Thanks for the definition, Sally. If Richard has a lot of pain it might be Porphyria. I don't have as much pain with porphyria as I had when young, as the hormones of youth are one of its worst triggers. When men get it, like Richard, it is rarer but more difficult to handle.
I was constantly looking for pain help, and failing, since I could not take most medications for pain. I finally found one when I knew I had porphyria and found the right one on a safe/unsafe drug list...but I struggled with little help and lots of ridicule for years. I tried every New Age technique available...meditation, Reiki, Jin Shin Jyutsu, Touch for Health, and every off-label pain med, such as Elavil, which caused dramatic but short paralysis. Jin Shin and Touch for Health were among the things that helped.
My husband was kind to me throughout this long search. I miss him and I know you miss your DH, Sally. Do you hope to meet him again some day, as I hope to meet mine?