sad one

[Denise Diaz]

i my name is Denise and I am a survivor of many suicide attempts.

[bizi]

HI Denise.
Glad that you posted here.
I just wanted to give you a hug...
((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))
know that you can come here to vent/share/cry/rant....what ever.
This is a safe haven.
bizi:grouphug:

[da duck]

i my name is Denise and I am a survivor of many suicide attempts.

Hi Denise...I'm Lori but people call me Ducky. Nice to meet you. Here's the place to talk if you feel you need to talk, or laugh when you can. Or both, which is what happens most often. Hope to see you about!

[Burntmarshmallow]

yes My Friend has come to say hi to my great caring understanding supportive family. I am so glad you dug up the courage to stop in and I am so proud of you Denise,I know how hard it was but you did it and you did just fine.
Bizi is my hero who helped me help my best most closet friend in the whole wide world. And ducky is such a kind helpful sos sister .

There is allot of great info at the top of this forum that you should read and try to take in. but not all at once just a little at a time.

Some of us have lost a loved one / a family member to suicide and others like myself have survived attempts of suicide. and or lost a friend to suicide. In my case more then one friend :(

My sister Koala will be around later and the rest will come along soon. You will see it is just like I said you will be wraped in support and caring with just those few words you have posted.

Keep fighting and reaching and ALWAYS know we are here to listen ,we care and try to give support as best we can.

Denise :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: Thank you for coming and giving this a try. You are brave and still have fight in you I know you want to live I can see it I can hear it and I can feel it!! So dose God.

I will be around here and I know others will be coming here also to say hi and welcome you. In the meantime just check out some of the info at the top of this page.
Hugs and prayers on you Denise.
PECAE
BMW

[Abasaki]

Hi Denise!!!

WELCOME!!!!!!!!!

So glad you decided to join us!!! :hug:

I truly understand where you are... I also have numerous attempts.

I find great comfort here!! So many wonderful and caring people here have helped me in ways that I can't even begin to thank them for....

Please feel free to vent, scream, yell, cry, talk softly, lean on us, even join in our sillyness that happens from time to time.

Everyone here genuinely cares and does not judge.

Again... I am sooooo very glad that you decided to join us over here!!!
(my heart has a very warm feeling in it right now because you are here!)

Sending you BIG but gentle:hug::hug::grouphug::hug::hug:
Abbie

[Koala77]

Hello Denise. I really am so pleased that you've come over to SOS where we can look after you and hopefully convince you that you're a member of our family now.

I've been following your posts with interest and am so thrilled to read that you're getting the treatment that hopefully will see an end to the bad times that you've been through lately.

You are so very welcome here in this forum Denise, and I hope that you'll eventually feel as safe as we do now.

http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll168/jmalsc88/Welcome/welcome-1.jpg

[Alffe]

Hi Denise and welcome to S.O.S.

You're going to fit right in here because we take turns holding each other up when we feel we're going to fall. It's a daily struggle isn't it!!

Remember that you are fighting for your life and I'm so glad for your sons sake that you are trying so hard. I remember that your husband thinks you are the strongest woman he knows and having his support is so critical in your recovering. I understand that you don't feel that way but it will get better. :hug:

I know what suicide does to a family..we lost our only son in Jan of 90 and it changed our family forever. It's a legacy you don't want to leave with the people you love.

Denise, only try to do one day, maybe one hour at a time and remember that it's ok, it's important, to talk about what you are feeling...we do "get it". :grouphug:

[Curious]

:hug: i'm so glad you posted denise.

welcome. :hug:

[Brokenfriend]

I'm so glad that you are here. You made it to the right place. You are safe here,and among people who understand,and monitor it allot. Thank you so much for coming here.You can draw strength here. Thank goodness your here. Brokenfriend:hug:

[Burntmarshmallow]

:bump::grouphug:
just bumping a couple things

[Doody]

Hi Denise and welcome. :hug:

[Addy]

You have definitely made the right move!
welcome to our safe haven!

xooxxo :sing: Addy

[Nik-key]

Welcome Denise :hug::hug:

It is so hard isn't it? This is very hard for me to reply to as I recently lost my Dad to suicide in March. I hope you will find the love and compassion I have here. Like BMW said, many of us, including myself have had thoughts or have attempted to take our lives. I haven't followed your story, but it is obvious you must be in great pain, and I am truly sorry for that. But I am so grateful you have come here! Your courage is amazing, let us help you fight:hug::hug:

http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll31/bonniekaye19567/friendship/A8.jpg

[who moi]

i my name is Denise and I am a survivor of many suicide attempts.

hi Denise...

you have said very bravely in your own words: I am a survivor

that is sooooo hard to do....so hard...

and here you are, bravely talking about it...that in itself will help others...

that in itself will help me...

please let the wonderful folks here help you walk through those hard paths when you need...and smile with you when you want to...

nice to meet you..

[Burntmarshmallow]

Denise I know you have mentioned that you are going and having ect treatments and that you are having them 3 times a week. So i understand that it is hard to come here as you are feeling so weak tired and over all sick. but There are others here that have had the ect treatments and know exactly how your feeling. Your not alone. you are part of our family here now. we will be keeping you in our thoughts and I know tomorrow is one of the treatment days all of us here will be sending prayers of strength courgae
and healing. Keep up the fight . some of us have a saying ..."fighting me for me" because that what it seems like when you are dealing with heavy things.
so keep fighting , love you, take care of you. and know we are all here for you to lean on.... to cry to... to find a smile with get support from and hugs :hug: :grouphug: :hug: because now your family!
post when you can . make sure you rest and eat healthy!
PEACE
BMW

[Abasaki]

Hi Denise!!

Just wanted to stop by and let you know...
I am thinking of you!!!
http://i256.photobucket.com/albums/hh198/celaxton/thinking/Thinking_Of_You_Butterfly.jpg
:hug:
Abbie

[DMACK]

hi Denise

I see your mood picture says SCARED...............Please dont be.........

we should have a picture that says brave.........:hug:

welcome to home,

David

[Brokenfriend]

Thinking about you....BF:hug:

[Denise Diaz]

thanks everyone for alll of your support and encouragement but the ect is not working so good for me it is making everything worse for me i may have to go into the hospital and stay there for awhile :hug:

[Abasaki]

Hi Denise,

Please do what is BEST for YOU. Take care of YOU.

We will be right here when you need us.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Please check in when you are able.

:hug:
Abbie

[who moi]

Hi Denise,

Please do what is BEST for YOU. Take care of YOU.

We will be right here when you need us.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Please check in when you are able.

:hug:
Abbie

most often times, things are said so much better than I can so I just borrow it...

I echo Abbie's....

((((denise))))

[Nik-key]

Abbie does have a way with words :hug:

Denise, I hope you will be able to find something to help you. You keep trying, your strength is amazing :hug:

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d36/Ligota/WeekDays/thoughtstoday.gif

[Denise Diaz]

thanks for all your love and support everyone. when i went for my ect treatment yesterday the dr wanted to have me hospitalized. i dont think i will be her much longer i have never felt so sick before physically and mentally even when the 4 times i have tried to kill myself the last time was the worst i only had a 25% chance to live when i was on the resperator in icu so each time it gets worse i think i will succeeded this time

[Addy]

I am thankful that you are being hospitalized.

:smileypray:

[Burntmarshmallow]

I AM THANKFUL YOU ARE STILL ALIVE. And glad you reached out and the doc wants you in hosp where you can get help and support and keep fighting to stay alive!!!!!!
You will be held in our prayers and well wishes! not forgotten in the least. Please when you can post and let us know how you are! and bring these with you my friend :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Koala77]

I echo what the others have said.

I am thankful you are still alive. I am thankful you're going to hospital. I am thankful you are talking to us. I am thankful you allow us to support you during this tough time in your life. I am thankful you are a part of our family.

http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll168/jmalsc88/Thoughts_prayers/Thinking%20of%20You/51xx.gif

[Brokenfriend]

Go to the hospital. You don't want to die. So many people love you. Your Kids,your husband,us,others all around you. I know that you are in pain,but hang on. Hold on to everything that you can think of. I know that you are tired of it all,but hold on to us,and we are holding on to you desperately. Love never fails,never...never. Hold on. You can hold on. You will strengthen. I'm holding your hand. My hand won't let go. BF:hug::hug::hug::grouphug:

[Nik-key]

Denise, I am so deeply sorry you are in so much pain. You know the ironic thing is I have had training in the past on suicide prevention, for part of my training to be a support group leader for my disease. yet ALL of that went out the window the day my Dad took his life.

I no longer know what is right and what is wrong to say to someone that is feeling as you are. I don't believe in signs any more, my Dad gave me none. My whole belief system is gone. All I can now do is speak from the heart and hope I do more good than harm.

You are talking to us, keep talking, keep sharing, we DO care. I wont pretend to know how you feel, I can't possibly know. I do however know how it feels to hurts so horribly that you just don’t think you can stay here one more second. Alffe has said something that is very true for me as well. When our loved ones took their lives, they took away that out for us. As knowing the unbearable pain their suicide caused us, we could never hurt our loved ones in this way. That reason alone is what kept me here the days following my Dad’s suicide.

This is so very hard for me to write to you, as I would have given ANYTHING to have helped my Dad. I would have given him my life, if it could have spared his pain, and now ...me this pain. I read your post and the first thing I thought was..... if my Dad posted on a board like this, what would people have said to him?
I am going to say to you, what I would have wished for someone to say to my Dad.

You are loved greatly. More than you can possibly truly know.

Your life, your love, is the single most important thing in this world to someone.

They need you desperately.

If you are hurting, talk to those who love you, share your pain.

Give them a chance to help you. They would do anything to keep you here to love.

I know you must be hurting beyond belief to be thinking about ending it all,
but please know that suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem.

Keep trying! Keep fighting! Please, PLEASE…… don't go......don't go

Denise, keep fighting!! Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying ' I will try again tomorrow'
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers~ Nikki

[Av8rgirl]

http://sl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/884/884031rm49wo5p6v.gif


Hi Denise

So many others have said so many kind words. I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and wanted to say hello and let you know that I am listening to you, too.

:hug:

[Burntmarshmallow]

Denise .I hope you are letting the doctor know how you feel each time you go.Remember I told you last time to let them know how much your head was hurting and after you told them they gave you somethng for head aches and feeling sick in your tummy they gave you something to help with that...well you need to let them know each time how you feel, so they can help you better .Talking with Doc is so importian . Make sure your drinking and eating healthy and getting rest. Most of all keep fighting ! :hug: your children ,d.h. your family friends and all of us here know you can get threw this. we care about you and are here to help you .
Please know your in our thoughts and prayers. :grouphug:


http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm118/BMW1CLASSIC/MJZ617.gif

[Doody]

(((Denise))) Praying for you as well. :heartthrob:

http://dl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/933/933121xb1xbiuu92.gif (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)

[who moi]

((((denise))))

[Brokenfriend]

Denise. Don't be in despair. Things will pan out. Things have a way of working out. Keep getting help. Keep knocking. Keep going. Keep getting up. We are backing you up. People are praying for you. You are the Apple of Gods eyes. We love you. I love you. Please keep getting treated. Please keep communicating with your doctors. Hang on. Please keep us posted. BF

[Brokenfriend]

Please Sweetie. I love you. Don't go. You where on the verge of progress.:(

[Brokenfriend]

I hope you feel better soon. It must be very hard for you right now,but you hang in there. You should feel better soon. We love you. BF:hug:

[Doody]

(((Denise))) I hope you are able to check in soon. Everyone here cares about you very much. :hug:

[Brokenfriend]

You are family,and you can tell us whats bothering you. You can vent,or say most anything. Keep trying to get help. Don't give up. You are precious. BF:hug::hug::hug:

[Brokenfriend]

I'm continuing to think about you. Don't give up hope. There is hope. Sometimes these things take time,and God gives us power to endure. BF:hug:

[Brokenfriend]

How are you doing? Please let us know when you can. BF:hug:

[Burntmarshmallow]

Denise I wish you would come and post here this is the best place to be when you are fighting your way back into better times, fighting you for you
Your like family :grouphug:.
I hope you are still reaching and taking those steps one at a time.
I pray Gods Angels are around you guiding your every step with strength and healing kindness so you can soon find your way threw this difficult time in your life. your a great mother and friend Hug those little ones for me.
And remember we are here for you . Hope you check in soon ..here or the depression forum. much peace wished for you Denise. :hug:
BMW

[Brokenfriend]

Please come here to post. There will be more support here. Bless you girl. Keep taking small steps forward. BF:hug:

[who moi]

Denise,

not sure what is going on...but there are a lot of folks that care about you...

it is good to let out your struggles...

I have no wise words...but I think many are here to listen...

[Denise Diaz]

sorry i havent posted in here in a long time. but with the ect i forgot alot of things including this post so i am so sorry i am still so sad and i dont know how to fix it i am affraid for my life i am terrified. i still am trying to look into vns i am done ect that has done nothing for me but make my life worse i love all you guys and thank you for your support and understanding and for yous not judging me thank you so much:grouphug:

[Brokenfriend]

I'm sorry that the ect treatment didn't help. Another member,and I have been talking about our concern with the ect treatments. They have not been helpful to another member who had those treatments also. Maybe the vns treatment will help.

You have been very brave,and patient. Keep trying to get the vns,or other treatments that can help. Love ya. BF:hug::hug::hug:

[tamiloo]

Hey Hun...nothing to be sorry for...hey we are a family...unconditional!!!

You take care of you and try to keep us updated.
http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/jj281/olhipie/Hugs/Poohuggingtigger3.gif

[Nik-key]

Denise, I was glad to see you had posted, but am so sorry to learn
the treatments haven't been working. Lifting you up in prayer that
the next treatment you try works well for you :hug:

[Brokenfriend]

Keep us informed about how work goes on Tuesday. We are here for you. I hope that it goes well. BF:hug::grouphug::)

[who moi]

hope it goes well on Tues (not really sure what is happening but thanks to Brokenfriend for keep on informing us. :) )

will be keeping you in our thoughts...

(((HUGS)))