This one could get me in trouble..

[Earl]

Let's see how personal some here take this, keep in mind, this is a JOKE>>

Q- What do you call a smart blond

A- A golden Retriever.

:) :)

[tamiloo]

Earl...I'm a blonde but what do you call a blonde that colors her hair black?

Artificial intelligence...

[tamiloo]

Oh and Earl you spell blond...blonde...I'm being a great sport!!!

[Vegasgrl]

I'm blonde too!!

So did you hear about the 3 blondes that walked into the bar?

You'd think one of them would have seen it!

[tamiloo]

I'm blonde too!!

So did you hear about the 3 blondes that walked into the bar?

You'd think one of them would have seen it!

Vegas, that was a good one...my Olhipie didn't get it until I explained it to him...I guess you would have to be blonde to get it...

No Earl your not in trouble!!:wink:

[the Bird]

I have to find my blonde joke! I have a good one!

But I'm not blonde!!!

[tamiloo]

Come on I'm sure you have a good one hidden somewhere...

[Vegasgrl]

I know a lot of them but I'm trying to think of some that are G rated or at the least PG-13. :D

[tamiloo]

Ah...come on...

[thav1]

Oh and Earl you spell blond...blonde...I'm being a great sport!!!

Oh strike one for woman kind ! Good job Tam !:Funny-Post:

[tamiloo]

Hey Earl...we love you...where are you....???

[ckepi]

you can post blonde jokes as long as we can post our brunette jokes too ;).

Q:What's the difference between a brunette and a bag of trash?

A: The trash gets taken out once a week.

[tamiloo]

I am a blonde so I can make fun of them and get away with it...but if we are going to have a thread like this one what the hay...joke away...

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”

[the Bird]

LOL Oh Tami that was funny!!! LOL

[tamiloo]

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

What a year!!

[HardDriveUSA]

:confused:

Any one really know how many blond jokes there are?

:)




:D






;)




:rolleyes:

just one, all the rest are true!!!:cool:

[tamiloo]

Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".

[Vegasgrl]

A blonde woman was standing in her kitchen looking out of the window when she noticed her neighbors house was on fire. She picked up the phone and called 911. When the operator answered she told her that her neighbors house was on fire. The operator asked her for the address, she said she didn't know, it was just across the street from her. The operator asked how they would they get there and the blonde replied DUH big red truck!

[suzyqz_2007]

A blonde was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass. She rushed her cat, along with the tail over to WAL-MART!

Why WAL-MART??

:confused:

:confused:

:confused:

HELLOOOOOOOOO!


WALMART is the largest retailer in the world!!! :Doh:

[tamiloo]

A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"

[the Bird]

I didn't care for the trucker blonde one so much, but I LOVED the rest! and needed the laugh! Thanks Tammy and others!!!

[tamiloo]

ok...ok...hope this one is better...

Q: Why was the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: She was throwing all the W's away.

[the Bird]

ROFL....I LOVE that one!!!

[tamiloo]

Being a blonde I have heard them all...

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice?
A: Because it said "Concentrate"

[the Bird]

I like that one too!

I have a male blond joke somewhere in my email...I'll have to dig it up!

[tamiloo]

you go....

Q: Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.

[tamiloo]

That one was kinda dumb....

Someone saw a blonde eating a Tootsie Roll Pop and asked her, "So,... how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?"
Without a thought, the blonde replied, "Beats me, but it took almost the whole day just to lick through the wrapper."

[tamiloo]

I tried t censor this...hopefully I won't get in trouble...

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little s&%$ on your knee."

[the Bird]

ROFL....ROFL....thanks for the laughs!!!

[tamiloo]

This one is kinda long but a goody...

A blonde decided she needed something new and different for a winter hobby. She went to the bookstore and bought every book she could find on ice fishing.

For weeks she read and studied, hoping to become an expert in the field. Finally she decided she knew enough and out she went for her first ice fishing trip. She carefully gathered up and packed all the tools and equipment needed for the excursion. Each piece of equipment had its own special place in her kit.

When she got to the ice, she found a quiet little area, placed her padded stool and carefully laid out her tools.

Just as she was about to make her first cut into the ice, a booming voice from the sky bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!!"

Startled, the blonde grabbed up all her belongings, moved further along the ice, poured some hot chocolate from her thermos, and started to cut a new hole.

Again the voice from above bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!!"

Amazed, the blonde was not quite sure what to do as this certainly was not covered in any of her books. She packed up her gear and moved to the far side of the ice. Once there, she stopped for a few moments to regain her calm. Then she was extremely careful to set everything up perfectly--tools in the right place, chair positioned just so. Just as she was about to cut this new hole, the voice came again.

"There are no fish under the ice!!"

Petrified, the blonde looked skyward and asked, "Is that You, Lord?"

The voice boomed back, "NO THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE SKATING RINK!"

[the Bird]

ROFL

I like that one!!!

Earl, you started this and you got Tami on a roll!!! LOL

[tamiloo]

One day this blonde is riding a horse. As they are trotting along the blond decides she wants to go faster and do some tricks so she starts turning the horse around in a circle. All of a sudden she starts to slip so she grabs the horses mane. But even though she has hold of the mane she was still slipping. so she decided the best thing to do was to not fall off by putting her foot in the saddle. So she's riding along hanging from her foot, with her head banging on the ground, almost near death when the K Mart guy comes over and turns of the horse.

[tamiloo]

Earl....where are you???

[tamiloo]

Hey...gotta go...going to a couples retreat with Twinkletoes...be back oh...this weekend...

[ernhrtfan]

what do you call a blond found dead in a closet........

hide n seek champ of 2003:eek:

[Curious]

no blonde monkey jokes..or y'all are going to be innnnnnnn----trouble.

http://dl7.glitter-graphics.net/pub/368/368967brfkkac21y.gif (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)

[the Bird]

That Kmart one is awful!

And so is the 2003 champ!!! :eek:

[weegot5kiz]

A blonde is so tired of the jokes and decided to change her hair color, to
brunette.to show everyone how smart she is

she takes her car out for a ride and pulls over near a farm of sheep and ask the sheep hand by the fence a question.

she ask if she can guess how many sheep there are could she have one,
the hand says sure, figuring yeah right who can guess that correctly

the blonde say 657, and to his amazment 657 is correct.
So he tells her to go get her sheep, and she runs in the field comes out with

her sheep, where upon the sheephand ask, hey if i can guess your natural hair color can I have my dog back

[MooseasaurusRex]

First time on this thread.

My brother has blonde hair.
He's thinner than me and better looking and has a HOT wife.

I hate him.

However! I do have less hair on my back than him.

I guess that counts for something....

[Switch]

One of these is different from the others, which one is it?
Santa Claus, a smart blonde and an honest politician











Answer: Santa Claus because some people believe he exists

[weegot5kiz]

lol switch

[tamiloo]

I'mm back...

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender IS blonde and the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall blonde, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is a blonde, 6' 2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6' 5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

[the Bird]

The very first ever Blonde GUY joke..... And well worth the wait !!!!


An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.


They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."


The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos! one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blond e opened his lunch an d said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."


The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.


The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.


At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"


The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."


(Oh this is GOOD!!)?



Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife The blonde's wife said,



"Don't look at me. He made his own lunch"

[tamiloo]

Here is another blonde guy joke...tee hee...

Two blonde guys were working for the city works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.

They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-man team. But today the guy who plants the trees called in sick."