And Yet Again

[mennayriu]

...I'm still awake. I should have just taken the lorazepam but I'm still afraid to take it. My mind won't shut down, once again and it's gotten old a long time ago. Does it EVER stop? And the scariest thing is that I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow: if I'll be too exhausted or if I'll feel rested even though I'm not, or any combination of that. How long can someone really go on little to no sleep?

[Sannah]

My mind won't shut down, once again and it's gotten old a long time ago. Does it EVER stop? And the scariest thing is that I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow:

Fear, especially of the unknown. Lived this too. Would love to talk with you more about this monster anxiety.

[mennayriu]

The psychiatrist's office just called me and canceled my appointment for tomorrow due to the doctor's family emergency. This means that I have to wait until at LEAST Friday, if not next Monday for my first visit :(

[mennayriu]

I just don't feel like I can do this another entire week. I'm exhausted and I need to talk to someone and right now I feel angry, upset, and incredibly anxious all at the same time. I can't even think and I really have to clean and organize but I can't figure out what to do first.

[Sannah]

Menna, I am sorry. Do you know why you are angry and upset. I would suggest therapy in addition to psychiatry.

[mennayriu]

Well, I took 0.25 mg of Lorazepam when I arrived home, to calm down and an hour ago I took a full 0.5 mg of it...neither time did i even feel the slightest drowsy but I am feeling calmer. I guess that tells me I need it.