a game though. you know when the crowd gets into it.... like they did last year to come back by like 24 pts in the 2nd half to beat the Giants. It was brutal....probably lucky that I got out of there without getting into a brawl.......but I was on the 50 yard like like 15 rows up.
Hockey- I'll watch it, but not alot of TV coverage. I work for a Canadian company if that helps :D

Shelley - we've gotta have words!! Big Blue = Giants NOT Michigan. anyways....you'll enjoy this U of M fight song (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1192856268169083106)

Oh thank heavens....I LOATHE the Titans....Needless to say, their owner is NOT popular in Houston- good riddance. I'm sorry that Houston "gifted" them to ya'll though!:D

[DDayMBB]

Even being from Pa I detest the Steelers and the Pidgeons (Eagles) even more since I have been little OK I have never been truely little, but I followed the team where the heart of football began GREEN BAY... it is sad to say that the Eagles Stadium requires a magistrate court on premises due to fan behavior. Good or bad, I have to say they rule...GB Victoria, I will tune in a hockey game now and again and even have been to the local farm team the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penquins games though said more of a calling for football...

hope all are well !!!

[LinJane]

MarkNice to hear from you, it's been awhile. My boys went to football camp in Philly for 2 years. The Last pro who was overseeing was Jevon Kearse. Great guy Huh! We do hav signed footballs from him and Also Tony Dorsett. We were in Disney and they were having a Football Dinner where we were staying. My son walked up to Tony, not knowing who he was, (sorry but it was crowded with very expensively dressed big men) He asked if he played ball, he said he had and signed his football for him. Pretty cool. Also have a helmet signed by Steve Young. As I've said, Football is very important in this house. We'll see this year. I'm just glad Mr. Vick is out. What a jerk!

[gibbrn]

Hi all,
Just got back from one night away at Radium in British Columbia about 2.5hrs away from me in Calgary. Hotel was HELL no heat and 5degree nights..ahhhh not enough blankets and poopy (not literal) pillows!!!

But went for the Hot Springs....heated by a radioactive source deep in the earth and come out at about 30-38 degrees with all the amazing mineral salts

OH BOY was it HEAVEN I did not want to get out but after over two hours and pruned to a prune (ok lame but what else do you say??) so I felt amazing until the bed issue but at least there were no bedbugs...just poop and hair all over the toilet when we checked in which the room wasn't even ready yet.......ok vent and rant all in one...

but the tiny blip in the highway in the middle of the rockies in B.C. is only there due to the hot springs and ok I want to live in the hot spring...unfortunately they add chlorine due to public pool and all...babies...get the point??? ok so I am going to work on getting a recipe for the salts in the pool and then will let ya'll know what to put in your hot tub or your bath at home...not just epsom salts so I think it will be lithium salts, calcium salts...ok so I will inquire and let you know was amazing muscle relaxation!!!! :Excited:

k love to all.....hugs for a peaceful week to all!
Victoria

[LinJane]

VictoriaHot Springs sound great but hotel doesn't! I've been enjoying my hot tub. It really does help. I have to take advantage now because it is not close to the house so when it gets cold, I won't walk out to get in. My husband and boys do though. We have a pool house which, if we put a heater in I would change there when it's cold. I'll spring that one on hubby. He told me yesterday that next weekend we are hosting a football party at our house. Last time he did that I flipped burgers and dogs all afternoon. Not happening this time. I told him we could order pizza or subs. He is not a griller and It hurts my neck! We have a great yard for it so it will be fun, I'm just not cooking for 25 boys and their families! Yesterday was our first game and they tied. It was fun being back in the football mode.
Going school shopping today, lucky me. I have to make sure I bring plenty of checks!

[jesp]

Hi Vicotria,

I went to Radium Hot Springs 2 years ago on a redo vacation of the Canadian Rockies. The first time I went in 2002, I didn't enjoy it much due to TOS. The springs are so super relaxing- wish I was there now. I envy you living in Calgary and being so close to Banff and all that. Not many high mountains where I live in NJ. The biggest near me are about 1200 m (if I did conversion correctly).
Jeanne

[LinJane]

JeanneWe do not live by any mountains, but, we have had some nice weather in the past few days. Last week was awful. Rainy and nasty. Not good for pain. It is supposed to be nice for the next week so I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Linda

[Edelweiss]

am back to the forum after the rehabilitation-center-break.

I spent a good time there with multiple therapies, good meals for lunch and dinner :) and I can tell you it was IN VAIN!!!!!

On tuesday I had a control appointment at the shoulder-specialist and he was very un-satisfied with my arm and ordered an MRI - today I got the results: with the highest probability re-(re)-rupture of the reconstructed subscapularis tendon.
I cried when I read this and I have to wait until monday to talk to my doctor - this makes me nervous.

At the rehabilitation center I was treated for TOS too and I loved the mobilisation of the first rib and the manipulation on the thoracic spine. I had the feeling of a bigger thorax afterwards.

I read your conversations and I send all my best wishes to everyone here and hope that things will be better!!

All the best and nice greetings,
Barbara
PS: Mark, I will answer to your new TOS definition later.....

[gibbrn]

Hi,
sorry to hear about your bad test results and hope you can relax until you talk to your doctor on Monday. Best wishes and try to do some good fun things this weekend to take your mind away from the issues at hand....they will wait however anxious you are!!!

Love and hugs,
Victoria

[redjpwranglergirl]

am back to the forum after the rehabilitation-center-break.

I spent a good time there with multiple therapies, good meals for lunch and dinner :) and I can tell you it was IN VAIN!!!!!

On tuesday I had a control appointment at the shoulder-specialist and he was very un-satisfied with my arm and ordered an MRI - today I got the results: with the highest probability re-(re)-rupture of the reconstructed subscapularis tendon.
I cried when I read this and I have to wait until monday to talk to my doctor - this makes me nervous.

At the rehabilitation center I was treated for TOS too and I loved the mobilisation of the first rib and the manipulation on the thoracic spine. I had the feeling of a bigger thorax afterwards.

I read your conversations and I send all my best wishes to everyone here and hope that things will be better!!

All the best and nice greetings,
Barbara
PS: Mark, I will answer to your new TOS definition later.....

Barbara,
It sounds like your stay at the rehab center was a good one but I'm so sorry to hear the news about your shoulder.:( I hope this doesn't mean you're going to have to have more surgery on it. Let us know what the dr. says on Monday.

[johannakat]

Barbara- i had been wondering how you were doing- nice to hear from you, sorry about the bad news :(

not typing much since i just had my own surgery, but hope all stays well with you, lucky for you things are open there on monday- it is a holiday here in the US...you'd have to wait till tuesday ;)

[Jo*mar]

Oh Barb:(
I hope it can be a simple fix - let us know what dr says on Monday.

[Sea Pines 50]

i know that shoulder injuries can take a long time to resolve. here's hoping that your doc on monday will have a totally different interpretation of those imaging results. in the meanwhile, please don't let this ruin your weekend - we all know that worry does nothing but add to the tension our bodies are already overloaded with, right?

happy to hear you were pleased with the TOS rehab that you received, and i am sure that all of that rib mobilization and so forth will only help your scapular stabilizing muscles as well. it all goes together needless to say...

you are so knowledgeable about keeping up with vitamins and supplements and the right nutrition to keep your tendons and ligaments healthy and strong. i know you will do well even if it feels like the progress you are making is slow going sometimes.

please rest easy, gentle ROM and ice as needed and do let us know what the specialist says next week, barb. i, too, hope that you can avoid having to have any more surgery on that shoulder - perhaps a good immobilizer would be an idea for you? (not one that looks like a handbag!:eek::D:cool:)

alison
"Be Brave"

[gibbrn]

well after four loads of laundry, washing the front door and doing more laundry, folding, cleaning up after kitty....doesn't always get done every day ...:Dunno:sorry Shady bear.....bad bad mommy.....who dosn't feel well all the time... I am a mess today....pain, agony of muscle spasms.....ya'll know!! idiot idiot idiot.....:confused: why oh why do I do this to myself.....


now have to vent
I am dealing with such poo poo from comp as they are telling me i am able to go back to work with restrictions of ridiculous things that I can't even do here at the home never mind at a full time job....cant even tolerate a car ride over two hours without wanting a nap....or the need to move like a trapped bug....

I now have to go to a family doc who really doesn't know me well and ask him to say he agrees with the notes from my specialist to say that I am unable to work at all. I am furious at having to have to go through all of this. I have the medical from my specialist to say I can't work but they ..the Infamous THEY at comp have decided without laying eyes on me or seeing how I live or seeing the drugs I am on or considering I have not nursed in five years!!!!!!!! they.....so I am sore and ticked off....

ok rant over feel a migraine coming on....blue cheese earlier or the work yesterday :Hum: likely the work......got to take my meds and perhaps lie down....
thanks for reading my rubbish....

you guys all rock....oh and can't feel my arm now from typing :Bang-Head:

much love to ya'll
Victoria

[Edelweiss]

thank Victoria, red, Johanna, Jo, allison for the support!
You are right, the problem will be the same and I cannot do anything until monday. But it is present in my head and even if I talk to myself to motivate me to think anything else, it returns after a while.
The weather is not fine, so I will not go out for a walk, but maybe, I find a cultural programm to distract.

I just wanted to add something very helpful from the rehab clinic: they did not make ice packs but "soft curd cheese" packs for 20 minutes. This helps so much for inflammations and is cold and relaxing. This is an old "house-remedy" but it works very well.

Again a big thank you!!!
Until monday,
barbara

[jaldridge6]

Today I... had a nervous breakdown while on a hike. The first half was great. Then as I was about to turn back a swarm of black flies hit me and about two dozen of them stayed with me the entire 2 mile treck back.... The buzzing in my ears caused me to completely freak out. I felt like the flies completely took advantage of me. They were inconsiderate and invasive and refused to heed my warnings. I am never hiking again... EVER. The horror... the horror....

[LinJane]

Today I am getting ready for my cleaning lady, which, as I am sure you all know, cleaning before she comes. Not actual cleaning but changing sheets on 4 beds (don't hve to change little ones sheets because she has slept with hubby and I for 2 years!), laundry, tie up newspapers, etc. Have some kids to help but they will do one thing and then disappear. In their rooms, waatching tv, videos, etc. Also my husband invited 20 football players and their parents and siblings for a barbeque and pool party on sunday! Lucky me! Which also means cleaning the yard and pool house so boys can change out there as this is immediately following a game. I will buy plenty of wine and beer (wine for me, beer for whoever else!) and of course, a truck full of soda. I suggested subs so no cooking but hubby wants burgers and dogs, oh, and he doesn't grill! Guess you does? Me! We'll have to work something out as it is my right side affected and I am right handed. Wish me luck! Linda

[johannakat]

good luck tomorrow linda.

today i managed to go grocery shopping with my mom and 14yo's help. just about killed me. it'll be delivery for the next few weeks, i think.

on a bright note, the 14yo was sooooooo sweet and helpful that i actually enjoyed having her along ;)

[Edelweiss]

wish you all a good start in a new week.

I have seen my doctor today and I cannot tell you more because he wants a MR-Arthrography (?) to get a finer diagnosis. He says with the clinical tests and the MR pictures we already have enough indices to say there was a rerupture. But to be sure, he wants me to make this arthrography.
He is a well know specialist for the shoulder and he has never seen this in his career before that "young" tendons tear. I had the recontruction-surgery 3,5 month ago and now we are at the same state.
Maybe there is really an illness of the tendon???? I will insist the next time to know more about this.
So, the story continues.......I will post my news in some days.

So are my news!

I hope that johanna and lina could relax from there overdoing!

All the best and nice day,
Barbara

[LinJane]

I had the football barbeque yesterday and it was great. One of the coaches did the burgers and dogs so I didn't have to grill! Hubby had offered but he really doesn't know what hes doning. A few people pushed others in the pool. No big deal until my hubby pushed a 15 year old in. H didn't know how to swim!!! Now we had hubby and two other coaches jumping in! Plus a coach cut his leg on a horsehoe spike! Never a dull moment around here!

Just found out 15 year old son needs shoes for school tomorrow. He's not allowed to wear sneakers. New school, new rules. I didn't know so we're going shopping again!

Linda

[olecyn]

glanced at the posts...
just cant seem to keep up.

Massive occipital HA
Been going crazy ALL weekend
So much to do
NO arms and hands to do it with
Tired of asking cranky hubby to help with everything
So frustrated I picked myself up last night while the ANGELS game was on and headed to a cool movie theater all by myself.
Saw the movie "Stardust", entertaining
However, here i am and everything is still here to do
I HATE TOS, I HATE PAIN, I HATE W/C, I HATE THE WORLD

CANT WAIT FOR PT AND HYPNOTHERAPY THIS WEEK!

Offering of home to daugher of deceased neighbor friend has worn off, 6 weeks later.
We are helping a needed person but when is it TIME TO SAY BYE BYE
As Missy says, she's made herself too comfortable.
"O please, lord let her find her way home this week"

Have a better day/weekend than me
Keep the funnies coming

[olecyn]

Did u just have a rib resection??
U r at the beach already?
O my


good luck tomorrow linda.

today i managed to go grocery shopping with my mom and 14yo's help. just about killed me. it'll be delivery for the next few weeks, i think.

on a bright note, the 14yo was sooooooo sweet and helpful that i actually enjoyed having her along ;)

[Sea Pines 50]

i'm sorry the shoulder specialist didn't have better news for you, but glad you have his attention now and that he wants to delve further into things for you. does he know your whole TOS history? forgive me for asking, i just want to make sure they are not treating the TOS as somehow wholly separate from your shoulder injury... something tells me (and we all know, i ain't no doc!) that would be a mistake.

perhaps it is different in your country, and i certainly hope so. over here in the US, i can share with you that i have been to more hand surgeons, for example, than i want to tell you, to see about my poor atrophied hand. (well, today i know that it is the true neuro TOS causing that atrophy, but back then i did not...) not a single one of these highly specialized docs ever mentioned TOS as a possible cause of my longstanding nerve compression to me, barb. while they may have glanced at the EMG/NCV's i thought to bring with me to the consult(s), i don't believe any of them were comfortable looking any higher than my wrist, clinically!:eek: well, they did talk about releasing the cubital tunnel, so i guess in surgery (had i let them cut me!) they would have had to venture at least as high as the elbow... but since none could pinpoint exactly where the ulnar nerve was being compressed (elbow? nope! must be "somewhere" in the forearm...) we were not comfortable allowing any hand surgeon to butcher my arm up on a scavenger hunt "in the hope" that he could find something. yikes!!!

it's been my experience that doctors in general - and surgeons, in particular, have gotten so overspecialized in any given area that, unless your specific array of sx and pain complaints happens to fall neatly within the given box they are thinking inside of... well, sad to say but they are likely to either dismiss you out of hand as someone they can't possibly help, or to focus so narrowly on just a very tiny portion of your sx that do somehow pertain to their specialty - ignoring the rest - as to give you shoddy tx in the process.

the big picture is often missed by treating patients this way. again, this is only my experience, barbara and i know nothing of your situation... hopefully your shoulder specialist is fully versed in TOS and has all the information on your case pertaining to that syndrome as well, and understands fully how TOS could certainly impact on the health of the ligaments and tendons in your shoulder - or at the very least, is open-minded enough to learn about it.

i do get that it must be frustrating for these guys to have young patients coming back with "relapsed" surgeries like this... or even needing surgeries in the first place!:( something else is afoot that they haven't a clue how to sort out quite yet, methinks... you don't want to unwittingly end up anybody's guinea pig, though, barbara.

are there other options to regain ligament health besides more surgery? just thinking out loud here. you poor girl, you must be a bit frustrated... but it's good that your doc ordered the MR arthrography (sp?). hopefully, that is a more sophisticated imaging test and will be able to tell him much more clearly where the problem lies. keeps more options open that way. i'd get another doc to look at it too, which may be what you're already planning to do...

my money's on the cheese!:D just say you want to go back and live at the spa with the old-world remedies, refuse to come home til they make you all better!!!! OK, i took a group vote on this barb....

:Demonstration::Demonstration::mf_swordfight::mf:: partytime2:

don't unpack just yet!:p:o:Crazy 2::Trapeze 2::Good-Luck:

if mark were here, he could say all of this in bad german to ya: hang in there, cowgirl, you've worked too hard for this all to be taken away from you now. it's just a momentary blip on the radar screen, maybe a sign to slow down and stay put if you can? it's a long, slow rehab for shoulder stuff, that much i do know, barb. so do go easy, make those top docs and PT's work hard, though, to help you to get better. we share your frustrations and your joys, right here. know you are doing the work... and then some! but it ain't over til it's over, so we never give up. your body wants to heal and the trick is to find a way to give it the right signals to get it back on the correct path so that it can do just that, right? human anatomy is an amazing, amazing machine.

ah! i am rambling here and haven't even had my morning coffee. your spirit is inspiring as always. we all learn from your experiences, dear barbara. let us know when you are able to get the test done and then what it shows, as it should be most interesting.

but be sure to also ask herr doctor in the meantime if there is anything in particular that he wants you to STOP doing, in terms of your ROM, PT exercises, all the tools in your toolbox that i know you have been fine-tuning these last few weeks especially and all along the process, breathing exercises, relaxation stuff, etc. SO important not to falter in your hard-fought routines now, just because some hot-shot surgeon saw something on a picture that he didn't like!:eek: am i right? as we said in the '60's... KEEP THE FAITH... and ROCK ON, ROCK STEADY...

hmmmmm. maybe if i drank the coffee BEFORE i started writing these posts they wouldn't end up so damned long.:D what do you guys think? i know you probably make fun of me behind my back! and i dont even have dragon naturally speaking - OMG - just imagine if i ever did get that software, none of you peeps would ever, ever be safe AGAIN. it would truly be over. just stick a fork in me, i'm done over.

did i mention i have ADD? yep, a whole dang strang of alphabet soup dx's... that's me!!!:rolleyes: and, no one to talk to, really (ah! therein lies the rub!:Cowgirl:) - so the forum getz it!!!!

alison
"Be Brave"

[johannakat]

beach= supreme relaxation

hubby is responsible for all the kids at this time which makes it MUCH easier.

that sand...molds to your shape and is SOOOOOO commfy to lay on.

warm sun= better than heating pad...since all over body experience.

so YES, i am at the beach!!!!

[LinJane]

AlisonYou make me laugh! I enjoy reading your posts.

today I am having a bad day. Indavertently hitting keys while typing. Causing alot of backspacing. Hands very jumpy. Don't know why

JohannaEnjoy the beach. Labor Day here in NJ is one of the last opportunities for the beach. We have been spending time in pool and hot tub though which is great.

[fern]

How frustrating your situation must be I've heard of meds causing problems with the achilles tendons but I don't know the specifics. I hope you get some answers soon. As long as you are going to have an MRA, why not ask them if they do or if they CAN do the protocol that either Dr Collins or Dr Werden does.

Here is the link for Werden at Raytel in SF, Ca.
http://www.tosmri.com/

[fern]

Today I would like to nominate JohannaKat as the poster child for TOS rib resection surgery. Not only is she brave enough to have her 2nd surgery so closely following the first, but reports of grocery shopping and beach going during the first week post surgery! Not to mention her ability and capacity to stay in touch (by typing??). I've been such a fraidy cat to have the surgery myself, but after hearing your story Jokat I think I will sign up for mine tomorrow! Hope you continue to make such excellent progress!

Did u just have a rib resection??
U r at the beach already?
O my

[gibbrn]

I need another mri Marc...DH who I have sort of said get involoved or else....I can't live like this....song and dance..in a less fantastic tos sort of dance...:p

So he feels mri to see he thinks it is all in my neck at c3,4.5. I am in agreement since my surgery things have changed huge...more pain and more issues....so my last mri pre surgery was showing bulging disks in c 2 3 4 but

'I' think it is from my injury and the muscles and tendons are pulling my joints and my neck to such a degree...{lost so much weight had to go for a new bra fitting and the girl said my back and low right shoulder look like a scoliosis person's does and lost a cup size....:Sinking: booo hoooo the girls are almost GONE}

anyhoooo sorry guys.....

I am thinking tos and disc issues are my problem....all the headaches and the neck issues are due to a combination of all of the issues put together.

who am I to diagnose myself......anyhow just a few thoughts as I sit here pondering my life and whrer it is going and what I am doing.....like nothing tired of no life, tired of no social life, tired of not even wanting to call my best friends.....tired of wanting to do things and not being able. Want to exercise want to hike, want to CLEAN want to have fun....can someone remind me how the hell we do this in this condition....

feeling horrid feeling down feeling like this is not worth the effort.

rant over
Victoira

[LinJane]

God, Victoria, I feel the same way. Is it normal to lose weight from having TOS or a side effect of meds? I'm not complaining but I've lost over 20 lbs and people are starting to ask what has happened. I also needed new bras (also, sorry guys). But also no matter what I do my straps fall down. I'm sick of picking them up! I told my husband we have to make an effort to go out and do things. It's too easy to stay home. My kids are old enough, little one has built in babysitters. I look forward to laying in bed too much. I want to go out to dinner or a concert.

Kids are talking about making reservations for Disney and I don't even care. It's my favorite place and I can't find the excitement. Some day I will just make the reservations and be done with it.

[gibbrn]

but then that IS why I am HERE!!

I find for the strap issue....the girl at this exclusive bra store I went to...like 100- 250 dollar bras :eek: slightly over my disability budget esp. if the girls keep changing size..... so back to strap issue she did the cross over strip and with the right one really loose and the left one normal no slipage!!!!!!!!!!!! Worked well so I will do it with the TWO bra's I now have!!

Hope this helps!!

love an hugs,
Victoria

[Sea Pines 50]

i don't mean to sound an alarm unnecessarily here, but my first reading of your post was that this could be putting you back to square ONE if you are not careful!!!

don't forget, the scalene muscles, although they are small, are quite powerful enough to not only cause the cervical discs to bulge but to completely reverse the normal cervical lordosis. mine, in fact, has become kyphotic at this late stage... and this is all a part of my TOS. nothing more, nothing less.

i went to a prominent PM doc last summer, who specializes in the tx of RSD and FMS among other things, and has quite an impressive academic background to boot. one of the first questions he asked me was "have they ruled out cervical issues"? this, after showing him my end-stage hand atrophy and the rib-resection surgical report from my top TOS doc in denver (!) among other TOS-related medical records i had brought with me, including MRI/MRA's he didn't bother to view... i was so taken aback that i was speechless (yes, moi, shut up kidz!)!

when dr. annest opened me up, he found my scalenes to be very enlarged, and not only cervical bands indenting my C-8/T-1 nerves in a very unusual formation, but to make matters worse, a big old honkin' extra cervical artery transversing my BP, complicating things further. that "dent" had been there at that point for over 30 years in my T-1 nerve, thanks to all those "non-believing" cervical docs!:mad: damn near lost all function in my left hand. grrrrr

and here i had been to countless "top" L.A. docs for over 30 years seeking relief for my severe 'neck pain' before finally getting the TOS dx from dr. ahn and heading to denver shortly after that...

just how OUT did this PM doc want the "cervical issues" to be ruled, i wonder? yes, i have bulging cervical discs (several of them), yes i have complete reversal of the normal cervical lordosis, and yes i even have foraminal stenosis. but NONE of this ever even remotely explained the amount of PAIN i "claimed" to be in, according to the high-profile surgeons and PM docs i saw over those decades it took me to find my way to dr. ahn's office. the neurovascular injury was IN the BP, people! NOT in the cervical spine, nor in the cervical facet joints or whatever!!! thank god none of those surgeons i saw were ever willing to operate on me; "too many levels of involvement," they would say, or "no clear place to go in and guarantee you any kind of relief..." (read: or to make ME look good with a successful outcome!:D)

nor did it begin to cover WHY my hand was wasting away as the years rolled by... that, my very conservative neurologist said, was due to "ulnar neuropathy" of some sort. very vague, so unhelpful - a completely separate dx - which they never, ever put together with the neck pain. i was told that i must have really whacked my funny bone to have done so much damage to that ulnar nerve. seems like i would have REMEMBERED doing something like that to myself, but nooooooooooo.

TOS can and does mimic so many other disorders, victoria as you are so painfully aware. i think you hit it right on the head when you questioned the wisdom of trying to dx yourself... and with all due respect to your DH i'm sure you would not want to put him in that position, either.

a normal cervical MRI of your cervical spine is not going to show you very much at all, as you well know, if indeed your neck sx are coming from your TOS. what you would need is something like what is offered at: www.tosmri.com. or dr. jordan here in L.A. does a duplex color ultrasound which johanna has posted about which you might find useful, in connection with some of the blocks he performs and so forth.

sorry, but this very issue is what led my own docs so far down the garden path for a quarter of a F'ing century, no less!:eek:, that i just hate to see anyone else lose valuable time and money chasing paper dragons when there really is no need. there are some fairly reliable clinical tests to rule out cervical ridiculopathy which perhaps could validate what i'm trying to articulate here (and not very gracefully, i might add...). dr. werner talks about this on his site, too, if i'm not mistaken...

hey, maybe when you come down to L.A. we could explore this together! i need some pretty new pix myself!:cool:

alison
"Be Brave"

[dabbo]

Today... (well, Friday, whatever) I went to the NEW chiropractor for the initial visit. VERY impressed with the operation they run over there (except for the 1hr delay in seeing the doc). He spent 30 min (at least) interviewing me, asking problems i was having, where the pains were, etc. Asked what tests i'd had, what doc's i'd seen. He examined me, and said that while he didn't think he could cure me, he thought that he could help. They work hand-in-hand with my PM, which impressed me. He was pretty impressed by the research I'd done (Thank all of you.....) . SO, i'll be going back to him for the next little while, hopefully I'll get some relief this way. For those in the mid-south, its the Cole Pain Therapy Group.

Doc has some pretty good credentials- president of the Federal Chrio Licensing Board, pushed for strict licensing standards (helped write a state law), AND..... they give complete transcripts of the visit to the referring doctor.

[Edelweiss]

thank alison for her long answer.
Here it is ofte the same: the doctors are specialized and in their domain they are excellent but they forget the human beeing behind the medical term.

My way from one doctor to the next to find out TOS was a long one and I am though so I am ready to make a new doctors-ralley to find out why my tendons are tearing.

Thanks again for the support!
I will write later again - don`t have so much time now.

All the best for you,
Barbara

[Edelweiss]

Hello again,
it`s better now - as I am at work, I had to cut my first post.....

Only want to add to my first post, to answer alison`s question, if my shoulder doc knows about TOS: yes he does, but he also says, that we are miles away from the TOS region. This is not completely true as my upper body is very slim, but.....:cool:

Victoria, I hope you will soon find an answer!!!!

Dabbo, I am happy to read, that your chiro visit was so helpful! Hope you can get relief!!

Wish you an agreable afternoon (or whatever time it is over the ocean!)
Barbara

[LinJane]

Dabbosounds like you found a winner! Good luck. Just the idea of a chiro bothers me. Just like watching tennis or golf on tv. It pains me. Put it sounds like you found a good doctor!

[LinJane]

Victoria And once again, I'm sorry guys, but the bra issue is a big deal. I Just went to Victoria Secret and got some really good expensive bras. I keep having to adjust the right strap because it keeps falling down. Obviously I droop my shoulder but it is annoying. And, once again, sorry guys, but I could probably go without one but I don't think that is practical after 4 kids! Around the house I try to do without. I am not sure of the answer. Dr. T. said a corset but for me that isn't necessary. Maybe just a strapless or sports bra. Sorry, too much information

[gibbrn]

Hi,

Bra's are a big issue lets start a thread! sorry guys....

Victoria

[Edelweiss]

just want continue our Today I thread!!!

I hope it is a good day for everyone and I send very nice greetings to you all!!!
Barbara

[johannakat]

hi barb!

hey maybe we should pull up the old bra thread, too?

I am suffering today, not really sure why, just everything feels extra tender. :(

[LinJane]

Hey everybody. I don't know why I'm having a bad day but lots of pain. Neck, shoulder, shoulder blade and right arm. So sick of it.

[JAMY]

I don't thing I have ever posted on this threat but today I figure I will... :)

I am battling wicked headaches, neck pain, arm pain etc...I went back to physio yesterday and it just took a toll on me I guess. Tomorrow I go for an ins. examine for continuing physio treatments...fun fun :(

[Rachael]

Wish everyone a great weekend. I hope all those who have had surgery recently are feeling better and those of you who suffer daily have a half decent few days...
Also...I am friggin glad the week from heck is almost over and the wine is chilling for 5 pm tomorrow!!!

:winky:

Rachael

[johannakat]

Jamy- cranio-sacral work for those headaches...really, it SOOOOOOO helps. And no headaches makes EVERYTHING better!!!!

[JAMY]

Johannakat,

I have been going for Cranio-Sacral Massages/Treatments and had once yesterday. I haven't noticed a LOT of relief but then again due to how busy the therapist is the appointments haven't been overly consistant. But I am not giving up hope, yet!

I will be happy to see my neuro again in October...I am hoping he has some ideas. My neck seems to be one of my biggest bothers, there had been talk at one time of redoing my c-spine MRI but it was never done (one was done just weeks before I got rear ended).

[hairdresser]

Today I'm reviewing my whole case file from Worker's Compensation. I had an MRI of the cervical spine on August 17th. I was told by the Physiatrist that ordered the MRI that her secretary would call me for an appointment to discuss the results. Today reviewing my file I have discovered Worker's Compensation recieved the said report on August 23. Meanwhile, I haven't gotten the call yet. Even though I feel there has been no fairness with my case with Compensation I believed there would be some help from medical professionals to come up with some kind of plan to relieve pain. I've been told I have myofascial pain and an element of TOS, "but it's not my main problem". I am bitter, but I am so thankful for all the support of a wonderful husband, though not perfect loves me dearly, and for the support of my family and I am so grateful to my ToS family and to all the great friendships made through this forum.:grouphug::)

[HopeLivesHere]

hi Victoria,

i just answered withmore's post and came here to see yours.
it seems lots of us are having a hard time right now.
i am having a huge flare and am also not feeling sociable.
"this too shall pass" i'm waiting for that day.
i want to feel better so bad...doing nothing helps me.
Hope

[DDayMBB]

I, am sorry to neglect everyone here and not address all since my last post,but I have fallen so far behind my arm would fall off!!! Sure you all know this is not like me to do this, in fact I think this is/or may be the first or second time that I have done so... I have been lurking and have typed here and there on othere threads, but have not been able to do so much... been in a bit of a flare after my last Drs appointment, and it was with Dr T., I was showing off and over stretched by my own doing and paid for it!!!!

I was wondering if anyone has purchased a shoulder abduction splint/sling and if so, where did they get it online or a med supply store

Victoria, Johanna is correct on the old BT forum there was a Bra thread maybe Jo or somebody could revieve it over to here... and not a problem I never had the urge to wear one myself, though do do feel around for any hard lumps or things that do not belong as my dad had a pre-cancerous lump removed and think this needs to be stessed more to all males as macho as they want to be

hairdresser.. workers comp. is not for the employee, it is a true shame the hell they put you through I reached a point that I am done fighting them... I hurt physically and mentally and do not need the added agrevation...I put all my fight into SSD, knowing that my TOS/RSD cervical disc disease will never get better

In csae if anybody was wondering about how my intrathecal pump (pain pump) is working, well it will be probably sometime in November before I reach the theraputic doseage so right now, I am still hostage to my oral pain meds and my RSD is creeping up my right leg from my toes feels like little Gremlins (Goobers nephews & neices) stabing away with ice pics!

Does anybody else have involuntary nerve jerks in thier arms? The worsre one was the other night in my sleep, I had the remote control in my hand (**a male thing ** ) and somehow my arm jerked and the remote flew into the headboard and woke both my wife and myself, VERY STARTLED!:confused:

Oh well, I typed way to much here all, and I do have to say it was very nice to see all the new visitors to the TODAY I thread as well as everybody else... just like coming home :grouphug:. I wish all a good weekend incase I do not post before:)

:cool: MARK~n~GOOBER:cool:

[LinJane]

Hey Markwas wondering where you have been. I get the involuntary jerks in my fingers. Especially while typing. I end up backspacing alot! Hope you get some relief from the pump.

Today I have too much going on. Son's first high school football game at 4. He's the starting center. Daughter's field hockey game at 5, a 1/2 hour away. Then, son has a dance at 7. Also, daughter has to be picked up around 9 this evening from a different game. Tomorrow is our neighborhood block party. Lots of fun. Usually around 100 people. Have to cook a casserole. We get a dj and beer, wine, hamburgers, hot dogs, it's a great time. So I do have that to look forward to.

Have a good one! Linda

[gibbrn]

I guess the change of seasons has been effecting us all in a negative way....or is it back to school with the Mom's and Dad's????? Working too hard and knowing what it will do to you but you continue???:Hum:

I myself am blessing my massage therapist. She did a hell of a massage on me and does muscle stripping and nerve mobilization for my whole right arm and as for the headaches I have had a significant reduction in them due to the work she did. She got rid of the knots at the base of my neck which are calmed down considerably and touch wood they will stay calm. I have not had the eye pressure or had to take a migraine med since. I feel much better and she did a lot of mobilization. It was amazing!!! Hurt a bit but it was well worth it.

So I am feeling better, but still not where I want to be. :rolleyes:

Take care all and chin up to the insurance companies that want to stick us in mud up to our eye balls.....they can bite me!!!!! sorry venting...thanks

love and hugs to all,
Victoria
P.S. I am now using my new COMPUTER no virus touch wood and I hope that it continues to be a good computer....is Vista so hope I can adapt to it.

Lots of love,
Victoria

[LinJane]

Victoria, you sound good. After a long day, I am going to get ready to get in bed. My son's football team won and also daughter's field hockey. Just alot of running around. My poor 4 year old had 3 shots at the doctors today. We were not prepared and she was very upset. Let's just say that if she was a child in the Monsters Inc movie, her scream would have powered the world for one year! I felt so badly I gave her a lolli pop right away, bought McDonald's on the way home, and then bought her cupcakes! She still has the three bandaids on her arms and won't let me take them off.

Have a good one, Linda

[DDayMBB]

Linda... I forget how many in your house hold you said are Eagles Fans, however but I see my boys weak as they may be they are this year were able to send them back to the city of brotherly love for a tune-up:D Linda, Your thread was very touching and the area you live in ... my thoughts can not form the word to put into words of comprehension from what I posted what touched me first hand!

Today, had the first of a few estimates for a new roof on my house, bid was 9,000 I would have been able to have done it with my brothers help for about 3,100 god do I hate these diseases!!!

I do hope everybody had a good safe and pain free weekend:)

Mark and soon to be exiled Goober:D

[dabbo]

Ok.... so the last few days have been painful, to say the least. shoulder and neck (scalene specifically) have been killing me. my arm responds to any stimulus, and feels like its on fire and drives me up the wall. I almost had about 3 total meltdowns at work today. SO, I finally call my PM doc today to try and get an appt.... he doesn't get in til 1pm today, so no appt, but the nurse told me I could go to the ER if I needed to (YEAH, right). I told the nurse that I was out of my breakthru med, and asked her to have it refilled- i'd pick up the Rx this afternoon. so.... 3:30, still MISERABLE, I walk into the dr office HOPING he'd see me, and 5 min later, they say there's nothing they can do, that I should go to the ER. I went to the ER checked in at 3:45..... and waited. miserably. they call the on-call doc at the PM clinic and nobody called back until like 8pm. Luckily (I thought) it was MY doc who called..... I guess nobody in his fking office gave him the message or told him that I was there today because all he said was continue taking his meds and call in the morning. I ALREADY DID THAT TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !! so pissed off right now..... grrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Peg24]

Oh my, you had a bad day dabbo. Bless your Heart! I hope you get some relief soon!

Peggy

[johannakat]

oh dabbo, sorry :(

you should tell your doc you need to run with a surplus if you are prone to running out like this, or that he has GOT to be more responsive!! You called on a weekday, in the morning, and then followed what the office said to do...not cool! BE sure to tell him exactly what happened today when you do finally see him.

[redjpwranglergirl]

Mark,
I have the involuntary jerks in my arms too and also when I'm asleep or just falling asleep. I've woke myself up numerous times. One time it happened when I was in the hospital and I hit my hand really hard on the bed rails and it pulled the IV out.:eek: I don't know what causes this though- I don't have the problems with my arms that many of you here do, so I don't know....

[DDayMBB]

Dabbo, I thought you got that whole mess sorted out and your PM said to conatact hime direct that he would take care of your pain needs.

Red, I have no idea what causes the jerks, but yes they will wake me out of a deep sleep also, in a a way glad, though sorry to hear that I am not the only one that has this happen.

[gibbrn]

Hi I have had a night and day from the pits of hell.

I had a migraine yesterday afternoon after spending over three hours on the phone with the four letter work computer company AGAIN there is a problem with my computer and it needs fixed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Due to this being on the cpu for so long....I ended up with a hellish migraine. I took my axert twice so only allowed to take two within 24hrs due to heart side effects.

I am therefor having to rely on my other meds. I have taken percocet and diazepam. After my DH was on the phone with me as I told him I was ready to go to Emerg and wanted to die....he told me that there are new studies that say that diazepam is good for migraines and that it shows some good results in decreasing pain and getting rid of the headache....

well I took and extra axert....ahhh it's only my heart and took a double dose of diazepam and I still feel crappy and likely won't shower today but I am able to be here with ya'll. I am not right yet....still can't see properly from my right eye.

Just called MT and hope like the dickens that she will be able to fit me in as I am in AGONY I know it is my neck causing my pain as the last massage helped for a week so I may have to have weekly massages...ah at $95.00 a week for 1.5 hours.....but she is amazing....What is money if you are having good pain relief.

I am not able to cope with head pain as well as the pain everywhere else. If I lose the abiltiy to think I am not able to function....is anybody???

I have had a lot of moments this week saying I can't live anymore. I can't function well like this I want out and away from it all....a break a way to be out of it all.....yeah waiting a year for my pain clinic.....not appropriate. I want to know how many people kill themselves waiting for pain relief. I dont' want to be a statistic. I say this is what I want to do but don't think I will. I have no thoughts of how to do it.....but did tell Marc yesterday I would take a pile of pills and then he can take me to the er and say he found me like that .....and maybe then I could get into the pain program.

Marc tried to get me into the pain program faster by talking to the head of the cancer center he works at and the doc at the Pain program the head of the center talked to stonewalled him so nobody gets a way into the program faster...good I guess but again how many live past the year wait mark!!!

Thanks for the vent guys.....I feel great affection for all of you and thank you all for your support and affection over the last five years!

Love to you all,
Victoria

[Jo*mar]

:grouphug::grouphug: soft hugs for all :grouphug::grouphug:

I hope this isn't a indication of how winter will affect everyone:(
I wish a miracle breakthrough soon for all of you.

[astern]

Poor Victoria. I saw the double-low over canada and was wondering how you were dealing with that. It's supposed to slide into the US... I start aching here in the South when Low systems move near the MidWest (go figure?). I hope it loosens it's grip on you soon. Hang on Girlfriend!!

:hug:

hoping everyone is holding on, too!
:grouphug:

[hairdresser]

Victoria; I hope your message therapist can work some magic on you soon. Don't ever give up hope, I'm praying for you.:hug:

[gibbrn]

Well,

thank God for diazepam it has settled things for now....thank you all for your well wishes! :grouphug:

I will see my MT tomorrow and she hopefully will work miracles!! Not weather I don't think....house is warm....

thanks agian
love to all,
Victoria

[butterfly123]

Today I....found some "old faces" from a long long time ago....

I hope to "see you around" and hope some of you remember me....and to those who don't, I hope you are having an excellent evening...
Butterfly

[DiMarie]

HI Butterfly,
So good to read you...Been so long. How are you feeling? Whats' the updates of family. Didn;t you move?
Hugs :hug:
Di

Been missing everyone, just resting the brain and planning the trip with sons family to Disney in Oct.
Trying to heal...

[redjpwranglergirl]

Today I....found some "old faces" from a long long time ago....

I hope to "see you around" and hope some of you remember me....and to those who don't, I hope you are having an excellent evening...
Butterfly

Hi Butterfly,
Nice to see you here! How are things going for you? I'm sure you must be done with nursing school by now- so are you working fulltime as a nurse?

[dabbo]

Better now... your right Mark - we had reached a solution..... then I didn't get my breakthru med refilled in time. I saw my PM yesterday, and we discussed what happened. The nurses put a note IN my chart, and didn't tell him that I stopped by the office....so when the ER doc called, that was the first he heard of it. anyways.... had a good visit w/ him yesterday. changed up some meds, so hopefully things will calm down.

anyways... I hope all of you that had surgery are feeling better.

[butterfly123]

Hi Di and Redjp:
For starters....Di, what happened to your daughter? If you don't feel comfortable sharing, I understand. I don't want to rehash pain....but please know that I am so, so, so unbelievably sorry for your loss. My heart hurts for you.
Red...nice to see you again too. Yes, working full time as a nurse for a Catholic based hospital...big organization. I'm really happy as I am a resource/float nurse. So I go to the different clinics to work. And it's nice because working resource if I need a day off, I just say I can't work that day and it doesn't count against me. But I also have benefits for me and the kids, and it's come in handy, as they're in football...injuries, plus flu season, ear infections, you name it. And now I can get my botox treatment for my dystonia. It's spread to my pec muscles and hurts so much...but when I'm working at least I'm not thinking about it too much.
The kids are doing well. I've divorced, and the kids and I were in a bad way about this time last year...had to be on foodstamps, almost had my van repossessed, visited food pantries, took back pop cans for gas money to get to clinicals.......it really was a living nightmare. But we got through it, through the grace of God, and are now doing much better and are quite happy. Thanks for asking about us.
Please update me too on your lives....it's been so long.
Take good care,
Butterfly

[Jo*mar]

Butterfly!!!
I thought you must have dropped off the face of the planet- great to hear from you again:D.
sorry about the divorce though, but glad to hear you and kids are doing Ok.

[butterfly123]

JoJo!!!
So GREAT to hear from you too.
I swear I didn't drop from the planet, per se...I just went to the moon for a while...
How have you been feeling? I've been reading the posts "bras" because that is something both myself and my mom are in the market for.....for her, her problem is hyatal (sp?) hernia....stomach is pressing against diaphragm, poor surgical candidate (they won't touch her with a ten foot pole), and well....a good bra is hard to find.
You are still landscaping it looks like from your sig.....beautiful!
Well I plan to keep in touch for as much as I can....I look forward to your update, yes?
Butterfly

[phoebe]

Hi there stranger! I've often wondered about you and so glad to hear things are going well for you. So sorry for the past troubles, but glad it's in the past. Keep in touch with us if you can. :) phoebe (pbj - phoebejane)

[phoebe]

Are ya'll drenched down there? Thinking of you. :) phoebe

[redjpwranglergirl]

Are ya'll drenched down there? Thinking of you. :) phoebe

Hi Phoebe,
Thanks for asking about us. Would you believe we got very little rain from the hurricane?! The weatherman said today that this was the fastest, on record, that a tropical depression turned into a hurricane. Yesterday at noon it looked like it was coming right at us but by last night it had taken a more easterly turn and while it went in not that far from us, we were on the "clean" side and got a little wind and sprinkles of rain. We lucked out this time.

[DDayMBB]

Butterfly, PBJ,Jo, Red and Di... it seems like the old BT *CREW* Butterfly that is great to hear about getting through your nursing program! I reaaly do not know how you did it and are able to handle patients my respect truly goes out to you, great to also hear that the family is doing well !

Dabbo... is there anyway for you to try and plan three days ahead on your break through pain meds? Just because you have them does not mean you are going to take them until they are needed and it seems as though you have to take alot of unexpected trips so a little buffer would be nice, riding even short distances kills me!!!

Just wondering if anybody has heard from or how Curious, Dawn, Shelley, Dolfinz are doing ???

Until our paths cross again may all be trouble free ... Mark and hopefully soon to be exiled Goober:cool:

[phoebe]

Did I hear something about Goober's nieces and nephews moving in? I hope not. :) :eek: phoebe

[gibbrn]

Hi Butterfly,

soooo nice to see you here. Hope you stick around for a while:hug:

Well got to the MT today and she worked her magic then another two.five hours on the phone with the computer techs at the four letter word place....ok cpu going back money coming back.....lol as if...perhaps I'll sell it on ebay.......then Car broke down then had to be towed to auto place think it is clutch....ekkkk and hope that not too much else is wrong with it. pray pray pray........so cpu, car, my body anything else...oh yeah comp and work.....my life sucks thank God for you guys and my man and my kitty.......not necessarily in that order....lol
I need some huge hugs right now want to cry just can't and I have never had a problem n that dept before....usually other way around....

ok vent over....much love to you all

love and hugs, :grouphug:
Victoria

[astern]

Vic, I see we have the same strategy: throw Valiums at it until it stops.

:hug:
Prayers coming your way for things to STOP BREAKING!!!

[tshadow]

Mark! I have missed you! Goober, go away!!!!!!!!!

I have moved, and now have internet again - yayayay - been many months since I've been able to check in and say "hi" to everyone.

Moving has been a real TRANSITION as a TOSer...it poses a lot of its own challenges, but I made it, lived through it, got through a lot of sadness about the move (I loved my home), and trying to be grateful for the new place (desert area)...(very hot)...

Are there ANY TOSers out in the So. Cal. desert?

I am so excited now to catch up on everyone...so I'll be around and ready to listen...

Love to all...Tam:grouphug:

[astern]

welcome back Tam! I hope you'll be able to report that the desert climate is helping with the TOS pain!
:hug:

[Curious]

mark must be missing my 1722

1723 :D enjoy!

thank you for thinking about me. :hug:

high pain levels keep me from sitting and posting. i tend to spend more time reading them all. :p busy with the kids in school. running back and forth between 2 districts.

[gibbrn]

hi Tam,

I soooo hear you about the move issues...mine was in May to Calgary and it is still hellish for me!! I am still flared but my key is a good MT who can also do nerve stripping and neck muscle myofacial stuff that is amazing.....but the pain goes on.....

So glad to see you are in nice warm place....sorry to hear you missing the old place. I feel that too.....:( however I would move 10 times more if I could have the heat of the desert not the cold of Calgary!!!!

Speaking of So Co.....I will be coming to LA in early November....so if we can have a tos party it would ROCK. Marc has a conference and I am tagging along with not so much to do in the day while he has is thing to do......so Party please!!!! Sea Pines knows so now ya'll do......but let's do something guys!!!


Love and hugs,
Victoria:hug:

[johannakat]

early november, eh? maybe we could do it at my place?

[gibbrn]

dates for being in LA are Last week in October 28 to November 4. marc will want to do things like go sightseeing with me and we will be booking some trips with his conference....american society of therapeutic radiology for those nerdy Radiation oncologists who we all could not live without should we get cancer....:rolleyes:

so not sure what days he will want to do things but....if we make plans then we can tell him to work around us???? hopefully we can get something going....Seapines????? are you there my pal???? pipe in pls!!!

love and hugs,
Victoria:hug:

[johannakat]

I can do weekdays, how does anyone else local feel about that? Otherwise Nov 3 is the only weekend day.

Victoria, how long until you will know your schedule?

[tshadow]

I am not sure how I would come, but I would like to come...would like to know when / where so I could try.

The benefits of meeting other TOSers in person is very important. Immediately you can feel we all have TOS...a unique confirmation that we have not been crazy.

Plus, all of the TOSers I have met so far have been really nice women, funny, smart and great friends. A very special group. (We also have husbands or boyfriends along - but no male TOSers yet...)

(We should fly Mark out!) :hug:

If we know the date ahead of time, hopefully we could band together for rides, or train, or whatever to somehow make it.

P.S. The hot, dry, desert air (110*), seems to make TOS better. I have walked my dogs, done the pool, and my home aide has not yet been arranged. I have had some hard days, but still, less disabled slightly and slightly less pain. Interesting. Will keep all posted on Desert / TOS. :eek:

[Shelley]

Yay Vic I'm in lets gets do it. Johanna I will help. We could also try to do at my place but its a little small but lost of stairs. :( We'll figure it out!

Wow Tam you moved? Pm me where in the desert? I am so glad that you made it through. :hug:

Hey Mark I am still here. Still recovering from thryoid surgery. Has been up and down but now staring to feel better. All that inflammation in the neck area made it worse for a while. But I am really beginning to think this has helped.

:grouphug: for the room.

[Sea Pines 50]

hi, i'm chiming in as requested - been trying to stay off the computer til either my armz or my brain came back, but since neither want to cooperate... here i are!!!:p general malaise, reporting for duty, sir!:cool:

victoria, i am so looking forward to your visit. any of those dayz works for me. (of course, i'm greedy and i want you for more than just 1 or 2!) and my home is open to any TOS'er who needs to come closer in to the LA metro area to get a good look at ya while you're here! (just let me know in advance so we can make sleeping arrangements...)

i was thinking you and marc might enjoy a trip out to catalina. lots to see there, and avalon is a wonderful example of an old CA beach town. the US navy owns much of the island, but a lot of it is open to the public. the old wrigley mansion, the catalina ballroom, the marina, lots of little shops and galleries... and you can rent glass bottom boats to do little shoreline excursions, even golfcarts to go off on your own up the hilly sides of the island. it's gorgeous. think there's an annual arts & crafts festival there at the end of oct. you would drive down to long beach and catch either a boat or a helicopter to take you out. the island's just a few miles offshore...

or ojai is nice - the inn does an incredible sunday brunch up there. about a 90 minute drive up the coast (and inland) from LA. or if you want to stay closer in there is always malibu, zuma and of course the beaches in santa monica. well, others will chime in, i'm sure with their favorites and more ideas for you guys.

the griffith park observatory might be of interest to science boy and his cohortz. they've done a remarkable job with the restoration and it's not too far from downtown, either. it was built in the 30's, i believe, so just the for the architecture alone and the history lessons you absorb about LA and hollywood the trip there is well worth it. if you go at night you get to use that extremely high-powered telescope to gaze at the starz (no charge, very romantic!).

and of course, we have to get a group together - if nothing else - to meet you downtown and dine at ciudad where my daughter works. it's at 5th & figueroa, very close to all the big old hotels and the convention centers, so probably within walking distance to where you and marco will be staying. i can get us the FOC'M discount! (Friends of Chelsea's Mom...;)) and the food is wonderful, panamerican style - muy rico. i think thurs. & fri. there's a little jazz quartet that plays al fresco out on the patio; i'll have to check on that...

as for this child -- i'm seeing a new doc, karliss ullis, whom i originally went to to get an rx for cranio sacral work... but i might just stick with him for a minute. he's ordered some bloodwork to test some amino acid and vitamin levels on me (he's a sports medicine and anti-aging specialist) -- has some interesting ideas about chronic pain and how it affects the brain, and not only that but what we can do about it by adding certain supplements and changing our diet. he told me that what the current research is showing is that being in severe pain for as long as someone like me has causes actual brain damage (g r e a t !!! more good newz!) and that that's why i am having so much cognitive difficulty - aside from the meds and the depression, which of course also play their part in this crazy dance. ain't life grand?:D

anyway, he knows shelley jordan very well... their offices are quite close to each other, in fact. i'm meeting with dr. jordan tomorrow and plan to discuss everything with him before proceeding... but for the moment, anyway, i am putting all plans for surgery on hold. i think that i was STUCK. but now i've made the decision to pursue alternative remedies more fully.

i just don't see how it's feasible to contemplate getting a complete scalentectomy right now. between chelsea's broken ankle and my TOS armz we are quiite the dysfunctional mother/daughter team at the moment, as you guys can well imagine... and she will be in that F'ing cast for another month. then she's gonna be working like mad to pay all the bills her STD didn't cover, we've got my birthday, gibb's visit, her birthday, turkey day, the goy holiday, new year's eve (hey! i can come up with any NUMBER of excuses - if you ever need some i have EXTRA!!!). i may go up north to see doc ellis, pick his brain about this. shelley fell through on that roadtrip last summer; that is why i am SO not speaking to her ever again.:thud:

but bottom line... i honestly don't know what another TOS surgery is gonna do for someone who has had this monster raging for as many years as i have. my pain levels are way sky high and i am not in any kind of physical shape to withstand going under the knife. i can't even think straight, it's so bad.

so until some of that is addressed i'm done cruising surgeons for the time being. when i pick it up again, i may look at dr. david kline in baton rouge, who specializes in gilliatt-sumner hand (i've got 2 of those suckers and i don't want to lose 'em!). or i may go with dr. ahn and check out the new ronald reagan hospital when it opens up in jan. who knows? maybe i'll write a song: who do 'de re-do, do you? woo woo .. shoo be doo

but i am so done with UCLA rehab services. wasn't getting anywhere with the OT or the PT over there, for whatever reason. i will let you guys know how the cranio sacral lady works (if i can get medicare to pay for it, that is!:eek:). and the bloodwork results should be interesting.

the other thing i want to talk to dr. jordan about is, exactly how close the letter of FDA approval is for chronic pain patients to start receiving the new recurrent transmagnetic stimulation therapy using generated fields. (it's like electroshock therapy, only far, far more refined and less destructive to the brain.) i remember he was pretty excited about this at one point, at it was looking pretty close! i'll be shocked if it works. hahaha

i will probably see the energy healer 1 or 2 more times and then $ will dictate that i stop. sadly. but anything else that doesn't involve surgery or prescription meds... i am all over it if it helps the pain or suffering of TOS.
either one! this has been going on since '75; can it PLEASE stop anytime soon? anybody? short of permanent solutionz, that is of course...

OK, so much for trying not to post such long-winded replies. what the heck is up with that? and you guys probably didn't even notice i was gone...*sigh*

enjoy your sunday, everybody, and gibb - i am counting the dayz, my little canuck friend! travel safe. don't pack anything that requires ironing!:rolleyes:

alison
"Be Brave"

[Shelley]

Hehehehehehe I am in a wicked and rambunctious mood today so my replies are mostly for Sea Pines...I have learned all of my sarcasm from her anyway

Sheesh stay off the computer???...you write the longest posts ever. :wink:Thank god though because its atleast carrying me through till the new TV season starts and I have something to watch.

Hmmm you never opened your home to me...afraid I might stay huh :)

28th or the 4th....that Kitkat Johanna has never been good with math...darn scientists ;)

Catalina is pretty...oooo art fair? Take the helo that boat made me :thud::confused2::Sinking:

Zuma rocks!!! Dont swim in the beaches at Santa Monica...you will get more things wrong than we all already have :eek: But walk the promenade in Santa Monica...cuz its close to me and i'll come with ya.

There is always that shooping mecca...no not Bev Hills but South Coast Plaza in the OC. And its close to Newport which is pretty. And you have to go to Laguna Beach one of my fave places.

And do we dare forget San Diego. Come on I want to go to legoland! Howbout the San Diego zoo?

Griffith park is awesome and that observatory is so cool.

Oh yeah Ojai is nice. Someone say brunch? :Starvin: I'm in! Also good brunch in Laguna at St Regis...Godiva pancakes. Yum! I think godiva pancakes might be considered alyternative medicine Alison. Lets go get some!

I'm in for cuidad. Love discounts even if hubby doesn't believe I ever buy anything on sale.

Ok I want to hear more about Dr Ullis. Pm me will ya.

Not speaking to me again because of the roadtrip. Rats I deserve that one. I think it was all Johanna...we were waiting for her weren't we and then she goes and schedules 2 surgeries back to back. Yep I am innocent, its all Kit Kat. I'm betting you can't NEVER speak to me again. I dare ya. nah nah nah nah nah. :p

I just saw shelly jordan last week. Said I was doing better and then asked hey whats that scar from? I said that one is the thryoid surgery we discussed and the other is the surgery from Dr Filler. :mad: But he is just so cute ya cant stay mad. anyway I told him that my thumb and first finger are going numb on and off and he said stay off the computer like Alison (right) and then gave me Rx for wrist splints. Thinks its carpal tunnel. Fun!

Anyway Alison I know we both have crushes on him but he totally likes me better. He told me. Wait is Dr Ullis cute? I am toally cruising all your docs.

Hmmmmm I can give you some electroshock therapy...now come on come closer...closer...and just stick you finger in this thing in the wall :rolleyes: (Shelley rolling onthe floor cracking up!...:Thats-Funneh::ROTFLMAO:)

Ok you made me so hungry that I made hubby make brunch....I am evil today. :D

:grouphug: for all. Can't wait to see ya Vic! We'll have fun pickign on Alison!

[johannakat]

you guys are a laugh riot today :)

sorry i thought if oct 28 and nov 4 were travel days they probly wouldn't be all that good for a meeting.

i am tired and my fingers hurt, so i won't say much more. we can totally do my house, though, as long as it isn't the 31st, as my kids will demand a bunch of my attention that day.

off for some late night ice cream

Johanna

PS, i never said i wouldn't go to dr ellis....i am just not ready yet ;)

[Shelley]

Hey Kit Kat

I am having some ice cream too. :D

Alison you were right....Johanna is smarter than us and was thinking they were travel days. Darn scientists.

J can I come for trick or treating? I bet its fun with your kids. They are adorable.


Well I think we should replan Dr ellis and some wine country for the new year.

:hug:

[JAMY]

Okay Victoria, I am totally jealous you are going to LA!!! I need some nicer weather (didn't you guys get snow last week? My BF was out in Edmonton and was telling me...one of these days I should tag along with him and then we could head down to see you guys?!)... I am hoping to head out to Vegas in late Oct/early Nov. Have fun out there - send a post card! :) heehee

Me - I am off to a new lawyer tomorrow (Thanx Vic) and just dealing with pain. Ins Co. annoy me...dealing with too many of those dum-dums. I am sore and started PT again on my own dime as I was feeling how fast I was loosing all the effects of the PT in just the two weeks I missed it. Can only afford one treatment a week but it is better then nothing.

Hope everyone is doing well...

[Jo*mar]

Of course we missed you Alison- just didn't want to make you feel like you had to reply by asking about you.
I know you were trying to limit pc time.

It's good to see ya'll joking and being silly - made me laugh!
we need to have some more fun and goofy posts like that
- laughter is good for the soul {and body} right??:cool:

[johannakat]

Trick or treating in our neighborhood is a hoot, anyone who likes can come on down. People go way out here...all the houses are decorated, lit, and have spooky sounds coming out of them (i just got Martha stewarts spooky CD from the library for my own preparations...!) and there are usually 2-3 haunted house set ups in a three block radius.

I really enjoy it, myself :)

[Shelley]

I'm there! Trick or Treat :eek:

[dabbo]

I may be up for travelling to LA, since I have found myself with a whole helluva lot of free time (effective today). By free time I mean no longer employed .... arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh. But hey! My daughter is walking more and more, so trick or treating will be fun with her. And now I can spend more time with her.

anywho... hope all are doing well!!

[Jo*mar]

Dabbo,
Off work due to medical reasons, downsizing or laid off??
what happened?
:grouphug:

[johannakat]

oh dabbo, please do tell us what is up?

[gibbrn]

but yeah why....hope it was your choice...which is hard to do....had to do it so know the pain in the mind...the having to give up the job...I was in love with mine....so hope you are ok....

love and hugs,
Victoria:hug:

[dabbo]

thank ya'll for the concern..... I've sensed something was afoot for quite a while no so it wasn't a total shock today, but they laid off quite a few people today, both in my office and elsewhere. So..... I'm going to take a few days to clear the cobwebs out of my head, spend time with my wife and daughter and then I'll start really looking for a job. I'm trying my best to turn this into a good change. Tho I'm pretty sure it hasn't fully hit me yet. :eek:

:grouphug:

[ozzy14]

Hey dabbo, sorry to hear about your job loss. I too lost my job last week. I was sent to a government dr who informed my employer that I couldnt return to my pre-injury duties therefor should be sacked (could only work 6 - 8 hours per week). AHHH thats what 11 dedicated years gets you. Oh well life goes on. Ozzy

[Jo*mar]

Hope you both are able to work out things OK on the financial part.

The emotional too- it's always a bit of a shock.

In my situation {04} I was sent back to work as a "test" to see if I could return to full "duties??" or not.
I lasted 2.5 months - having to add more and more restrictions until they said they could not accommodate me anymore! But I wasn't surprised - I knew it would happen sooner or later.
I knew it was best for me anyway { I was hurtin again:(} and I got to say my goodbyes to my coworkers and buddies before leaving so it worked out good for me.

[Jo*mar]

Oh in case anyone missed it on the Calendar thread -

We have our own TOS forum NT Calendar now.
Right here on the forum!!

To find it click the Calendar button up in the blue bar above
{if default theme}

scroll down to the bottom right, it will say Calendar Jump - click the drop down to find - TOS Calendar.

and there ya go.

OR
here is the link-
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/ca...r=2007&do=&c=2

[Sea Pines 50]

i wanted to say how sorry i am to hear the news. even if you know it's coming, or somehow sense that something's in the wind... i think it's always a shock to the system.

so dabbo and ozzie, i want you both to be extra good to yourselves right now. very likely the other shoe hasn't hit the floor yet and when it does, this may hit you kinda hard. draw close those loved ones, especially the cute little cuddly ones around you. don't forget to giggle. take d e e p breaths, lotz and lotz of them, it really helps.

hell. whether the reason behind it is corporate downsizing or an inability to accommodate our medical limitations it really doesn't matter - the end result is the same. we're out of a j.o.b. at the end of the day. this just plain sucks.:mad:

and for a TOS'er, the loss of the ability to work i think hits below the belt on a profound level - even short-term - because my theory at least is, deep down we are all a bunch of friggn' workaholics, which is part of what got us in this condition to begin with! that fierce work ethic, i mean-:eek: (why we bristle when someone accuses us of being malingerers!!)

i know both of you will be OK. it is their loss, after all. hopefully, you both received some type of 'severance' package that will cushion things financially just a bit. but expect a normal grief reaction when the shock wears off - i sure got hit with that one hard, and i know others on this forum will tell you the same thing. i didn't recognize it for what it was for a long, long time.:confused:

plan for it if you can by lining up support in whatever form it's available to you (you know you best and your own situations, obviously - employment counseling, pain psychologist, certainly unemployment bennys filed ASAP for dabbo and i would think proper W/C remedies for ozzie down under [?!])

my last employer (a multi-national conglomerate) was so kind and compassionate about my disability leave (NOT!), you guys... the head of my division called me at home about 8 weeks into it to tell me so sad, too bad about my injury - but not to bother coming back, they were offering my job to someone else for less pay and no bennys. christ, i was in so much pain - and this was right after samantha was taken, mind you - i didn't even fight them, just said fine, send me the paperwork, it's been swell knowin' ya - toodles!

huge mistake, i now realize. i should have held their feet to the fire and at least gotten a decent settlement outta the bastards - i had worked my F'ing **** off for them for many years and done a hell of a job, too, if i do say so myself. but that was 5 years ago now. i need to get over it and i need to move on to bigger and better things. *sigh* (that division closed down within 6 months, BTW... ha! guess it couldn't run w/o moi--:rolleyes:)

maybe if i had gotten some help processing what was happening to me at the time, i would not have stayed stuck for so long. something like this can really affect your self-esteem. not to mention, your pain levels and other TOS sx... although hey! i'll bet it's gonna feel GREAT to have a break for awhile and to finally have the time in your dayz to take wonderful care of yourselves for a change. enjoy that! come over to my house, i have your roomz ready!:D

DAMN THE MAN!!

ONWARDS & UPWARDS!!!

so say i.

i encourage you both to talk about this with people who will listen (including your forum family-:D:cool::confused:-) as feelings come up - writing is a very cool way to process them, so post on here if you feel safe doing that, or maybe keep a journal... let us know how everything works out. i know better things are on the horizon... that is one thing for sure. F 'em if they can't take a joke (to quote from the '60's [my era]))!!

and hey, dabbo needed a break from all that computer work, anyway. i was getting worried about him in that department (yes, pot calling kettle black - shut up!;))

i only wish i knew a really nasty aussie mouthpiece who specialized in handling claims like yours, oz. something stinks to high heaven, here. i hope you hit them where they live. bless their cold, cold corporate heartz:p

this is only on half a cup of coffee...

can you imagine?

WTF?!?!

alison
"Be Brave"

[dabbo]

LOL Alison! Your right... I needed some sort of break from being on the computer all day (pot....meet kettle) :D So, step 1 today was take Eva to school. Step 2 was go to the unemployment office and apply for my unemployment insurance benefit. Step 3 was/is to try and find a short-term insurance solution for Heather and Eva - other than COBRA...since COBRA is out-the-a#$ expensive....preferrably not TennCare, but we shall see.

[Jo*mar]

Eeesh for sure- ya ever wonder why the acronym is COBRA- it's a snake alright - when I looked into it in 03? it would have been over 300.00 just for me - forget that.
I was able to move on to hubby's medical due to not working/family status changes. whew.

[ozzy14]

Thanks guys. I am really enjoying my kids and quiet time when they are at school / work. Financially its guna be a strain but we'll manage. Time for that coffee break............and hey I can take as long as I want! ha ha ha.

[tshadow]

When I first moved to PS (around the 1st) the pool was HOT and so I started going in with a swim board...and I swear, my symptoms went down, down, down...well, sort of up a little, but then down the next AM, etc.

Then they turned the heater off, so I can't go in at all.

And now my symptoms are soooo high. I am at the 10 level for days now...it's excruciating. Can't talk on the phone...or stand it.

Does anyone else do pool? How do your muscles stand the cool water?

Today I moaned in pain...

[JAMY]

Tam - I have attempted pools (at rec centers) a few times. More often then not I ended up in the 'hot pool' (like a hot tub without being as hot) and that is where I stayed...like you my symptoms went WAY down. I did go to a waterfit class on Monday and surprisingly the pool was VERY warm...there was none of that shock getting into the pool and it went surprisingly well (was pretty sore later on in the evening but it was an easy way to get some exercise...and I can keep the arm stuff to a minimum if I want/need to). I know I would not want to go into a pool that was cooler then the one I went to on Monday - I am not sure what the city keeps their temps at but this seems to be a newer facility and as I said it was very very comfortable!

I have wanted to get a hot tub at home...doesn't look like it will happen this year though... :(

Speaking of pools - now if I could only find a good bathing suit that is easy to get in and out of and the straps didn't fall down all the time!

[Jo*mar]

Tam does the place have a hot tub or sauna?
sometimes they are set too hot though:(
Hot shower or bath??
Will those help you?

[tshadow]

Yes, HOT too hot tub...

And I think it was the exercise of the pool, kicking my legs, doing leg lifts at the side, and easy slow stretches of arms in the pool...otherwise, I don't get any exercise as walking is brief due to heat. But that exercise I think moves the fluids around, healing other tissues...clearing out the right arm also...

thanks for the responses!

Back to couch...:(

[Jo*mar]

Possibly even just the pressure from being the water that might have been of benefit. Thinking of the light lymph massage pressures, the water pressures and slight movements might do a similar action.
- too bad the hot tub is too hot and the pool heat is off now:(

[DDayMBB]

Yes, HOT too hot tub...

And I think it was the exercise of the pool, kicking my legs, doing leg lifts at the side, and easy slow stretches of arms in the pool...otherwise, I don't get any exercise as walking is brief due to heat. But that exercise I think moves the fluids around, healing other tissues...clearing out the right arm also...

thanks for the responses!

Back to couch...:(

Tam, I go to swim therapy and the pool temp is a constant 90 degrees F though there are time that I have just gotten a foot or so in and had to turn around and gotten right out... Damm CRPS migrated down into my right leg and even the water hurts, I dread winter having to wear long pants.. than again between the pump and oral meds hopefully things will be under control shortly :cool:

My best to everyone

And to Linda Jane How about them Packers.... wreaked havaoc 2 weekends in a row in your household:D

Dabbo my friend better days ahead !

[tshadow]

Mark,

THAT was what I was wondering - yes, just a toe in, and it's like WHAM - too cold!!! Can't do it!!! And I think the fact that the temp has to be just "so" is due to nerve damage and a lessened ability to withstand any changes in temp other than mild.

I am writing the association to consider heating it up...

[redjpwranglergirl]

Dabbo,
I'm so sorry to hear about the job.:( I hope something comes along for you that's great- better pay, better benefits, better everything!

On another note, today I found out that my high school friend, who is dying of cancer, is back in the hosp. with pneumonia and is too weak to take his treatment. He has also broken out with some kind of blood blisters all over him....My neck is really hurting tonight but after I heard that I'm ashamed to even complain about it.

[Edelweiss]

say "hello" to my dear extended family.

I am sorry for dabbo for the loss of your job. maybe the new one will be better and you can see this situation as a chance and not as a fail.
I keep my finges crossed for you!!

To jo, mark, tam, red,.......I hope that things are going better for you all!

From my life I can tell you I am still on the research to my shoulder problem: as you know, I had surgery in may and in august the reconstructed subscapularis-tendons teared again. my problem: this is a main stabilisator (?) on the front side of the shoulder and the next possibility to fix it is called pectoralis major tendon transfer. and there is the problem: as I already suffer from TOS we know that my claviclua-region is very small and so there is a big risk to squeeze an important nerv (don`t know the name).

today I will see the vascular surgeon and maybe he can explain the anantomical facts between TOS and the pectoralis major.

So far my news!
I will write more often the next week!
Very nice greetings and all the best
Barbara

[LinJane]

DabboI don't pay attention to Giants. We usually only watch Cowboys and Philly. My son was crushed when Wahington beat Philly the other night. Thats ok, my husband keeps winning the football pool. Since 5 out of the 10 people in the pool are in my family its great. I don't have to dish out any money! My kids surely don't pay!

My son's freshman team won 46to 7 last friday. Great game. He plays again tomorrow. They have a great team. Younger sons team isn't as good but he's having a great time. This is my favorite time of year. daughter does field hockey so we are everywhere! Plus, 4 year old ballet! Have only 5 more minutes of quiet then off to work. My office manager called in sick. I have someone covering phones now but I have to go back in. My husband kept me awake half the night last night, no joke! His shoulder is still killing him from surgery and he had the tv on. he was up until 3 and I get up at 6. I was mad. I shouldn't have been but he can sleep late, I can't. He brought my daughter to the office for me but let her dress herself. Ladies, you know that means I had to bring her home to change her outfit. He also let her brush her hair. He did try. Sorry for venting but we all know how that goes. Oh well. Here comes the bus! bye! Linda.

[gibbrn]

Hope all is well....

I am still having cpu issues using Marc's now......so have taken it to (huge stroke of luck on this connection) my massage therapists husband!!! He does huge jobs usually so this should be easy for him to do. He is super nice as is she. I am hoping to get it back tonight. I hope that it is healed and all better!!!

I want to comment on this quote by Red......"My neck is really hurting tonight but after I heard that I'm ashamed to even complain about it."

I think that you do have a reason to complain. We all have our issues and some are bigger than others. No you are not in the same predicament as your friend however you are a person who deals with a real chronic problem that is also debilitating. you have as much reason to complain. Remember the invisible disabilities advocate information.
http://www.myida.org/
...you have days when you can't do anything right?? Days when you can't be yourself or even want to be......???? So we too have things to complain about....just at the right time and place....in front of your friend who is not doing well is not a good place....but at home to yourself yes you do have the right to complain....no you don't have cancer and won't die from tos unless you have a horrific vascular issue and vascular tos.....aside from that you will have to live with this FOREVER so we do have a right it is just a time and place thing.....

Sorry for the long winded post.....just wanted to make a point.....

love and hugs to all....:grouphug:
Victoria

[redjpwranglergirl]

Gibbrn,
I don't know how to take your post but if I had to make a judgment, I'd say it sounded a bit chiding. All I was saying is that after hearing what this man has been going through, there is no way I could or would complain about my neck because compared to him, well....there's no comparison. It was not directed at you or anybody else on here. That's just the way I am and the way I think and the way I feel, as anybody who's been on these forums while I've been here should know about me. I think I've been more than supportive to you and many other people here but frankly I'm tired of stating the way I feel about something on here, particularly if it doesn't even apply to anybody here, and having people get touchy about it. Especially when they are all for having a place to voice their own opinions. Can't have it both ways. I've mentioned on here more than once that I'm not in as much pain as many here are but really, that doesn't even apply because my post was about a man dying of cancer and nothing else- no ulterior motives here. Compared to most here, I have nothing to offer, except support. But it's very tiresome to have to walk on eggshells because I might say something that somebody might decide they don't like. I've "met" alot of wonderful, kind people on here and made some good forum friends and I enjoy coming here and catching up with what all is going on with everybody but sometimes things just reach a point that you ask yourself why you still bother. Especially when you have to worry about every little thing you say setting somebody off. When other friends of mine left the forum I understood but tried to stick it out myself because it was worthwhile to me. But it's not worth it anymore- particularly if you only want to hear certain things or want to censor what's acceptable here. It's really tiresome and defeats the whole purpose of a forum that's supposed to welcome everybody and all opinions and view points. Best wishes to everybody, I hope you all find something or someone who can help your pain, but I think my time would be best spent somewhere else. I give up.

[phoebe]

I must speak about this. I do not mean, in any way to offend anyone, BUT I have found also that I can NEVER say something positive about much of anything, nor have I ever felt I could. Yes, this forum is for support, and I have offerred support many times, and sometimes tried to offer helpful hints which are usually ignored.

I wanted to come here and catch up with some people I have something in common with, without feeling badly if I say something like "but I feel so fortunate I'm not worse, or speak of a sick friend and say something like Red just did about hers (only being positive I think) without being criticized.

I don't understand. I just don't get it. I haven't felt the worst pain, I've always said that, I've offerred support lots of times. Why can those of us who are not in severe pain EVER say anything positive?????????

[johannakat]

As a totally neutral observer- i took vic's post only to mean that: even if you think your own problems are minor, you shouldn't feel bad about needing to complain about them once in a while.

Another interpretation would be: be kind to yourself if you need to complain, knowing that a quiet complaint now and then is healthy and normal.

I try to remember that myself, and keep my own complaining to a moderate, healthy level...you know, only once every 5 seconds or so...:)

[gibbrn]

Hi Red,

I in no way mean to belittle the horrors that your dear friend is going through. I am an ONCOLOGY NURSE. I have helped many people cope with this hell for over eight years. I know what cancer entails and have seen hundreds of people die. My support is based on these experiences.

I feel upset and frankly disenchanted that you would take this post as anything other than the support that I was offering.

My intention was well stated Johannakat.

I am merely stating that you do have a right to complain

Never is it my intention to do anything to hurt anybody this is not my style and never has been.

I was trying to be supportive in stating that you have all the rights in the world to do and feel what you normally do. When you have a friend in pain and dying then YES things are put into a different light.

I am sorry that you feel you are unable to comment on things herre. I feel very comfortable here and that I can say anything. I know that people will say what they will and I take all with kind words Unless an attack is clearly seen.

Hope you can read with an open heart and not read negative or assume negative where none was intended. I was merely trying to offer comfort and reaffirm your own pain is real as well as your friends.

Victoria

thanks to those who see that I am here to support only and would not intend harm to anybody.

[tshadow]

One thing that happens on these posts is that bare words have no inflection, no voice tone, no warmth or soft sounds...so they can be misinterpreted or heard in different ways...and all are possible given the different situations where one is at on that day, etc.

It's happened to almost all of us here. God bless all involved here.

I've read a post and taken offense and later read it and thought, "gee, I was off-base" and I've also written a post and seen why someone else got a different take, as I didn't come across as I meant to, or thought I was.

This is the "danger" of the post / email. Even letters don't seem to have this, as the personal handwriting, and perhaps time of it, seem to remove the incidents of misgivings.

Anyways, that's my take in general, not specific to any posts here. And I am not taking any sides or saying anything other than just that these posts can be misleading so everyone just remember that we love eachother, which IS evident to me in the WHOLE of the posts. Try everyone to take in our WHOLE posts and give us all the benefit that we're all good people here, especially the group we've got going for a very long time now, and our new friends, too. I hope this does not come off as a flare, which would not be the result I want.

To Dabbo:

I apparently read over your job situation, and I remember two years after I left due to the TOS I got "fired" when I asked why my Bar dues were delinquent. All of a sudden I had to COBRA my insurance, and I hadn't even gotten approval from the damned WC for surgery yet...

Needless to say, I felt betrayed by the company who's NEW software full of mousing, and my diligence in working my *** off resulted in TOS, rewarded me with no get well card and a very nice kick in the butt firing. It hurt like HELL in the old ego dept.

You're not a throw-away, and I feel a lot of hope that you may return to the work force some day. You are a vital man, full of things to give, and their "business" decision sucks. Living well and happy is the best revenge, and when I feel as I do right now, I have to remember that and find my personal happiness again. (I am saying that to me.) So charge on, my man!!!

[DDayMBB]

Red & PBJ, I can not really type that much at this time, but have to say that your voice is not only important here it is also welcome and has been missed... like I said it was almost like the old BT when the gang was all here:)! Unfortunately even there we all had spats and I do think pain does come into play with this... I know more than once I have typed something out of rage when feeling bad and regretted it later! For the most part I try take a deep beath and consider others feelings first, like I said it does not always come out that way and for that I am the 1st to appologize! God bless all ... can't type more Mark~n~Goober

[LinJane]

Today I... Hope everyone has a great day!! Remember we are all here for the same reason. Like it or not.

I don't like why I'm here but I like who I'm here with.

Linda:hug:

[tshadow]

Mark,

what is going on with you that you are doing so poorly? Only type when you can, but your post raises my concerns...

Did I miss something earlier???

I have had my head up my rear lately...

[Jo*mar]

I think they are still working to get the pump/meds combo tuned in for Mark, for the best pain coverage.

Is fall in the air for anyone else?
We've been having chilly mornings and the leaves are turning.

I'll try to get some nice fall photos soon- I got a great deal on a camera tripod so i can take steadier shots.
When you use the zoom it makes any camera movement show up more in the pictures, so this tripod should really help.

[hairdresser]

Hello everyone; Jo the air is getting cool here in New Brunswick. The leaves are pretty shades of red, yellow and orange. This week the weather has been great, warm fall days and cooler nights with frost. Today I decided to try some occupational therapy, I am cooking beets. I'll cook them today and finish them tomorrow by making the syrup and botteling them. It's alot of work but my family loves them. Nothing else will get done today, there is beet juice everywhere. HA! My sweat shirt is beige but today it's got lots of red on it. Best Reguards, Hairdresser

[gibbrn]

Oh how I am not impressed with the new city I am in....Calgary is much further north than southern area where I lived before.

It is 0 at nights and around 8-15 in the day....boooo hooooo:Sob::Bang-Head: I want my 26 in Ontario....ahhhhhh

anyhooo it is nice to get out the sweaters again....but I am not ready to wear socks yet and get the boots out...I am sooo a shoe girl it hurts I have so many pairs.....LOVE them.....

Hope all have a great weekend and pain levels are low so that there is enjoyment!!!

love and hugs to all,
Victoria:hug:

[LinJane]

Fall hasn't really hit us here in NJ. I actually have my air conditioning on! My daughter and I are going to visit a college in NY State on Friday near Syracuse. I have a feeling it will be a little chillier there. I'm looking forward to going away alone with my daughter.

[gibbrn]

ahhhh I wish my gas bill will be over the top our heating has been on for two weeks...not all the time, but still on a lot overnight and sometimes in the day if there is little sun to warm the house....it is very sunny here!! hopefully that keeps up!

But we did have snow two days ago....ahhhhhhhhhhhh......:eek: Where I was living we were lucky to get snow in December!!!

I wish my air was on......

love Victoria:winky:

[johannakat]

I am jealous of your snow. i love the mountains and the snow....i miss it here in socal.

[tshadow]

haha, how strange all of our weather!

I've got the air conditioner on almost constantly...when I moved here to the Caliornia desert area 3 weeks ago, the temp was 115.

Today, due to the coastal storm, we are about 90 I guess...I'm still sweatin'.

The desert is beautiful at night...bugs are noisy but nice...it's very warm to walk with the dogs...but must watch out for scorpions or spiders for them - best if I walk without them I suppose, since they don't wear shoes...

I feel most jealous of Jo though - she's got the real beauty around her - the northern coast and lakes...wow, yes, please do put up pics Jo.

I hope Mark feels some relief soon...

Today I got groceries delivered! Yay!!!

[DDayMBB]

Jo... you are absolutely correct they are still trying to get my pump adjusted and we have had some breif bits of cool nights/mornings that reaaly messing with me <UUGGHH> do not want winter to come. Jo, you holding a camera for long periods will do you no good, while back seen a 12" -60" tripod at a end lot store in my area for next to nothing at the time did not have any money on me went back a week later they were all gone...

Hairdresser... mmm beets sound yummy what also sounds good while you are making the mess add a bit of sinus clearing to the room and do up some red horseradish using those fresh beets;)

Victoria... that is another downside to the whole matter besides being culed up in a ball from the cold, having to pay out big bucks for heating costs!

Linda... yeah, I do think it will be a bit cooler up there hope you guys have a safe and fun weekend!

Johanna... I would be more than glad to give you my cold and snow:D

Tam... I have just been in a bugger of a major flare of both my TOS and also RSD/CRPS and this little cold thing we have been having at night has not helped any... with the pump they just do not turn it right up they tweak it up slow it sure is good seeing you here and you sound so much like your self :hug: the move just might have done you well!

I am going to try and attach a picture of the worse of my 2 arms, my skin color is a normally fair white... I think want to or not somewhere along thee line surgery for the TOS is going to be needed due to circulation take a look and see what you think of what GOOBER is causing (that is if I can get the pic up)

My wish to all is a pain free day full of happiness:hug:

[LinJane]

Mark Hope they get that pump working for you. I'm sure it's not fun to have gone through all that surgery and have it take so long to have it happen. I'm sure it will be worth it in the long run.

Today I'm getting ready for Football. Can't wait. It is such a family day it makes it so nice. I'm picking up ALL the grandparents. My husband is already at the game with the son who's playing. My other son helps coach. I bring the girls with me.

Today it's going to be around 85 and sunny so a great day.

I hope everyone has as low a pain day as you can have and enjoy your families!! I think when we think of all the pain we endure, if we look at what we have with our families, it makes it alittle easier, at least, it does for me.:grouphug:

[olecyn]

Been away for a while
Trying NOT to use my hands, arms, body
Being selective
The HOT weather here thru me
Now the cold increases the aches and pains
Coin toss anyone?

Anyways,I have missed soooo much news and info.
Victoria, I'm so excited to meet you
My hotel Puma casa is ur casa, 2 guestrooms

Hope to catch up some more later..
XXOO to everyone

ok, time to go...

[tshadow]

Mark - my arms turned colors before my surgery. Now they never do. Although the pain is almost as bad - not quite but almost - it did take away the color changes and I feel circulation was improved.

My two cents on my surgery...perhaps it would help you also.

[LinJane]

I hope everyone had a good weekend. I am getting ready to end mine with a game of Go-fish with my daughter. We had football. My sons team lost. But we had fun. We celebrated my moms birthday and had a great time. I have a very close family. Wish me luck in Go Fish!! Linda

[olecyn]

How do you hold cards?
Crazy as it may seem
I have the hardest time playing the simplest games with the kids.

[Jo*mar]

Cards even bothers me the leaning /holding arms like that :eek:- I can play cards on the computer just fine though & chess, suduko, checkers, crosswords etc.

Portland had the Breast cancer race/walk for the cure today -
3rd largest in the country they said.
3 million$$ made = 49,000 participants!
nice weather for a walk:D

[olecyn]

Newport Beach had a HUGE walk also here in SO Cal

[johannakat]

happy end of weekend to my TOS pals-

had a great day myself filled with Soccer...my daughter's team tied this morning (they haven't won yet this season in the new higher bracket so this was a great outcome!) and then the galaxy even managed to sqeak out a win....We went to both games, and had a great time...and I only needed one breathrough med all day with the new effexor...so yay!!!! (usually soccer days like this are heavy breakthrough med days)

i wish peace to you all, and better weather ...!

Johanan

[tshadow]

You're a good mom Johanna, and Lin too - and Cyn's a great gramma and mom...Mark's a great dad.

About holding cards - that's what I wondered when I read it...haha.

Everyone just tries their best with what they have. I save my voice for my kids. If I'm in too much pain to talk on the phone, I wait for their calls only. At 19 and 24 they do call me to ask about boys, finance, career...it makes me feel like I still have a reason to be here on Earth.

Tonight I enjoyed Justin Timberlake's concert on HBO. I LOVE his song about "what goes around" - I think he wrote it about Britney and Kfed...so much for my celeb news from the desert.

Fiance moves out here tomorrow. Oy vay.

[Horizontal One]

How do you hold cards?
Crazy as it may seem
I have the hardest time playing the simplest games with the kids.

Hi olecyn and anyone else wanting to play cards.
I hope this works but I am going to add a photo of a perpex card holder that we can buy in the UK from Disability Shops for around £3.50 /$7 at present exchange rates. They are supplies clear but I have been given to decorating them for some ladies who play whist and cannot hold their cards, after they saw mine!! This one is not finished yet.
Hope this helps
Hx

BTW
Mark - hope pain pump starts to help in evicting Goober from his home!

Hi to everyine else.

[dabbo]

Mark- I hope they get that pump adjusted stat to take care of you.

Tam- I hope that it either gets cooler and that you adjust (as best you can) to the heat. I think you're right about the song too.. watch the concert (or video)and he flips "someone" (brittney?) the bird.....

We had a few days of nice weather here, then back to 90 and HUMID. Ack. Oh well... its supposed to cool off to the lower 80's over the course of the week. Now i've gotta find a way to keep myself occupied when i'm not looking for a job.

Finally, this starts week 3 of the cymbalta.... I think I feel like I'm in a better mood, but keep in mind I was "terminated" 5 days into taking it. So truthfully, i'm not sure.

Whoever said that Jo had the best weather/views up in Oregon was right on. Lucky! I wonder if I could find a job up in that part of the country.... hmmmmmmm

[JAMY]

Not much news but at least I have some paperwork approved from Employment Insurance and some other insurances I have...no word from my lawyer yet - only been a week so not stressed yet.

I am coming up on being six months pre-op. I am surprised how much pain I am still having...alot of neck pain. I see my neuro next week so want to mention that to him - I had had an MRI done a month before I was in the accident and wonder if maybe something funky is going on there...worth investigating. I am just trying to take things a day at a time and figure out my limits so I am not on this constant roller coaster pain ride - I think my doc needs to step up and help me more with the pain issues, which I can talk to her about next week.

You guys here are fab! I don't often post but am always here lurking.

[johannakat]

Hey dabbo- i missed that you had started cymbalta- i think that is supposed to be pretty similar to the effexor i just started....interesting to know there is someone else out there trying this at the same time. *good luck* :)

Tam- you are absolutely right- you can only do what you can!!! I have my days where i am a raving b*&ch and everyone runs from me, too. I try to make the good days good to make up for it.

[ginnybean32]

Its been awhile..used to play bridge with the kids and since one went to college we havnt played cards since june...I just do whatever I have to to hold them to enjoy time with the kids..the family has learned to be patient with me dropping them and getting them together...other than that rumicube is a great alternative to cards...so fun...and you dont have to hold them but do have to think quick which is hard for me when Im hurting...still fun though...

[DDayMBB]

TODAY I.. told Goober it is going to be a good day like it or not !!!:D So unto all I say have a good pain free day !!!
Mark

[tshadow]

THEY HEATED THE POOL!!!

THERE IS A GOD after all! So I'll be a swimming fool today! Yay!

[Bi-Coastal]

Hi Tam,

The heated pool is good news indeed. Someone most likely thought no one would notice and no heat is cheaper in spades. I suspect the HOA was mandated, (AND paid), to heat the thing anyway.

My Thoracic Surgeon told me to never get into water that was below 93 degrees, (or 98 degrees...I forget exactly).

As George, on Seinfeld, observed: "everything shrinks in cold water"!!!!!:D

Anne

[Jo*mar]

that episode was so funny.

Now Tam, don't go all out and over do right off the bat- floating and slow movements are just as good.

Fibro pool temps-
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=fibromyalgia+pool+temp&btnG=Search
most of the links suggest upper 80s - 90s for the best temps

[DDayMBB]

Hi Tam,

The heated pool is good news indeed. Someone most likely thought no one would notice and no heat is cheaper in spades. I suspect the HOA was mandated, (AND paid), to heat the thing anyway.

My Thoracic Surgeon told me to never get into water that was below 93 degrees, (or 98 degrees...I forget exactly).

As George, on Seinfeld, observed: "everything shrinks in cold water"!!!!!:D

Anne


:D:DI think they call it turtle syndrome... a guy thing ya know:D:D

[tshadow]

For some reason they put in new water, and cooled it all off...:confused:

[Edelweiss]

just jump in and say hello and hope that it is/was a good day, today.

Barbara

[Edelweiss]

wish a very relaxing, painfree, funny, agreable, ecxiting, or whatever....weekend to you all!

Very nice greetings
Barbara

[tshadow]

Fiance and I actually went out to dinner. I was different, and there was the Thursday night Palm Springs street fair to watch. I shaved my legs for the first time in about a year...hahaha.

I am in an inordinate amount of pain now - at 4 AM I think - but it was worth it to see people!

It was FUN!

My heart goes out to Melissa right now...her thread touched me. I hope she knows how much I care. My responses always come across a little, shall we say, "strong"? I am such a MOM. oy vay.

[tshadow]

Pool was hot again today - I figured out, the sun heats the pool, then the pool guys actually cools it off cuz some of the old men like it cold! So we women, and there are a lot of golf women here - we all told him to stop that. So it was warm today! Yay! POOL WARS...haha.

Met a woman here with "Ataxia." She has a website. NO PAIN with her syndrome at all. I wasn't jealous, but just wondered why TOS has to have so much / such high pain...I am in so much pain right now...

DABBO - why is your name Dabbo? Fiance lost a ton of $ on Sirius. Did you invest with Howard? Also, have you been to Oregon (where Jo is?) My gramma moved up to Medford, and I used to drive up there, hang around in Ashland (they had the Shakespeare festival) and play around on the Rogue River. My 1/2 bro & sis hated it there - and personally, I felt they were NUTS because it was gloriously beautiful and there were so many recreational and cultural things to do. Where in the South (generally) are you and your family?

MARK - ANY relief at ALL yet? I am praying for you my sweet friend.

[LinJane]

I am getting ready to leave to visit Casenovia College, by Syracuse, NY, with my daughter today. we leave in a few hours. I'm looking forward to it. We have a few more schools to look at but this is the first. We are getting a late start. Most people have started awhile ago but we had a crazy summer. As you all know, with pain, the idea of sitting in a car for hours is not very appealing. Especially doing the driving. That's what did me in in the first place. She has her license but on some of the roads we're taking I don't think she'll be comfortable. We'll have fun though. I'll take a pillow to rest my arm. And, some wine for tonight! Wish me luck! Linda

[hairdresser]

Lost my best friend Chinook. He was a 16 yearold Siberian Huskey. It is a dark day,it truly matches my mood. I feel like my heart is breaking. I am going to miss him so much. He was like the child I never had. I am just so sad.

[LinJane]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. When you lose a pet it is like losing a member of your family. I had to put my 16 year old cat to sleep 1 1/2 years ago and I still think I see her out of the corner of my eye in certain rooms in the house. Linda

[tshadow]

:grouphug:Lost my best friend Chinook. He was a 16 yearold Siberian Huskey. It is a dark day,it truly matches my mood. I feel like my heart is breaking. I am going to miss him so much. He was like the child I never had. I am just so sad.

My heart goes out to you =
:grouphug:

[Sea Pines 50]

Where To Bury A Dog

There are various places within which a dog may be buried. We are thinking now of a setter, whose coat was flame in the sunshine, and who, so far as we are aware, never entertained a mean or an unworthy thought. This setter is buried beneath a cherry tree, under four feet of garden loam, and at its proper season the cherry strews petals on the green lawn of his grave. Beneath a cherry tree, or an apple, or any flowering shrub of the garden, is an excellent place to bury a good dog. Beneath such trees, such shrubs, he slept in the drowsy summer, or gnawed at a flavorous bone, or lifted head to challenge some strange intruder. These are good places, in life or in death. Yet it is a small matter, and it touches sentiment more than anything else.

For if the dog be well remembered, if sometimes he leaps through your dreams actual as in life, eyes kindling, questing, asking, laughing, begging, it matters not at all where that dog sleeps at long and at last. On a hill where the wind is unrebuked and the trees are roaring, or beside a stream he knew in puppyhood, or somewhere in the flatness of a pasture land, where most exhilarating cattle graze. It is all one to the dog, and all one to you, and nothing is gained, and nothing lost -- if memory lives. But there is one best place to bury a dog. One place that is best of all.

If you bury him in this spot, the secret of which you must already have, he will come to you when you call -- come to you over the grim, dim frontiers of death, and down the well-remembered path, and to your side again. And though you call a dozen living dogs to heel they should not growl at him, nor resent his coming, for he is yours and he belongs there.

People may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass bent by his footfall, who hear no whimper pitched too fine for mere audition, people who may never really have had a dog. Smile at them then, for you shall know something that is hidden from them, and which is well worth the knowing.

The one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of his master.

by Ben Hur Lampman



The Power of the Dog

There is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie--
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart to a dog to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet's unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find--it's your own affair--
But ... you've given your heart to a dog to tear.


When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!)
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone--wherever it goes--for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart to a dog to tear.


We've sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we've kept 'em, the more do we grieve:
For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short-term loan is as bad as a long--
So why in--Heaven (before we are there)
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?


Rudyard Kipling


dear jane,

i am so sorry for your loss. i was taught that "chinook" is the indian word for 'secret friend'. this is a huge sorrow, and i hope you give yourself plenty of time to grieve. chinook was so many things to you - honest, loyal and true, they see right through our character defects and our flaws and into our hearts to love us unconditionally. as if they "know" who we really are; expect the best from us... and so that is what they draw out. i believe dogs are here to teach us something. to learn how to be more "other-directed" (as they are!), and to love without judgment or conditions attached.

rudyard kipling was my father's favorite author and poet. he loved him so much that he named his only son "kim" (well, kimball, really... after an ancestor or something, but knowing it would be shortened to 'kim'). unfortunately, my brother changed it once he became a commissioned naval officer and an F-14 pilot - guess he didn't think it was macho enough or something-:D - so to this day, he goes by KC, his first 2 initials, instead of kim.

but kipling and his writings were a big influence on my growing up years. i have his poem "IF" up on my refrigerator - it was the last one my dad ever read aloud to the 4 of us before he died... and my brother read that kipling poem at his funeral service when we scattered my dad's ashes off of the stern of his sailboat over the waters of his beloved puget sound.

anyway, i'm crying now as i write this to you, hairdresser. you must be absolutely devastated at the loss of chinook. i know i would be, if ever - oh, what am i saying? when the time comes for me to put down my dog, IQ (guess we are big on initials in my family, eh?:rolleyes:).

she is my heart and at 10 and a half years old, has seen me through some very tough TOS times... and beyond. i know i don't have to explain to you what i mean by that. it occurs to me that each of us who has a dog and lives with the severe intractable pain of this syndrome - well, we may not know it, but what we have by our sides and at our feet are some of the finest service animals i think you'll ever meet.

we have a forum member, easternshorelady, who trains abused and abandoned dogs to become service and emotional support dogs for people with mobility disabilities. i think her site is at www.shoreservicedogs.com, but if that's wrong i know the link is up on a subforum under the our pets forum.

i hope someday, jane, you will find it in your heart to get another dog. of course, it is way too soon to even think about that right now. but chinook's suffering is over and i know you gave him a good life. take comfort it that. look at how much he loved you!!! he was right where he wanted to be, while here on this earth. never, ever doubt that for a second. and he will never be gone from your heart.

i feel for you. this must hurt like the dickens. and don't forget, you are already grieving all the losses TOS has wrought (on top of the frustration and endless machinations of W/C you have to deal with-:mad:!), so this may hit you especially hard...

stay as supported as you possibly can; keep others close right now, OK? and keep writing about things, let those feelings flow out of you, capture them on paper, talk about chinook, get his pictures out and as you slowly organize his things to donate to a shelter, or to simply toss away or whatever you decide to do... you will know when the time is right for you to put all but a couple of special reminders up in a little box somewhere safe. just as you will tuck chinook into your heart.

he was very lucky to have you as his master, hairdresser. be well.

xo
alison
"Be Brave"

[gibbrn]

grief is a horrible thing.....

hairdresser,
My heart goes out to you and Chinook. I am aware of the devastation of loss of a best friend. I have no touching poem as Alison posted only the knowledge of the pain. My childhood pet Mickey....my youngest brother named him after we got home from a trip to Florida......died at 16. I miss him still and that was almost 10 years ago and I feel him still. I have a cat now and Marc tells me that she will die and it makes me cry just to think of it.

May my prayers reach you and hope that they can let you know I care and am thinking of you. I know that they will not ease your pain but know I care and know I am thinking of you in your time of distress:(

love and hugs:hug:
Victoria

[ginnybean32]

I am getting ready to leave to visit Casenovia College, by Syracuse, NY, with my daughter today. we leave in a few hours. I'm looking forward to it. We have a few more schools to look at but this is the first. We are getting a late start. Most people have started awhile ago but we had a crazy summer. As you all know, with pain, the idea of sitting in a car for hours is not very appealing. Especially doing the driving. That's what did me in in the first place. She has her license but on some of the roads we're taking I don't think she'll be comfortable. We'll have fun though. I'll take a pillow to rest my arm. And, some wine for tonight! Wish me luck! Linda

They start early here in the south...Im grateful my son knew he wanted to go and we didnt have to do all that traveling..we are about 2hrs away...Its hard though keeping up with worrying how they are doing...I learned to keep an eye on facebook for both my teenagers...that way I can ask them how they are doing and push it when I need to. Good luck on your trip...

[ginnybean32]

Good to see you...so much going on around here...im tired and hurting...but Im alive and thats good enough for now...Amy

[gibbrn]

ok thinking this may help someone.....
it may be my imagination, but I am feeling better on this medication. I am smiling and joking....and did make my focaccia yesterday and it was damn good....still not used to cooking at altitude......at 4000km above sea level.....guess I need to turn the temp down as I burnt the bottom of one of them thank God for Silpat as it saved the little pizza's I made....so it did hurt but I did it and

then some ironing before shedding tears at the end of Grey's Anatomy....oh George!!!!!! And ER was great!!!! So the tv is my life again...but doing things while watching it....unless it was like the CSI when you need to watch for details.......lol

so is it the nortriptyline?????????????? not sure what the answer is but I'll take it and increase it if need to and try to decrease other things......who knows how to deal with this drug salad of mine....

love and hugs to all!!!
Victoria

[DDayMBB]

HD... so sorry to hear about your puppy, they are truly so much a part of a family.

Victoria... I take Nortryptyline at bed time it not only help me relax at bed time, but also was also was given to cut down on the burning caused by the my RSD...though see no reason why it can not be used for symptoms of TOS as we are basically just lab rats any-who to doctors one thing I did find out is heed the sun warning and wear a good SPF block or burn!

Linda... do not make fun of back road area, find driving them are much more enjoyabeable;)

Tam... I hope they get your pool adjusted just right and so nice to hearr about your noight out on the town!!!

TO EVERYONE a safe and paind painfree weekend !!!

[gibbrn]

Hi,

Mark,
do you mind disclosing the dose of nortriptyline that you are taking? I am taking 50 right now. I take it at b(`````` ) sorry about that was the cat trying to type as she is climbing on me and the cpu..... sorry...:p
so at bedtime, but it seems to make me more hyper than sleepy?????:confused:

Thanks,
love and hugs,
Victoria

[beth]

Just have to say:

YIPPIE!!!!

The CUBS have WON the Division Championship!!! :winner_first_h4h::Excited: :Good-Luck:

Now, if they can just keep what's his name, the fan that grabbed the foul ball in 2003, out of the ballpark, they might could possibly maybe have a chance of breaking this 99-year run of bad luck! :D :rolleyes:

GO CUBBIES!!!

[tshadow]

Today I received a new perfume from Bergdorf Goodman, online, Estee Lauder's Private Collection Tuberose.

This smells the same way Hawaii does - the smell of the Plumeria leis.

Where is Olecyn? I must tell her about it.

Anyways, it's sold out everywhere, so this was the only place I could get it, and that was my one birthday present...so I will spray it on the end of my bed...since I seldom go out! My heart is in Hawaii, so this smell brings up the soul of that place...even other tropical locations don't have the spiritual sense of Hawaii for me. This perfume really captured the fragrance of it.

Pain is middlin' today, so life is pretty good the last three days! Gotta take 'em when we get them! :D

Alooooha!

[johannakat]

am in knots over the exclusion of Hope Solo from the Women's national team game against Norway, hoping Greg Ryan gets dumped as coach, idiot.

also in knots over the stupidity of my own daughter's soccer coaches who SUCK...

sitting here at my computer hoping SOMEONE will hear and answer with consolation, to one of my frustrated emails regarding my kiddo's team.... *sigh*

otherwise an OK day...had to take a breakthrough for the first time since last sunday today, so effexor trial still going well...as today was a big soccer day, also managed to take both little kids to the park all by myself. :D

a funny thing happened, though....my hubby got out some old home movies from my pre TOS days...and i guess there was a part where i carried a stroller up a set of steps, and everyone looked at it like, WOW!!! Look at mom go!!! Kind of a reminder of how much slower i am these days. Good for them to see that, i think. Just to remember i haven't always been this way.

anyhow...nice to check in with you all so much today, the wrist is doing pretty well, too yay!! but I am about out of steam, here.

see you all tomororw, sweet dreams!!!

[Jo*mar]

I had a lively day of organizing and tidying up around our workshop:).
I don't know why I have to be the one to finally try to organize up there - I can't even keep the house organized LOL.

nothing like rolling & stacking huge mud boggin wheels & tires:eek:
plus finding places to park the "project vehicles" so it doesn't look like a hillbilly acres or a redneck wrecking yard

But it feels good to get most of that done before it gets muddy.

[tshadow]

What in goodness' name Jo are you doing???? :eek: Sounds major!

Johanna, you're such a good mom. Keep your head above any soccer fray (not saying there is one) and make decisions that will allow your girls to get the benefits of the experience, and forget whoever that stupid coach is...in other words, don't let that coach affect what you and your girls do in the over-all soccer endeavor. I hate when sometimes a "bad apple" can ruin a game, or team, or entire league.

Love to all today Sunday.