New Member - mom of adult daughter with bipolar and addicition problems
I have a 31 yr. old daughter who is bipolar and has addiction problems. This started in HS and she had a son in her senior year. She moved to NC when her son was 3 to live with a man who she knew less than 3 months. Thank God, this guy turned out to be so good. She seemed to be doing well down there - getting married, holding a job, being a mother, but about 3 years ago things started to go down hill. Since then she has been a mess - on drugs, lying, stealing things to sell for drugs, left her husband, totally self absorbed. She checked her self into a psych center after getting a DUI, but then checked herself out after 3 days - I think all of this was for the benefit of the judge. She had a blow machine on her car, which she drove while drinking - again checked herself in and stayed 5 days this time. She moved back home to try and straighten herself out - her son stayed in NC. Seemed to be working on things, but would not get out of a relationship with a man who she did drugs with in NC. He moved to OH and she spent most of her time there, only coming back for doctor's appt. about her meds. One night after both of them got high on alcohol and drugs, he beat her and put her into the hospital. She came home because of the PFA order, but still kept in
touch. She was very unstable and the kicker came when I found out she was pregnant and stole a family member's unused credit card to have an abortion.
She said she couldn't come to me for money because I am so prolife.
I kicked her out of the house and believe it or not, her husband let her move back there - although just to give her a place to live, not to get back together. Now she's crying all upset about the abortion.
My reason for being here? I think what she needs more than anything right now is tough love. So far, everyone else in the family has gone out of their way to help her, but she doesn't put forth any real effort to help herself. Everything is too -o-o-o hard, she says. We keep on thinking that she's hit bottom, and then she ends up sinking even lower. Her son is so angry with her he can barely be in the same room with her. She keeps on saying she is always hurting those she loves.
Anyone else ever been there - on either of our sides - and how did you handle it?
It may help to know that her father is also bipolar and she had to grow up walking on egg shells and watching him tear the family apart.
I'm open to suggestions.