PLEASE DO NOT DRINK. Alcoholism does "run" in families and you ARE at risk. Since you did abuse alcohol, your chance of becoming an alcoholic are extremely HIGH. Both my parents were alcoholics, and I did become one. In one day, I will have 19 years clean/sober, with the grace of God and AA's help.
Unfortunately, my son also became an alcoholic, and right now he is in the critical care unit in the hospital on life support due to alcohol. His organs shut down, his liver wasn't working, he is yellow, he was bleeding internally, his blood counts were so low that he SHOULD have been dead, but obviously God had other ideas, because there was no other explanation according to the hospital!!!
We don't know for sure if he will make it or not. So if YOU BEGIN to drink again, this could be your future. YOU could end up like this. PLEASE DON'T DRINK. I beg of you.
I don't want you to be a statistic, Samantha. Don't end up like this because you very likely could. Alcoholism KILLS.
I'm sorry your parents are living like that, and that you have to live there with them. Is there NO OTHER place you can live? Do you have friends you could stay with? Any other relatives, i.e. grandparents, aunts, uncles? This environment is toxic for you. If there is ANY place you could go, please go! If you cannot, please make yourself scarce because you just CANNOT drink!! It's a matter of life and death, Samantha -- I'm not kidding.
God bless you and my prayers are with you. Keep me posted, will you? I really care -- I'm not kidding. Hugs, Lee