View Full Version : Been in hell, took me time to find my way here.
09-09-2006, 09:34 AM
Hi all............Just found my way back here. It's been a hell of a summer.
My husband assaulted me at our pool complex in July, with lots of witness's.
He hit me in the head with a beer bottle, then my chair went over and I hit my head on the cement.
To make a long story short. He was arrested, let out. He had his pre-trial, but didn't bother to get a lawyer or public defender, so it was post poned until this coming Tuesday.
There is an Order of Protection in place by the judge when he was arrested which is only good until this is over, plus I filed my own against him, it is good for 1 year. This isn't the first time, he has 2 prior's from when we lived back East. I got the paperwork to bring to court on those. They have my medical reports from the first time court was supposed to be.
I am going to a Woman's Center seeing a case manager, learning a lot about abusive relationships, and getting support.
I have post-concussion syndrome, headaches, dizzy, fatigue, unable to concentrate, memory loss short term, you have to look it up, can't explain it all. Been to the ER right afterwards and my hardware (plate and screws from 2 level fusion) in my c-spine looked in tact as far as an X-ray, plus they did a Cat Scan of my head.
Now I have to go back again to my PCP on Monday for stronger pain meds, and she has ordered a MRI of my HEAD and NECK.
I don't know if he will get jail time, it may be reduced jail time, and a monitering program, and some class's that are really a joke, because abusers are masters of manipulation and pass with flying colors. He has already been to class's back East for Anger mgmt that the court ordered, obiviosly it did no good, he was on probation for a year at that time.
My mom is doing well. She has a check on the other artery in Oct.
It's been one hell of a year and then this. I am trying to cope as best as I can. I will never go back to him now, they don't change, only 2% I learned.
So here I am, have to catch up with everyone.
I am so glad that you have decided that you are going to just take care of yourself.
If I may ask...
where is he?
Has he gotten his stuff out?
I am sorry that you are having these post symptoms...has the doctor said that these will go away in time?
glad that your hardware is ok...that would have been terrible if it had been damaged.
Glad to hear that your mum is doing ok...
IT HAS BEEN a hello of a year for you!
09-09-2006, 12:47 PM
Hi ho Nikko!
Thank goodness you are making it through, somehow. I wish you every drop of strength the universe can muster. I wish I could blow your pain away, both emotional and physical.
I am so glad you are seeing someone and participating in support therapy.
I can't wait for all this court stuff to be over, and the legal situation more clear. You must be protected from him.
Glad your mom is doing well too. I hope she is being supportive in whatever way she can.
hugggs ~ waves ~
p.s. how are the dawgs?
09-09-2006, 02:33 PM
Hi, and Thanks................Yes, mostly everything of his is gone, I packed it up and put it outside for someone to pick up. He was out of here that horrible day.
All I know is he is living with a couple he works with. I don't know where. His job is temp (seasonal) so it will be over in Oct.
He has no car, so how he is getting to school, I don't know, nor do I care.
He never had a car, except when I bought him one, and then we got re-ended, and then the truck I co-signed for but he didn't keep up the payments or insurance when we were separated the 1st time and they repo'd it. He doesn't even have a checking account, because he screwed some bank.
I gave him everything! No word of a lie. He used me. Not once, but twice, am I stupid or what? He hasn't kept a real job since we moved here.
He would go in when he pleased and left when he pleased, so his checks were like a part timer, got away with it because he is a temp. On top of that they let him leave early on nights he had class's.
Here are some of the things that also happened:
1. Broke my rear view mirror in MY car.
2. When I asked about a trial separation he said he would smash everything in the house.
3. Took one of my dogs neck and said he would snap it.
4. Put a whole in the island in the kitchen, and a crack in the cabinet, because the dogs knocked over a plant. Yelled at my mom because she didn't hear the dogs do it. We are talking about a small pile of potting soil!
5. Would put me up against a wall or corner.
6. Called me 3 to 4x a day (control factor)
This is all prior to the pool episode. There is more, but you get the picture.
09-10-2006, 04:09 PM
These guys are like child molesters they never are rehabilitated. I hate to be so harsh but why did you go back to him? I would move away where he couldn't find you and get counseling so you feel good about your self and never ever get involved with another one of these beasts. If you have children they have a good chance of becoming a victim or a batterer. RUN RUN RUN
09-10-2006, 07:37 PM
i don't know what to say but i'm here. (((((( Nikko ))))))
~ waves ~
09-11-2006, 10:03 AM
I got involved again because I hadn't been diagnosed as BP and was only on anti-depressants.
I thought he had changed. I was a fool.
There are no children, Thank God.
I am stronger now, and I always said he would never rip me apart again emotionally.
Tomorrow is court, so we will see what happens to him, I dread going, but I really need to be there.
Today I see my PCP for the post concussion, and get stronger meds, and find out when my MRI is of my head and neck.
Oh, what a week this is going to be........................
09-11-2006, 12:27 PM
hey good luck with court tomorrow - be strong - if you start feeling tears... maybe try to rechannel to anger... i often find one can flow into the other.
boy, you know, i'm sooo proud of you for standing up for yourself! I know how hard it is. i failed to do it once myself, more than once, and with the same person. different sort of abuse, but abuse no less. i totally understand how you could take him back, they have "hooks" the bastards... and we have... i don't know but, hypomania or not, i sure do "get it."
stand strong tomorrow, i know you can. you have been. i will be thinking of you and sending you every drop of hope, and every bit of whatever it was it took for me to finally take a distance from the jerk in my past.
i'm so glad for the DV counselor too. I didn't do that - probably would have helped sooner.
big huge but gentle hugs.
~ waves ~
09-11-2006, 01:47 PM
Good luck tomorrow - it's too bad he's out of jail already - they should lock him up and throw away the key - or put all men like that on a deserted island somewhere - and NOT a nice island, either ;) .
Double hugs, Jacquie
09-11-2006, 09:03 PM
Well tomorrow will determine if he goes to jail or not. I do have my input with the prosecutor.
Yet it is the State vs my husband. I have more medical records to bring, my MRI of my c-spine is Monday and right after a Cat Scan of the Brain done with contrast dye. I have the paperwork on his prior's from back East too.
I dread tomorrow, but it will be over soon enough, no more waiting. If he gets just a slap on the wrist for this, like the monitering program, I will be upset, because if he goes through that with no problems (as they all do because they are masters of manipulation) the charges will be dropped. Plus he already went through a program back East. They are all a JOKE< only 2 percent of men change, sad isn't it? But true.
They upped me to a stronger pain med too, see how it works.
I will be up early with the nerves, but I can take my anti-anxiety pill. Once I am there and it's all started, I'll be okay, I hope.
If he decides to let this go to trial, UGHHHHHHHHHHHH there are too many witness's and he would be a fool, plus the police took pictures at the scene.
He will be wasting people's time and then some.
I bet he is going to try and cop a plea, in fact I can feel it. He will probably plead guilty and then get reduced jail time and the monitering system or whatever it is. It's not fair, he could of killed me.
Maybe with them seeing my medical records and the prior's from back East will make a difference, lets hope so.
Going to try and sleep tonight, I'll be up early early, I know it.
Almost time for Axcess Hollywood, then Prison Break I love that show, no pun intended.
Talk to you before I go in the morning, my time, or when I get back, they go in alphabetical order, so our last name is in the beginninng of the alphabet, hopefully it will be over fast.
Oh I do hope you can sleep tonight.
thinking of you nikko....
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