I don't know why I still can find escape in books. I suffer from depression too as you know. It is in control, but sometimes I feel like it isn't. I guess what I try to do is play a roll game like in a movie, and become someone else while I read. It is getting inside a character and living those adventures yourself. You can be depressed when you are on the top mast on a ship rocking around. It is worth a try to pick up something, maybe something you always wanted to do, or someplace you always wanted to visit. Do you want to be on a caravan crossing the silk road, and meeting all kinds of cool people? Everyplace in our planet, and universe actually is open for travel. My depression slides away on the adventure, and I do hope this can happen for you. It would be a start, so that getting out of bed is not sorrow. When a person is stuck not going anywhere, it settles into your bones in grief, that awful depression. If you get unstuck, perhaps some joy in life can be yours again. I do struggle bobby, just like you do. I wish to the Good Lord above I didn't have to face and deal with what I must. I write to others here for advise and comfort all the time. I get my strength from people too that I have met right here. Not so sure I would have pulled up out of the nose dive without all of you. Keep trying Bobby, and figure out something, or someplace you want to be, and go there. I care about you. Nobody wants to be lonely and isolated. I am with you in spirit. I speak to Gerry alot. She has given me some strength just from talking to her.
Have peace in your life today, find that moment of joy where life can be ok even if it is just in the moment. your friend in spirit, ginnie