View Full Version : crying jag second night in a row
My anxiety levels are through the roof.
I did not want to move.
I told him I wanted to stay where we were.
Then when we moved we had chaos.
Friend came over the last two nights and referred and helped.
We have too much stuff in the place.
Hubby is a pack rat -- so bad that it bothers him when I toss an item.
And hubby''s anxiety levels are high as well because his baseline is anxious along with an OCD-like trait (undiagnosed because when he saw three different counselors in the span of a few years he did not tell them about the quantities of stuff he gets and keeps).
I am sorry for this mari, really I am .
How can you insist that he throw some things away?
I hope that you have a room that you get to call your own?????
I hope that you can sleep somemore tonight...
I hear your frustration....
08-17-2009, 12:14 AM
Sending you some hugs mari.
08-17-2009, 12:37 AM
:hug: Mari :hug:
I try to keep myself stable and functioning.
And I have to work every minute of the day to be stable and functioning.
It's a lot of work.
I do my best.
I'm exhausted by the work.
Sometimes the stable and functioning bit comes apart.
I don't know what to do.
08-17-2009, 10:21 PM
Thinking of you
08-18-2009, 01:07 PM
can you just curl up in bed and turn off the lights? this has been an incredible shock to your system and I think you need to hibernate until some of the stress wears off. Then gradually you will be able to stabilize.
I begged off work today and stayed home and slept.
I just woke up from a long nap.
Sleep feels good.
08-18-2009, 04:59 PM
I am so glad you did it...you might need a few more days for your body to recover from the shock. DON'T FEEL GUILTY. it is so hard for us to believe that we have a real illness!
08-18-2009, 05:17 PM
Bobby is so right. Take the time you need.
I know its hard for me to believe I have any illness. Let alone
the kind that everyone here is dealing with.
I love ya Mari, and wish I could take the pain.
08-18-2009, 05:58 PM
I hope you don't feel the least bit guilty that moving aggravated your condition. Moving has been identified, with bereavement and divorce, as one on the most stressful things anyone can go through.
I too live with a packrat. I wish I had something useful to tell you about how to deal with this problem. My husband is so bad that during our moves, he has tossed away (without permission) my meager possessions so there would be more room for his junk. And I mean junk – I swear he’s got the kidney stone he passed he 1985! Clearly this is some sort of disorder and I try to be patient, but at some stage it’s just a fire hazard, plain and simple. Sometimes I have dreams where I’m completely buried in his back issues of Time Magazine. My Kingdom for a backhoe!
08-18-2009, 07:09 PM
Oh Mari, I am so sorry you're having a hard time with this move, I know how hard it is to move and uproot everything, I felt bad for awhile after we moved in here. It wasa definite shock. There's nothing I can offer but a strong shoulder to lean on so you vent away. Venting helps I think. So don't hold back. :)
Hope you get some more good rest tonight. :)
Moving is so chaotic Mari and my heart goes out to you. I too hope you are able to get some good sleep tonight in your new home :hug:
I appreciate everyone talking to me here.
From my birth to 6th grade I moved 10 times when my father moved with the military.
So I was used to moving and my mother and father and we kids got pretty good at it. We got settled in immediatey because we knew we were moving again.
Hubby does not seem to have the same time line I have.
I want the boxes out and the extra furniture out and I want some space. I also want some space of my own.
And the kitchen is not finished yet -- no counter and NO SINK!!!
He has not even the plugged in the portable microwave (:confused: )
We eat out, take out, or eat out of the fridge -- while climbing over each other.
We started back to work on Monday /yesterday.
I don't see how will are going to work while struggling around boxes and climbing over stuff.
I need help to do this. I am not as capable as he is.
I really need his help.
I want him to help me.
And the place seems so small and cramped.
I hope that it will grow larger once the boxes are out.
And my parents visit on Labor Day weekend. :eek:
They will be staying in a hotel but I am HOPING that they will take pity on us and work on some boxes. (I don't know why I wrote that. I'm not able to see their helping us.)
08-19-2009, 02:50 AM
Sending some comfort food, what ever is your favorite.
Mine would probably be chocolate, but my diet says no way!
I wish I were close enough to come help unpack some boxes.
I would jump on a plane, but I wouldn't have a clue were to
go. Or were I'd end up. And I have a habit of getting lost.
Dont think anyone wants a Donna, to show up uninvited, and especially one that gets lost.
Come visit anyway.
I live an airport and you can come sit while I unpack. That would be helpful. Maybe you could tell stories while I move stuff around.
He's a pack rat but I am a slob and get overwhelmed very easy.
Instead of dealing with bills and other paper work, I put them in a box and leave them for a few years. Then I start another box.
And so on. Same with other stuff.
I just found my social security card and my birth certificate -- both had been lost for years. That is some good news. Now I can apply for a passport and take a trip. :cool:
Right now I need to get rid of my stuff because it is causing distress. I want to lighten my load a lot.
08-19-2009, 03:09 AM
HOnestly I am in the mood to jump on a plane and come visit. So don't
I need a vacation, I'm going to see if my mom and or sisters can work
out going together somewhere. We did that a few years ago.
I don't really have the money, but to heck with it. The hubby is the
packrat in lots of things. It comes natural from his family.
I love nic nacs, and dolls and things. And have lots of things I need
to find a way to either thin out selling it. Or put on ebay.
Which is going to happen. If the person looking at the building up town
doesn't buy it. I'm going to hold him to his promise of letting me have
it. And then I'll work to make my dream come true.
I'll explain if I get the building.
We made some progress.
I woke up and found that he had put shelf paper down in the kitchen cabinets and unpacked two boxes.
He had been overwhelmed by the kitchen boxes and couldn't see his way to dealing with them. Two nights ago he and I started vacuuming out the dust and putting shelf paper down. Then we had a conversation about the logical places to put the food stuff and the dishes.
So this morning he made a little progress while I was sleeping.
It sounds like you are working together bit by bit
to get some things put away.
where do you want to go over seas
on your dream vacation now that you can get a pass port?
HOw about a ladies trip to paris?
We can fantasize can't we?
08-19-2009, 04:49 PM
i am a pack rat
but a meticulous organizer
and i get overwhelmed by having too much stuff around.
i need some "clear space"
then having nifty corners with organized nicknacks and stuff - i love that...
but i need like, a coffee table with no more than 2 items on it (like a pen and a notepad or, the book i am reading right then)
side tables with nothing but lamps on them. with ROOM on them to set down a remote control, or a glass or a plate, or a book or anything else... in transit only, however!
i also need another kind of space - storage space to store my packratty stuff. as well as the overwhelming stuff... the bills that pile up and i don't file them meticulously on time. that end up in a bag because i can't stand them on the table any more because i want the table clear.
i am glad you guys made some progress with the kitchen. it sounds like you both need to have these little meetings about how things are to be organized so hubby has a "path" to follow, and gradually things will clear up. literally.
((( hugs )))
~ waves ~
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