The Enigma of Suicide by George Colt

[Alffe]

This is just an excellent book about all aspects of suicide from a historical viewpoint (thinking has changed thank God) to present day feelings regarding the why. It explores the various motives that may have lead people to suicide and the explanations offered by so called experts. It explores the range of suicide and self-destructive behaviors, including those that do not
immediately end in death: alcoholism...etc.

It covers adolescent suicide, prevention and the right to die. It is so comprehensive and thoughtful...I really learned a lot from reading it.

This jumped out at me from the chapter: "A Place for What We Lose"..

"Many grief counselors believe that healing after a suicide can begin only when the survivor realizes that the question "why" will never be answered.

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The search for the reason why is part of what people need to do, but finally they understand that no answer is ever enough. Healing and a sense of self-worth come only when one draws away from feeling responsible for the death. When people learn a way to let go, to give permission for what's already happened to them, only then will they be able to move on."

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This is so powerful....this is where I got stuck.

Hugs for the room. :grouphug:

[nohope]

I do know why my husband did it and I feel absolutely no guilt. However, I just can't get over it. We had everything. How could he let alcohol reign and take away all that we had? How come he could never own up to any responsibility to all the devastation he caused us over a 2 year period? We lost EVERYTHING! My children lost their beloved dad. It is just so unacceptable! I think of him as a coward now and how he could not accept responsibility for what he did and step up to the plate and fix it. He always commanded respect and that "he was the man!" I was the enabler. I remember buying him his booze when I was 9 months pregnant and everyone giving me an evil eye. He wasn't strong enough to quit, no willpower and I just tried to be a good wife and keep him happy. But in the end of our marraige I quit that too.

I believe God made the last two years of tradgedy happen to make me strong because he knew he was going to succomb to alcoholism.

Thank you for leading me to a good book:)

[Alffe]

(((nohope...honey)))) The "easy" answer is "he was a drunk"...and there are no "easy answers."..it's unforgiveable when childen are involved..Thankfully you are able to be strong enough to survive this, at least long enough to give the girls a life...:grouphug:

[Alffe]

Honey, no hope....forgive me for that last post...it was a lot more judgemental than I ever want to be. You had to live it...you get to define it.
My "job" is to support you. :grouphug: