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Very Concerned Mum

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Unread 12-02-2008, 10:59 AM   #11
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: almost New York
Posts: 210

I would start here.
Child & Adolescent Mental Health 9382 4347
Family counselling, group programs, parent education,
individual counselling, medication

NSW Department of Health
(apparently they have a children and adolecent mental health referral program)
Street address:
73 Miller Street
North Sydney NSW 2060
02 9391 9000

(Also have referral and provider list information)
Mental Health Information Service - 1300 794 991
email - info@mentalhealth.asn.au

WAYS Youth Services 9365 2500
Waverley Action for Youth Services (WAYS)
Comprehensive service for young people 11–25yrs.
Services include education, recreation, outreach,
counselling, employment and case management

Multicultural Disability Advocacy
Association of NSW 1800 629 072
• We work together with people with disability,
families and the community to promote, protect and
secure the rights and interests of people from a non
English speaking background with a disability and
their families and carers across NSW
• Education and training/support groups

He can be such a sweet, happy little boy when he wants to be but I am starting to suspect that he really does hate me Nothing delights him more than being as hurtful as he can. When he is screaming that he hates me I always respond with "well I love you" and he only gets angrier and he will say "no you have to hate me" but no matter what he says or does, I could never!!
Don't ever think he hates you. He may say it, he may even feel it at times, but he doesnt. I remember feeling that exact same way day after day. What it is is a child who has never been able to hold a normal thougth process, deal with things and have the ability of maintaining control, and dealing with all of that anger and confusion without understanding why or being able to process a way to fix it. He is frustrated, scared, angry, lonely, and depressed all at the same time, and - old saying but very true - misery loves company. He needs help, and is extremely lucky to have a mum that is determined to get it for him! Just you wait! A year from now you will be here encouraging new parents going through exactly what you have, and sharing your family's story of the road from hell to stablity!

Last edited by Bdix; 12-02-2008 at 11:20 AM. Reason: Added a PS
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Mari (12-03-2008)
Unread 12-02-2008, 08:30 PM   #12
Miss Positive
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 6

Mari thank you so much for taking the time to find/post this info. My google skills are not what they could be!

I have a lot of research to do and calls to make today

What a fantastic community of warm and supportive people I am so glad to have found you and grateful you've all made me feel so welcome.

Bobi I have sent you a pm and thank you again for these contacts.
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Bdix (12-03-2008), Mari (12-03-2008)
Unread 12-03-2008, 05:10 AM   #13
Miss Positive
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 6

Hi again everyone. The time difference sees me posting at such odd hours. It's 8.45pm Wednesday night here and one of those rare moments of peace Just thought I'd post a bit of an update.

After every REALLY bad day, we usually have a couple of good/fair ones and yesterday was fantastic We had such a great time building pop stick creations (even if his were "weapons", the paint work was good ). I had hoped today would be another fair day and wanted to enjoy it while it lasted before making the necessary calls- I feel like such a fool.

This afternoon I had to take a bathroom break and on my return, my dear little boy, who not an hour before, had been lovingly spoon feeding his pup, had snuck out the back and had the poor thing pinned to the ground punching it repeatedly It was not entirely the vicious act that made me cry, but the cold smile on his face while he was doing this. Call me a horrible mother, but for a fleeting second I actually wished that poor pup would turn and bite him!

I am so committed to making as many calls as needed in the morning. In the meantime, I wonder how much small boys are going for on ebay... it's been such a trying evening I could be tempted tonight!! I am of course only joking, I do that when I'm feeling a bit down. Sometimes if we don't laugh we can only cry I still wouldn't part with him for all the money in the world, heaven knows why
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Bdix (12-03-2008)
Unread 12-03-2008, 09:33 AM   #14
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: almost New York
Posts: 210

I can remember so many times that I was almost scared of what my son was capable of. I also remember during the "nice" times how guilty I felt about thinking something was wrong with him; but there was and deep down I always knew it. Sometimes I'd even be afraid to enjoy the good times because I knew a bad time was right around the corner. (And when my younger son was born I was scared to death; but thankfully he was always kind to his brother) And then during those times where his behavior would push me over the edge and I'd be harsh with him I'd spend the next week feeling horrible because I also knew that he could not control what he was doing....vicious circle.

The popsicle sticks project sounds fun! My son hated to do anything that required fine motor at that age, but I remember we used to do a lot of playdoh activities and a lot of cooking in the kitchen. You will have so many more peaceful activity time with him once they start him on treatment.

By the way, do you journal everything that happens every day? This is a huge help to the doctor. Each time he acts out (anger, sobbing, or cruelty) write down the time, what he was doing right before that, and what happenend while he was out of control. This really is a huge help.

You sound upbeat about the calls in the morning! Thats great! You will get answers soon!
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Unread 12-10-2008, 09:50 AM   #15
Mrs. Bear
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 510

My now 18 year old was a difficult, brilliant and multi-fascited little boy. He is now a very fragile, bipolar young adult.

I never thought in my life that a toddler would truly be bipolar, but now I know better. We had similar adventures when my son was as small as yours. We didn't get help until he was 12 and had his first psychotic episode.

My time is not my own, and I do not usually post, but I want you to know the information and support from these loving people is always well thought out and the best you can get anywhere.

Hang in there momma! You are an amazing woman. And this little man was brought to you to raise because YOU are the one to make the difference that will help him learn to be a young man who happens to have bipolar disorder and also is going to have a wonderful life. I feel that deeply.
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Unread 12-17-2008, 07:17 AM   #16
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My heart goes out to you - It is extremely hard to see someone you love go through so much pain.

I don't know if this will help you but I'll tell you our story. Excuse me if I waffle a bit.

My husband is hyper-bipolar and was diagnosed when he was 21. He's currently medicated. When I met him he was not properly medicated and his moods used to fluctuate quite a bit. To cut a long story short it took him a few years to find a medication that agreed with his body.

When my daughter was born, naturally I was concerned that she might be bipolar too and was, and still am, always on the look out for signs. She never slept as a baby and never ever stopped moving. Then the crying started and just never ever seemed to stop. Again to cut a long story short, I put her on a gluten free diet, which eventually turned into a gluten-free and soy-free diet and since I had to cook everything I also eliminated preservatives. Since this day I have never looked back. I have a happy little daughter.

The wonderful thing was that as our house was a gluten, soy & preservative free house my husband episodes have decreased significantly. It took my husband a good 6 months to stop eating them and realise the connection (he loves his food!). My daughter has managed to get her hands on other kids sandwiches a few times in daycare and it's immediately obvious. She turns into a nasty little thing, with temper tantrum and real mood swings.

We've been on this diet for 1.5 years now and it seems to work for us. My husband and daughter's intolerance to soy seems to run in his family. There is alot of research out there regarding eliminating gluten and casein from your diet (we still eat casein as it doesn't seem to be a problem). My sister is a dietician and she said that this research has now been dismissed. My answer to her - come live in our house - bring your gluten/preservatives with you and see the effect.

3 years ago I never gave a thought to what I put in my body. Food intolerances may be worth a look into for you. It is very very hard at first and very frustrating. The diet my husband has does not replace his medication, it compliments it. My husband and daughter have found the results rewarding. I often wonder if I've gone to extreme measures in eliminating these things from their diet, but you can only do what you believe is best.

I hope this helps in some way. If you do need any more info please let me know.


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Mari (12-17-2008)
Unread 03-04-2009, 10:15 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by Miss Positive View Post
Hi everyone thank you for taking the time to read my post

From a very early age, I have had concerns about my now 4 and a half year old son, and his latest episode of rage has pushed me to seek help. A joke by a dear friend today that my son is "totally Bi-Polar", saw me seeking some serious information on the issue, in turn leading me here. I seek the opinions of parents with Bi-Polar children as to whether my concerns are very real, and if I should seek the advice of a professional. I will certainly do so in any event, should I believe my son is a danger to himself, or others.

Let me start by saying that my son has always been disciplined for unacceptable behaviour in what I believe to be a fair and consistent manner. Despite this, his behaviour has always been horrendous to the point that the other children in the street are not allowed to play with him. Yes, I am guilty of picking my battles however, he has never gotten away with the big issues or been spoilt.

He is so easily frustrated by the smallest misunderstandings, or by being too excited to get his words out fast enough. He obsesses over things like a new toy, and if he can't have it right now he becomes incredibly frustrated. He will try any which way to obtain it, and will not give in until he does. This can last for several weeks until someone finally buys it for him. He will even lie to family members saying things such as "Mum wanted to buy it for me, but she had no money and it made her sad that she couldn't". For a week after we got new neighbours, my son unprovokedly yelled "somebody help me, she is hurting me, somebody help" and once told the lady over the back fence "I am so hungry mum wouldn't give me any breakfast or lunch and I'm starving". As embarassing as these things are, they are the least of my worries, but you can understand how socially isolated I am becoming as his fabrications become increasingly creative.

If my son suspects he's caught out in a lie, he will try to manipulate the situation. If called on it, he will explode with the most vicious, hurtful things he can muster. If he isn't satisfied with the reaction he receives, he will seek out any valued posessions, and destroy them, or attempt to. I am constantly astounded by his intelligence. If only he would use his powers for good!! It is so hard to believe such a young child could be so coldly calculating and deliver these remarks and actions with such intent. He will say "go on, cry mummy, cry". Any kind of sadness or hurt he sees only seems to provoke him more. When asked at times why he's done something, like pull out plants or scratch the new tv or tip out a new bottle of shampoo he will say "because I wanted to make you cry".

In saying that, within 30 seconds he will at times feel overwhelming despair. He will sit down and cry and say things like "I'm stupid, I can't do anything right". My son is far from stupid and has been leaps and bounds ahead developmentally from the age of 6 months. I constantly reassure him, even when he's not feeling down. I provide huge amounts of praise and rewards for good behaviour, which he thrives on.

I am deeply troubled by his anger. He has been violent since he could lift a bottle. He will have fits of rage which can last for hours, almost an entire day at times. During these rages he will physically shake with anger, scream, and turn bright red. He has started punching doors or walls and I've had to restrain from hitting himself in the head or face more than once :'( He once tried to smash his bedroom window which scared the life out of me. What if I hadn't heard the first strike at the glass? What if he had succeeded?

My son dearly loves his pets but we've learnt that he can't be left unsupervised for a second. Take him to feed the ducks and he will try to hit them in the head rather than feed them, fairly normal for a little boy I suppose! Throwing stones at butterflies also pretty normal but trying to seriously injure or kill puppies, cats, birds or lambs is not. He can be so gentle and kind one minute, and so cold the next. We are from a rural area, he's always been exposed to animals and not only does know better, he would never dream of hurting an animal 80% of the time.

Last year my son was hospitalised to have his tonsils removed. When the nurses needed him to take some paracetamol his reply was "if you make me I will kill myself". He literally cannot stand being told what to do. He constantly calls people, including me, "stupid" and "idiot" and genuinely means it. He truly thinks that at 4 years old he knows better than me or any adult. This may sound somewhat strange but at times he will speak to me in great disdain. He continues to spit on me even though he is disciplined every time.

I'm sorry this is such a novel but to be honest I don't have much of a support network. Most of my family and friends stopped visiting and the rest think my son behaves this way because he is spoilt or let run amok. I assure you this is not the case.

Today my son, in a fit of rage, told me that when I go to sleep tonight, he is going to take one of my knives and stab himself in the heart because he wants to die :'( I can't for the life of me work out why such a thing would cross his mind. I love him more than anything in the world and I have learnt to deal with his behaviours- what I can't bare is him being so troubled and unhappy. Surely a small child could not harm himself in this way? I'd much rather not take that risk and I've locked anything sharp in my car but obviously I'm hugely troubled by this announcement.

What I hope to gain from this post is some advice on whether you relate to any of this. Am I imagining ANY malicious intent behind his behaviour? To date this is the only answer I've gotten when appealing to family for advice. The incidents I've mentioned are far from isolated and there are many other concerns I have.

Thank you again for reading and I very much look forward to your input.
ok when i was 12 years of age i would go ito fits of rage too all my mom would do is ignore them until i was calm enough to talk then we would talk about what was making me angry andwe would fix it together so try that if it dosent work tell me what happend ill be glad to help some more
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