Triggered

[Samantha11]

I am feeling drained because I just cried so hard for the first time in days. I was severely triggered tonight by my sister coming to me upset that her boss was and has been very mean to her. She has been treated badly for a long time.
I had a similar situation with my boss, and the final straw with her was a conversation where she yelled at me over the phone and was punishing me for not being good enough for her, and that day I ended up hospitalized because I planned to carry out my suicide.
The situation my sister was in tonight brought back feelings of pain, hurt, loss, and inadequacy. I sat there and didn't have anything hopeful to say. Of course I wasn't going to tell her where I was when I was going through a similar experience.

I feel drained. Exhausted. Sad. Apprehensive about going back to work; I know I'll have to do it eventually. Good thing I'll never have to work with that boss again. I am getting transferred. But lord, how in the hell am I going to face another boss? How will I trust them? I will I trust myself with them? I'm having a hard time trusting anyone right now.

So depressed,

~Samantha

[Leesa]

Dear Samantha ~ Sweetie, you had a very bad experience, and I understand the trust issue. But you have to remember that not everyone is like that. Unfortunately you and your sister had bad experiences with your bosses, but that doesn't happen often. How you two got bad bosses is just a coincidence. Normally, bosses are half-way decent, and quite good to their employees. So try not to worry about any prospective boss. I'm sure he/she will be just fine.

It seems to me that you are quite depressed. Have you talked with your doctor about this? Perhaps you need a referral to a good therapist --- I think you need someone to talk to. Therapy would be a good idea, as depression can be quite serious. I've suffered from it since I was a child, and have been on medication for almost 40 years so I can spot depression in others quite easily and you DO seem depressed! Talk with your doctor and see if you can get a referral to a therapist, ok?

God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[Samantha11]

Thanks for your reply. I have a therapist I am seeing twice a week right now, and she's great. I am just on here to receive additional support. I've talked to her about all this, and she and I are working through it together.
I am depressed, and I am seeing a psychaiatrist for meds, and we are working on seeing what's right for me.
I have a team in place, not to worry.
The trigger last night, I have found was just that, a trigger. And my sisters' experience was not my own. Hard realization to come to, but this morning I have accepted that I have to work on myself right now.

~S

[Leesa]

I'm so glad you are in therapy. As you're finding out, it does work. I've been in therapy off and on most of my adult life and it's made a huge difference for me.

There will be triggers in life -- I've found them as well, but I've also found that the more I went thru therapy the more tools I had to fight the triggers. So now I don't have as many and the ones I do have I can deal with much better than before. Thank goodness, because previously i'd be a basket case!

I'm glad you're here and I hope you find the support you need here. The people here are pretty great. There is also the 'sister' site to this one: it's www.psychcentral.com It's a pretty great site too. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

PS. psychcentral is much busier than this site so you'll get more replies.