View Full Version : Mother died May 21 at 67.
06-26-2011, 10:34 PM
My mother was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers at about 62. It actualy beganh earlyier than that at about 60. She began forgeting calculations, and computer knowlage. Then she lost the abilty to read and write, then drive. Then what could have been Normal Pressure Hydrocefalis (spelling?), she had a shunt put into the base of her brain in order to help her to regain her motor skills, did not work after 4 or 5 adjustments. She lost i'd say over %90 of her motor skills. She became an invalid, and spent the last 9 months of her life in a nursing home in North Carolina. She was burried in Akron, Ohio.
06-27-2011, 03:14 AM
so sorry to hear this, how are you coping? :hug:
I'm so sorry for your loss, Eric. :(
She was so young and suffered for such a long time, as you must have also, seeing your mum in so much distress.
How are you doing?
06-27-2011, 09:22 PM
I'm trying tokeep busy. Just going with the flow of life Lara. I work 50 hours a week at 3 jobs. (40 + 6 + 4). Plus I am an audio book 'reader' and the stories keep my mind occupied while I work. But there is not a day that goes by that I do not think about it at least a dozen times.
I'f I'm alone, and something captures my attention that associates with a memory, I begin to have a 'moment' and begin to cry. She was a freind to me when I was in my 20' and 30's, and in the last years of her life I was hers. She would confide in me, cry on my shoulder, and tell me things that she would not tell her husband ( my step-father ). There was that certain trust between us. I had her for 43 years. It is still hard for me to accept at times. I have not gone this long without speaking to her. No more than 3 weeks would pass by without us talking.
I recieved a letter today from a caretaker at the nurseing home where she was, who had spent a lot of time with her. She told me of their relationship, and befreinding my mother. and their talks. I cried reading it.
She was a fighter who survived MANY a heartache in life. The BEST teacher that I ever had. Who taught me so much about life that I would have never learned from school. And above all else, she was the appitomy of how a lady should be. She was a true lady indeed. And the first woman whom I had ever loved.
It is my and mywifes duty now to tel our girls who are now 3 and 5, about her, and who she was.
It's so wonderful that you had her as your teacher. My parents died when I was very young so I missed out on that teaching.
I worry very much that I will develop Alzheimer's Disease. My Nana (Father's Mother) and my Father's Sister (my aunt who I lived with since age 4 until 17 when I went nursing) died from this disease. Same side of the family. I have often wondered if my Father had lived longer if he would have it also. Morbid thoughts I suppose to some, but realistic to me.
Do talk to your children about your Mother's life and how wonderful she was. That's really important. Document it. Make an album or you could make a "treasure chest" for your girls.
I had a friend whose Mother died suddenly due to stroke from a drug she was taking. Her Mother made exquisite handmade quilts. I suggested she keep those quilts so that she could wrap herself in them when she needed her Mother's love.
Remember that love you had with your Mother. Not everyone has that life long love. It must be very difficult for you right now, Eric, but you will be stronger for these experiences and memories...
love to you,
06-29-2011, 06:05 PM
Thank you Lara. One thng that I began almost 5 years ago was a journel for our oldest, Alisha. Then I began another onefor our youngest, Ariana shortly after we discovered that we were pregnant again and had no clue as to what sex the child would be. I got the idea froma James Patterson novel called, ' Suzannes Diary For Nicholas ' which also became a made for TV movie. I write in them every-so-often about what is going on in the world, my life, our lives, special events, etc.... I will give them to them when they turn 18. I have also began an audio journal which will constist of only personal memories from my child hood, and the first 14 years of Angie and I's marriage. Our 'childless years'. Plus personal thoughts.
The audio journal will be for the both of them.
My mother gave me a very special gift when we had Alisha April 27, 2006. I had never known that It had existed until she gave it to us.
First: My parents divorced in December of 1976. My mother got custody of my big brother and I, and we saw our Dad every other weekend.
Anyhow, she gave us a light green with cream trimmed crocheted baby blanket which is probably 3x4........It was hand made by a woman whom I never knew because she died before I was born. My Grandma Daily. My dad's mother. I am 44 next month, so that would make it almost 50 years old. Because she knitted it in 1964, for our parents first child who died after about 7 hours.
Angie and I will hand that down to our first grandchild. My mother gave it tous simply because my brother is not the sentimental type. She told me that he wouldn't have appriciated it as much as I would. Other wise, it would have gone to his now 20 year old daughter. He still doesn't know that it exists either.
07-20-2011, 12:17 AM
As Lara said, your mom was so young & suffered so much. You too, as her son. I am glad you had your own family for support.
Your mother was so lucky that you & your family were there. Your love for her is obvious in what you have written here, & all the ways you have for sharing that with your daughters is inspiring. :)
My dad died from Alzheimer's 18 yrs ago. His doctor lied to my mom & said he was just getting old, nothing to worry about. That doc's the only person I've ever seriously considered murdering.... He put my mother thru hell. :mad:
I share your concerns, Lara, about the future. My dad's mother very likely died from Alzheimer's too. Dimensia, in any case. She, my dad, & I--all alcoholics, so I inherited at least 1 thing from them. I've got the gene for Alzheimer's (discovered in other testing).
Eric, thank you for telling us about your mother & your family. It makes for a beautiful story. :hug:
08-18-2011, 06:51 AM
Thank you BlueCarGal, It had been a while since I habe been to this site. I just read your reply. I am coping better today. I still think about my Mom everyday, but Not as often because i have been busy. I havent had a 'moment' for quite some time as well.
08-18-2011, 08:16 AM
You're sounding good, Eric. You know that you'll think of your mom every day forever (or until you meet up again!) because she's your mom.:wink:! Take good care of you amid all the busy-ness.
You do know, I bet, that occasionally a 'moment' will ambush you out of nowhere. After 18 yrs., it happens. But now they tend to turn quickly into a memory sweetened by time. I'm seeing "the other side" of some of the worst, & I am finally realizing that I did the best I could at the time.
Take good care.
C.G.. *. **. **a work still being worked on
That is a sheer coincidence.
If I remember correctly, my mother passed away at the age of 67 too
on May 21, 1997, over fourteen years ago.
She had a massive hemorrhagic stroke on May 15, lapsed into a deep coma,
and passed away six days later. It was likely caused by a ruptured brain aneurysm.
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