Can I ever trust people again?

[almondface]

Hi. This is my first post so I'll just introduce myself.

I come from Singapore and as a child, I suffered child abuse, causing me having PTSD. Actually, it was just discovered recently from my suppressed memories. As a result, I have been having nightmares and its common for me to wake up with tears.

I'm also seeing a psychologist for counselling, as she said that medications is not necessary for me. So my main problem is that I have difficulties trusting people and getting the help that I need. And the worst thing was that the perpetrator of the abuse is my family member, that I'm forced to live with now.

I really wonder if I can ever trust people again...
This is also my first time sharing my story with people besides my psychologist.

[Alffe]

Welcome to NeuroTalk almondface. I'm so sorry for the abuse you have suffered and are continuing to suffer.:hug: I think you'll find these forum a great place for support and to learn about trust. I'm glad you've joinned us.

[weegot5kiz]

Hello Almond, glad you found us, sorry for the reasons, I am going to leave a link for the PTSD forum and when you go to this forum you may notice a sub forum, look around explore and ask questions, you will find many helpful and kind people here, again welcome to NT


http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum98.html ptsd forum

[Kitty]

Hi and welcome to NeuroTalk! I'm so glad you found the site and have decided to join us. I'm so sorry for the abuse you've suffered and I hope that by posting here you'll find that this forum is a safe place to share your feelings.

[Darlene]

http://dl8.glitter-graphics.net/pub/991/991898em4n0426wn.gif (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)

Hello and welcome to NeuroTalk. Great to see you have come to be with us. Just let us know if we can be of any help.

Again welcome, looking forward to seeing you around.

Darlene :hug:

[phoenix7]

Hi Almondface and welcome,

I was abused as a child and was in a very violent situation - I shut out all those memories and recently they started coming back - it can feel like you are experiencing the same thing over again - what I tell myself then is that I survived it in the past and I can survive it now because it's not happeneing now - if I wake up in the night I have to turn the light on and sometimes I will get up and watch tv or read or just lay there reminding myself that I am ok and that the persons in the dream are not there now.

You say you are living with the person who abused you? does your family know about this? Is there another family member you can stay with? As to trust - it took me a long time and a lot of work before I could let anyone back in to my world - my psychologist has helped me with this and I hope yours can help you - you deserve to have a happy life and I hope things improve for your soon. Phoenix7

[BJ]

The trust issue still remains, and at times I’m on the alert in certain situations. For when I built such a special friendship with a group of friends prior to becoming so ill with depression, and losing all of them, it was enormously devastating.

They say that people with resilience harness inner strength and rebound more quickly. I want to rid of trust issues and the feelings of ‘victimization’. I’ve had these issues for almost my entire life; but I don’t want to dwell anymore, I just want to be able to face challenges better. I don’t want to forever be smothered by memories and thoughts and issues. But I’m having a hard time understanding how my dad could do those things, how the mental health people, who are supposed to be on your side, can do things and get away with it.

PTSD is still stigmatized. It’s the invisible brain injury. You are not missing an eye or a leg or arm, so people assume that you are just whining. They don’t understand how it can incapacitate you.

And having others minimize your suffering is one definite issue I have had, that feeds my similar trust issue. But then people ask you why you isolate yourself??

It’s hard for me to trust, because to offer true friendship, I am offering up this very fragile self and I am trusting that the other person won’t abuse that self, or carelessly harm me. I’m trying to do that less and less, because so few people understand the effects of these events have had on me as a social person.

I go to visit my parents and my brother’s graves every chance I get. I go and forgive my dad and I talk to all of them. If they were still here, they’d understand, they’d be here for me, of that I’m sure.

I bought this for my brother and I’m going to put it on his grave today. If he was alive today, he’d be pitching for the NY Yankees, it was his dream.

http://shop.mlb.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2370499&cp=1452360.1452534.1956222

[FranksAngel]

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo158/biueangel22462/30-Angel.jpg

Welcome to NeuroTalk almondface. am sorry to hear about your childhood ... trust issues are always hard to resolve ... time and support is the answer ... you will find there are lots of supportive friendly people here ... again ... welcome to NT ... hope to see you in some chats

[almondface]

Hello Everyone.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I greatly appreciate it. Usually, my greatest struggle is the choice whether I can trust. And the greatest irony is that, I can share my thoughts openly here, yet I cannot find someone whom I can really trust and depend on in reality. That is what bothers me.

To Me BP and pheonix7, I feel that I can empathetise with your situation because there is always this internal struggle inside us to "recover", as well as regaining our self-esteem. On my good days, I can often tell myself that I have to gain control of my life and to get out of the learned helplessness cycle. However, the bad days often throw me into a bottomless pit. I guess, what I've learnt is to be kinder to myself and focusing on the positive, instead of negative.

I also have a personal blog, so just feel free to message me if you're interested in reading. Once again, I would like to thank everyone for their comments.

[phoenix7]

Hi Almondface,

It sounds like yuo are making progress on your journey, I am glad for that - I hope you find someone you can trust soon - I saw 2 psychologists before I found the third one - when I met him there was something about him that told me I could trust him - I don't know what or why - I just knew - and he has taught me to trust again - only one or two people but at least that's a start - and talking here - allows you to say what you truly feel to people who are going through or have been going through the same thing and that helps too - take care - I wish you well. Phoenix7

[Mirror1]

Hi. This is my first post so I'll just introduce myself.

I come from Singapore and as a child, I suffered child abuse, causing me having PTSD. Actually, it was just discovered recently from my suppressed memories. As a result, I have been having nightmares and its common for me to wake up with tears.

I'm also seeing a psychologist for counselling, as she said that medications is not necessary for me. So my main problem is that I have difficulties trusting people and getting the help that I need. And the worst thing was that the perpetrator of the abuse is my family member, that I'm forced to live with now.

I really wonder if I can ever trust people again...
This is also my first time sharing my story with people besides my psychologist.

Dear Almondface,
Whatever happened to you is not your fault. You are not the problem, the abuser is the one who is less than and has the problem. I too grew up in an abusive family and it made me very angry and doubt my self worth. Years later, I get that it was never about me. There is nothing I could have done to anticipate the abuse. I have found that I have a family of "origin" and a family of "choice" and I chose to be around much healthier people. I have trust issues as well, but I try to mirror and be what I want to attract in my life. I try to be the trust and integrity that I want in my relationships because I know that the fear of distrust could attract exactly what I don't want in my life. You are strong. Keep believing in the good in people and being the good. We are all here to help.

[DM]

Hello Mirror! I see that this is your first post, so want to welcome you to NeuroTalk. You might want to put a thread in the New Members Introduction Forum. That way more members will see it and can welcome you, too.

Please take a look around and make yourself at home. Glad you found us.

http://dl6.glitter-graphics.net/pub/945/945076uyzon4w470.gif (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)

[(Broken Wings)]

Dear Almondface,
Whatever happened to you is not your fault. You are not the problem, the abuser is the one who is less than and has the problem. I too grew up in an abusive family and it made me very angry and doubt my self worth. Years later, I get that it was never about me. There is nothing I could have done to anticipate the abuse. I have found that I have a family of "origin" and a family of "choice" and I chose to be around much healthier people. I have trust issues as well, but I try to mirror and be what I want to attract in my life. I try to be the trust and integrity that I want in my relationships because I know that the fear of distrust could attract exactly what I don't want in my life. You are strong. Keep believing in the good in people and being the good. We are all here to help.

:)
I copied your post to the new member introductions.

Here is the link:

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/newthread.php?do=postthread&f=88

[Darlene]

http://dl6.glitter-graphics.net/pub/2152/2152746yj3pgmwqt3.gif (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)
Welcome to NeuroTalk. Great to see you have come to be with us. Just let us know if we can be of any help. We are all here to assist each other as possible.

Again welcome, looking forward to seeing you around.

Darlene:hug:

[Challenge143]

and I don"t feel that you will ever forget what happenen, its a matter
of whether or not we let it ruined our lives. I refuse to let it ruin mine anymore.. and have learned to go through the more positive side of things then the negative, and that has realy helped me move forwrd. those thoughts will always be there.. and i still dont trust anyone.. I mailnly
keep myself at a distantance from all i dont trust. I wish the best of luck.. my father is dead now... and i am so relieved that he can never do any more
damamge to anyone like he did to me. b est of luck to you hun. keep your chin up. Diane

[aaronflo]

You should of course trust people but be cautious with them, never trust anybody 100%

[emjhay]

Hello there, yeah it is nice to try to trust someone again, it will help you move on to a new chapter of your life. Let time heal those pain.

[phoenix7]

its true we never forget - except when the memories are buried - its ok not to forget - wiht time - the memories become less painful - and we learn what we can from them -

we learn to trust again - we have to be careful who - but we do learn - we try to move on - grow and leave the past behind - we never forget but we can learn from it and move on

take care MBC:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: