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When will it be OK?

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Unread 05-07-2012, 10:19 AM   #1
MsEva_EMS
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I understand that I ruptured an aneurysm. I understand that I needed brain surgery. I understand that physical, occupational and speech therapies take "time". I get that. It's been just over six months since my surgery. I try my best. I try not to complain about the things that hurt me everyday; or the things that make me feel confused alot of times. I take my meds when I am supposed to. Yes, I get frustrated and angry. Wouldn't anyone else who hasn't gone through this? What hurts me more is that I am made to feel like somehow this is my fault. "I'm tired of hearing about your stroke". I heard that about three weeks ago and it still resounds in my head like it was yesterday. I didn't do anything wrong! I didn't ask for this! I just want to be my old self. I moved to PA for a better life, and left my friends in Jersey. So close, yet so far. I just want to go back. I don't want to be forced to be dependent on one person to take me to my therapies, doctors appointments, or anywhere else. I know that I need to speak to a counselor. I would have to depend on the very same person. I won't do that. I just want my independence back. Someone, PLEASE, tell me...when will it be OK?
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Unread 05-07-2012, 11:34 AM   #2
ger715
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Originally Posted by MsEva_EMS View Post
I understand that I ruptured an aneurysm. I understand that I needed brain surgery. I understand that physical, occupational and speech therapies take "time". I get that. It's been just over six months since my surgery. I try my best. I try not to complain about the things that hurt me everyday; or the things that make me feel confused alot of times. I take my meds when I am supposed to. Yes, I get frustrated and angry. Wouldn't anyone else who hasn't gone through this? What hurts me more is that I am made to feel like somehow this is my fault. "I'm tired of hearing about your stroke". I heard that about three weeks ago and it still resounds in my head like it was yesterday. I didn't do anything wrong! I didn't ask for this! I just want to be my old self. I moved to PA for a better life, and left my friends in Jersey. So close, yet so far. I just want to go back. I don't want to be forced to be dependent on one person to take me to my therapies, doctors appointments, or anywhere else. I know that I need to speak to a counselor. I would have to depend on the very same person. I won't do that. I just want my independence back. Someone, PLEASE, tell me...when will it be OK?

I feel your frustration. None of us want to be dependent on others; especially when we were so independent. I often wonder if this is a way to teach us "humility". Letting go and accepting is so difficult; but often comes a time when we must try to make the best of what we now have. Not easy.

After a while, this gets a bit old with many of our family members and friends. It hurts; but it is difficult for them to understand unless they have been thru it. That's why sharing with us on NT is so important. We all do understand and try as much as we can to encourage one another because we really do care about each other.

Prayers coming your way.

Gerry
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Unread 05-08-2012, 05:26 PM   #3
MsEva_EMS
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Thanks so much Gerry. That means alot. Yesterday was not one of my better days, but I'm so glad I'm here now. Prayers out for you and yours also
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Unread 05-11-2012, 07:47 PM   #4
eva5667faliure
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Originally Posted by mseva_ems View Post
thanks so much gerry. That means alot. Yesterday was not one of my better days, but i'm so glad i'm here now. Prayers out for you and yours also
my dear friend

i am thinking and

love you
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Unread 05-18-2012, 10:22 AM   #5
Joeyy
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Ms Eva I am in cognitive therapy after a fall and brain injury. It consists of alot of group therapy and depression seems common with brain injury . I am schuelded to see someone to deal with mine soon. I have great days as well as not so great. I find doing the things I have always enjoyed helpful. It can change my whole outlook on the day. Itake my dog on long (2-4 hour) walks and meet new people. This always lifts my spirtes. They say staying hydrated is important and some breathing and streatching exercizes are helpefull as well.....I'm just a Jersey boy trying to help : ) Joe as an afterthought I find our 1 hour lunch brakes important at therapy. We "clients" at Kessler in West Orange can talk amongest ourselves. That is why I think you will find this site helpful, we are or have ben there so we understand.
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