View Full Version : Questions re: my moms health
03-10-2007, 07:45 AM
:cool: Hi all im new here and in desperate need of help,
I have asked my mother for a favor to babysit my daughter for 1 week who is 1 right now but by july will be 17 months old, which is when I need her to do this as my husband and I have our 10 year anniversary that just past and we'd like to go out campping we are so deprived on that part of our lives as far as going out.
She seems to always say to me when I ask her to babysit longer then just running out for a few hours ,,,I dont know if i can handle the stress,,Im not suppose to undergo continual stress and what if it affects my heart and blood pressure.
she always seems to lean to her medical cond. when it comes to babysitting for a period of time.
She periodically drinks like 2 weeks ago she drank until 4:30am in the morning she still eats certain things that are no good for people with heart cond. ie. (eggs) Should I consider her feelings or is she useing her condition to her benefits?
I almost feel guilty to think i will stand up and say something oof what im thinking but on the other hand she is totally contradicting herself by doing these other things.
Like i feel she is saying this just because she cant be bothered to be tied down for that amount of time with a child and have the responsibility,
She is almost done her teething to my daughter so that WILL NOT be a factor where she is overly cranky and she also is a very happy girl my mother has said so herself somedays she goes without crying at all. Believe it or not!:rolleyes:
"I NEED ADVICE PLEASE"
03-10-2007, 07:53 AM
this is my personal opinion on the question you have raised...........
if your mother does not feel safe or comfortable babysitting for an extended period of time, I think you should respect that
Whether it is her overall health, her drinking or whatever, if she recognises that babysitting for extended periods is not a good idea, I honestly would not leave my child with her. She is being open with you about it...and whether or not you agree with her reasons, I think you should nevertheless heed them
03-10-2007, 07:58 AM
Hi thanks for your opinion its greatly appreciated although it drives me crazy because its not like she is an alcoholic dont get me wrong its she totally contradict herself and she is the only person who my daughter is comfortable with thats the frusturateing part I know as well as everyone else around that she is capable she just uses her angina,,blood pressure problems and past heart attack to her advantage and when it benefits her she plays it like she needs to keep healthy and strong to benefit herself but on the other hand she goes out drinking and does her own thing.
03-10-2007, 12:16 PM
I agree with Chemar -
Basically your mother is saying she doesn't want to care for your child -for what ever reason- that means to me that she would not be a loving caregiver.
i would not feel comfortable leaving my child with someone who makes excuses and reasons to not care for her.
Why not take baby camping with you?
I used to take mine quite often.
And my parents took babies in diapers camping all the time & they only had cloth diapers back then!
You might need to start looking for a more caring caregiver -or 2- as back up sitters.
03-10-2007, 03:32 PM
Hi thanks i appreciate all the input and really I think yous may be misunderstanding me a bit...She wouldnt be cruel to my child she is far from that very attentive and careing gentle and soft spoken she would make the best babysitter ..WHat I wanted to know should I speak my mind and say how i feel or should i accept her rejection and bite my toung.
Take care all.
Lots of love.
03-10-2007, 04:19 PM
Of course, you can always discuss the whole situation with her- maybe both of you will come to an better understanding of each other that way.
But arguing about it will not be a good thing- a calm talk will get better results for both of you.
If you plan on camping in July you have quite awhile to let her think about the idea - or perhaps only camp for 3 or 4 days? see if that is acceptable for her.
How far away from home are you going be camping?
A full week is a long time to be away from a one yr old that isn't used to being away from mommy.
some babies get a tooth one right after another.
I wouldn't describe her decision as a rejection - it is just a decision she made - it is a long time until July.
But to tell you the truth - Ill bet you will miss your baby with in 3 days - or less!
03-10-2007, 11:38 PM
Twinkler, I have to agree that a week is a long time to ask your mother to babysit a 17 month old. She may be worried that she cannot keep up and that is why she is saying she can't because of her heart. Is there anyone else you could ask to split the task with her, like mom watch the baby at night but get time off during the day to rest?
I know that you and your husband need time but that is part of being a parent, putting your kids before you at times. We always took our kids with us when we did get to go on vacation. And yes we took them camping many times. I had 2 in diapers once and I made it. Can you ask a friend or other family member to perhaps just watch the baby overnight? The baby will be grown before you know it but your mom won't always be there. I lost mine 3 years ago and life is never the same after you lose your parents. Please don't be offended because that is not what I meant. Sue
11-03-2009, 09:28 PM
Hi, I have to agree with the others. Do not leave the baby with your mother during this trip. She is saying to you, again for whatever reason that she can't or doesn't want to do this. I would not speak my mind, I would just say okay Mom, I understand and leave it at that. It will probably be best for all of you, baby included.
11-16-2009, 12:30 AM
Hi, not sure if this will help you but I have 5 grandchildren that I absolutely ADORE. They are my angels, my joy in life. I am 52 yrs old and I have MS but able to walk and move around without aids in the house. As much as I adore my grandkids and would do anything for them, I could never ever watch them for a week straight and my children would not ask me to. It's alot to be put on the spot even if a grandparent LOOKS capable on the outside and is loving, caring and able. Your mom had a heart attack once before and though chances are she will be okay, 1. she may tire much more quickly than you realize 2. A baby is very draining at 17 mos old even for grandma and 3. should something happen to her during the night, who will be able to care for the baby if your mom gets sick? This is just my opinion but no grandma wants to feel guilty when they aren't up to babysitting... especially so long a time alone. I only keep my grandkids overnight when someone else is in the house with me. Please don't take offense, this is just my opinion. Good Luck...
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