Why not die?

[sheena]

Ok, you got me. Your friends family, people you wok with, anyone that cares about you. What - miss the right spot, what if your drugs miss? It's not so easy to die. Do u you want a stroke? I had one at 33. Do u want to see your face not right forever? I saw this at 33. Do u want to be sick for mo's after u get out of the hosp.? I was. want to be scared of not be able to walk, speak, care for your child... I didn't! Somehow I came to believe I was not ready to die. I wanted it so but became scared if I missed.


I have to get a will - depressed and will not, I never put up my mothers monument due to no estate close. I have to file and pay for her 08 return, no help and refuse to leave house, what do I do with my 6 yr old? I can't have sleep overs.... She has no fiends now - see my post on ms brd. She hates me. I could go on for 50 lines -- bottom line -- my child but I am too sick to keep her. So forget the 50 lines and tell me why not risk it and hope for the best - to die!!!!!

[sheena]

Sorry I can't sp or type any longer

[Alffe]

(((sheena))) I'm sorry you are in such despair and feeling hopeless right now.

I can tell you from a survivors point of view why you shouldn't take your own life. You will leave your daughter with the legecy of suicide...the forever knowledge that she wasn't good enough for you to live for. The anger, the sorrow and question of why...why would my mother choose death over me

It's a nightmare existance so please don't do it to her.

Life isn't fair but we have to take responsibility for the choices we make. :hug:

[KathyM]

Sheena

I think one of the finest gifts a parent can give a child is a good story. A story of how her mother endured and overcame the storms of life, despite the odds. :cool:

It's worth another try at life, and another, and another. Even if it doesn't work, what's the worst that could happen? It will kill you - oh well. :rolleyes: At least she will know you never gave up trying to live. It may give her a little strength years from now when she needs something to hold on to life. :)

[Jo*mar]

I hope today is a bit brighter for you:grouphug:

[sheena]

Yes, I agree - that was just a real bad day. I'm sorry. One of my lesions control my mood. It's no fun. I try to keep Emily's hopes high. I'm not checking out on her. Thanks all.

[KathyM]

It's okay, Sheena. We all have to vent sometimes. Nice belch, btw. :p

Good luck to you and Emily. :)

[Alffe]

You're welcome here anytime sheena...it's a great bunch of people. :hug:
And I love the name Emily. *grin

[Doody]

(((Sheena)))

I'm so glad you checked back in to let us know all is as well as can be. Hang in there lady. :hug:

[MooseasaurusRex]

((((Sheena)))):hug:

[Idealist]

I think this is a very good question. I don't think there are many people with disabling conditions who haven't wondered the same thing at one time or another. I'll admit that I've thought it. And I have three kids. And when you are really depressed, sometimes your world shrinks down to only you. You may not believe that people would miss you. Or you may think that they might actually be better off without you.

But when you have those kind of feelings, you have to fight back as if it were some kind of enemy out to kill you. Because that's what it is. And living with chronic illness also teaches us one very useful thing. Never make a decision without thinking about it for at least a few days. I don't think I'll ever really hurt myself, or even try to. Because I know that tomorrow or the next day the thought is going to go away, and then I'll just feel silly for having even thought about it, even though I know there's no reason to feel silly at all. It was just a temporary weakness.

I'm really sorry you had one of those down times, Sheena, and I'm glad you got over it quickly. You sound like a smart and determined woman. But we all need to be reminded that we're not going crazy once in a while. :p

So if you have another day when you just need to get it out where you know other people will help you through the day, or two days, or whatever, please don't feel silly about seeking that help. If there's one thing I know about most of the members here, it's that they absolutely love to be able to help. You take care, Sheena. Good luck and best wishes for you and your daughter.:)