View Full Version : Does Your PM Dismiss You Due To Being Female??
11-17-2006, 07:59 PM
Every month when I see my Pm I complain about the constant unrelenting
pain ( over 2 years) so this month I took my dh (an ex marine Vietnam vet) and this time
they listened....he chewed them out for leaving me in pain all this
time and they doubled my Kadian and agreed with dh ( after he pinned
him down) that every month they will increase or change my pain meds and
that the pain pump will be an option if the oral meds don't control my
pain! I am so relieved but I am also sad and angry that they will only listen to
him and not me! I have cried a river and spoke calmly and they blow me off and its not right! I just wonder how many women go through this??
I have a friend that also has to take her dh with her to see the doctor.
I also wonder how the male pt's are treated....maybe it is all about taking someone with you that can and will back up your claims of excess pain??
I would like to hear from others that are in pain management for chronic pain.
11-17-2006, 11:59 PM
Good job on the weight loss http://chocolate-moose.p5.org.uk/MINIS/yourock.gif
My pain management doctor was actually the director of the pain management center. He was a total @$$ until I had my primary care physician intervene. She was the director of the women's health center.
I think a lot of doctors devalue women and ignore what they say. I actually went to a doctor once and told him I couldn't take a particular drug because it didn't agree with me. He actually took his pen and crossed out the label and said "there, you can take it now". Needless to say, I never went back to that guy :mad:
I think that a conversation really needs to be had between the patient and the devaluing doctor. If that can't be done, someone to step in -- like your husband did, like my doctor did might very well help. If it doesn't continue to help, I would HAVE THE CONVERSATION -- either you treat me with respect or I'm gone.
We pay these people to take care of us. If I were paying someone to clean my house and they weren't cleaning what I wanted them to clean, I would fire their @$$. Same thing with an arrogant doctor -- work with me or PINK SLIP.
It's an absolute abomination that any doctor would leave a patient in tears like you have been. I know what that feels like. When I was younger, I always figured "the doctor knew best". Now, I know **I KNOW BEST**.
Don't take any more crap. You don't have to. Hugs.
11-18-2006, 08:40 AM
While I have not been given the you don't know what you are talking about speech, I have gotten the it isn't that bad talk. My PM always thinks when I say I am in pain that I want a steroid shot and says that I can only get them every two weeks.:rolleyes: Maybe when I see him on Wednesday, we can fix that. I am not sure he totally understands the overall pain of FM.
11-18-2006, 08:57 PM
I am very blessed. I found my pm doc eight years ago, and he has always listened to me. We did alot of different mixing and up meds but finally it has paid off. He truly understands the pain I'm in and don't know what I would do if something ever happened to him.
I do understand where you are coming from though, cause before I found him, I went through several docs that wouldn't listen to me.
I'm glad you are finally going to get the pain relief that you deserve but wish it hadn't come to having to take your husband. He should have listened to you in the first place.
I am fortunate too with my PM doc...Although at our first appt I layed out the ground rules...I had just come from a hospital PM doc that was a bully. Besides telling me that he did not write scripts, he interferred with my drugs and would not allow certain drugs. He wrote letters to my pcp and told him what to prescribe. When I asked my pcp for Topamax instead of Neurontin and he sent a report telling my pcp not to prescribe it just because he had a preference for one over the other...I fired him....He could not give me a good reason not to take Topamax, just that he liked Neurontin better...
So when I met with the PM doc I have now I told him if he tried to force me to take a certain drug, I would walk...and I let him know that my spinal problems were extensive and we both knew he would be seeing me for a very long time and he would be making lots of money from my condition. He agreed and laughed...I went on to tell him I did not want opiates ...and he told me I was his favorite kind of patient....
11-22-2006, 11:05 AM
Boy oh, Boy do i know what your talking about. But in addition to being a woman, im also only 17 years old. Which must mean i have NO idea what's going on and what treatments are right for me. (heavy sarcasm). If i go to the doctor by myself he tries to trick me into getting on antidepressants and talking to a shrink. But last time i had my best friend, who happens to be a 200 lb football player, come with me, and well, he didnt try to bully me into anything that time haha.
And i dont think ive introduced myself to this board yet, but im Anna, and ive had RSD/CRPS for almost 2 years now... So hey!!!
11-25-2006, 05:58 PM
There are lots of people in this world who react to different people for different reasons. My last miserable pain management doctor is from a certain nationality of people who consider females to be a lesser people. I won't say what that nationality is. It took me a while before I noticed that his personality around male patients was noticably different. Thank God I finally realized that he was not the doctor for me!!!
11-25-2006, 07:02 PM
I am glad to see it is not just in my head....and my gf said she always takes her dh for this very reason (we live deep in the south where men are greater then women...in their minds of course) so until I can find a doc to take over my meds I guess I will drag dh to each visit:(
Thanks for sharing your experiences with me:)
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