caring for grandmother at home

[caregiver37]

Hi, new here. I'm 37 and live at home with my 86 year old grandmother. She has been fairly well except for having shingles a few years ago which crippled nerves in her hands. However, last year we had at least 5 close deaths in the family and news of disasters on tv left my grandmother very depressed and sad for the world. She had trouble sleeping and started having extreme emotional outbursts like crying, hallucinations and delusions. (she thought she was getting messages from God). She was hospitalized and her blood pressure medications were changed and they also put her on seroquel to help keep her calm and sleep. She has calmed down, but I can't stop worrying about her all the time. I am afraid of her having another strange behavior episode or side effect from medication. Our other family lives too far away to help and I feel very alone. I also have a lifelong anxiety problem and driving fear so we stay at home most all the time, except for doctor visits and picking up groceries. I don't feel that I can leave my grandmother alone very long. She gets angry if I "hover" around her, says she feels fine, and tells me to do something for myself but I just don't feel comfortable or relaxed when away from home now. My only support is online or her friend that stops by once a month to visit. Any advice is appreciated, thanks.

[Bobbi]

Not knowing where you live, and you needn't post that info. openly, I'd suggest calling what would be akin to either Department of Health & Human Services or Adult Protective Services. Please, don't think as I did and that Adult Protective Services sole role is abuse-related. It also may provide social workers, and help arrange for in-home visits, accompanying/driving to appointments, etc.

Too, one of the agencies should also be able to provide you with a list of local services available to you and to your Grandmother -- such as in-person support groups, as well as adult care services (some that aren't fee based, although most may be).