Blatant disregard for pain in the face of extreme Anger and Despair...
This is my first post or contact with any others living with CRPS -- ever.
I was wondering if any of you suffer from the same moronic affliction that I do. That is, when you get exceedingly angry, frustrated, fed-up, do you do something that you know damn well will aggravate your CRPS? I don't know what to liken it to, perhaps a child acting out even though they know the consequences.
I've been dealing with CRPS for 3.5 years. My doctors remark that the only way I've been able to do so "well" is because I've been looking at it from an academic perspective. That is, I've never seen the point of the "Whoa is me" "Why me?" schtick. If I have an incurable disease, it is what it is and I can only choose to move forward with the treatments that make life bearable--however brutal they may be.
However, in those years of calm, a few times I've snapped. Almost a self-sabotage of sorts. The mindset of "I'm going to hurt anyway, so it might as well be on my own terms for once" takes over. It's almost as if I see red, brain checks out for a split second, and pure emotion unleashes.
For example, I have CRPS in my right arm (typing falls under the painful activities category as well.) Today, I was so enraged during a fight, I threw my keys. It's been years since I threw anything. In fact, from all the atrophy, it was pretty pathetic. I did it, and am now suffering the consequences. Yes, I feel like an idiot. But am I alone?? Insane? How do you explain this to others?
Can anyone else relate?
Typing is killing me...rant over.