Originally Posted by SDFencer
As you can see from my signature, this month is my 5 year survival of 2 surgeries for aneurysm, 3 strokes, 4 seizures. Aside from being sad all the time a new wrinkle has come in. Trouble walking distances, standing for a long period and all I want to do is sleep. It was just because it was I was so bored sleeping made the day pass but now I am zonked all the time. I can sleep for 4 hours in the afternoon and still fall asleep at 8.
I am seeing a therapist, working with wheelchair fencing staying busy. But I have not met my expectations. I feel like I am such a loser.
One of the worst mistakes we brain aneurysm survivors make is setting artificial deadlines for when something should be be "normal" again. Your comment about feelin like a "loser" tells me that you're being way too hard on yourself. I see that your original post was dated in 2009, so my response isn't exactly timely. Still, it's important for you - and any other survivor who comes to this thread - to realize that every tiny baby bit of progress we make is cause for celebration. Accept where you are at this moment in time.
There are many factors that can play into the fatigue that we all suffer. It's sensible to see a therapist. You may have brain chemistry imbalances that you didn't have before. You may be taking meds that cause you to be drowsy. Having to focus and concentrate on doing things that you used to do without even thinking about it can be exhausting. Heck, even the physical process of your brain healing itself can wear you out.
After my aneurysm ruptured, I couldn't remember how to make a pot of coffee. I kept trying every day until I finally got it right. Then I wrote down the steps so I could do it again. Before aneurysm, I was reading a book by Sigmund Freud. After rupture, I couldn't read Peanuts in the funny papers. I get how devastating it is to feel tired and frustrated all the time. The best thing you can do for yourself is to set aside your preconceived notions of what "normal" looks like. Throw it out! Why would you want to settle for "normal" when you're already somebody special?
Being tired does not make you a "loser." Having to live your life differently than you used to does not make you one, either. There's absolutely nothing about your condition that makes you less than anybody else. The only thing that could possibly make you a loser is if you give up on yourself!
I would argue that you're a WINNER. You're a survivor and a fighter and a miracle!