Im weak

[BlueMajo]

Hey...

Excuse me if Im using our forums to put my mind into words.... (If that even makes sense)

These days I have been feeling so insecure... weak in general.... mentally speaking...

Some of you already know I feel lonely... like, something, or someone is missing in my life.... I know I have myself, sometimes I really know I have God too, and my grandparents that are in Heaven... I even know I have my parents that are not perfect, but sometimes they try to understand me and help me... I have you.... I know it.... but, I feel like I miss a... partner ? or a friend here at my school.... ? A baby ?

I have been struggling because there is this guy I like, and, he is friendly with me, but nothing else.... nothing more... he is.... how to say.... famous ?so he knows a lot of people, girls that has nothing to do with me, that drink, that dance, you know, nice bodies an stuff... my opposites.... And, I have been feeling depressed because it is not the first time that this happens to me....

I really want to have a family BUT, I always "fall in love" with the wrong person.... guys that will NEVER look at me... at least not for something "big"...

When I say Im weak is, because I think this guy is different...smart and deep, but he is always surrounded by "empty" girls that keep telling me "nasty" things about him, like he is so superfluous etc and... I BELIEVE THEM.

Do you get my point ? I cant stay firm on what I think about people.... and it makes me anxious and sad....

I know my post is sounding so silly, but this has been the cause of my depression for a looooooooooooooooooong time....

I feel confused, my head hurts because Im thinking and thinking all the time about this and.... argh.

How I wish I could be a stone.

Just thank you for reading. I know Im annoying and cant stop talking !

[Alffe]

Hey young lady....you are being insightful and that's a good thing. You have a big heart and could never be a stone. If we are able to figure out what it is that causes our depression then we can begin to work on it. Talk to yourself...remind yourself that you have a lot to offer and be kinder to yourself.

I think Lonely1 needs to show up! He always makes you feel better.

[thelonely1]

Hi Blue,

I wish I could tell you something to make you feel better... it sounds you and I have pretty much the same problem. The difference is that you seem to keep meeting new people, and as long as you keep meeting new people your chances of finding someone special can only get better.

I try not to worry about those "empty" people; they're not in it for anything real, they have no depth in their personality, and are probobly much less likely to find love because of it. And if this guy is only interested in "empty" women, then he's probobly not looking for anything real himself, and you deserve someone who is ready for a real woman.

Or maybe he's sick of all the "empty" girls and is waiting for someone like you to come along.

[Alffe]

I just knew you'd say the right thing to our Blue....now she needs to come back and talk to you. Thank you!

[BlueMajo]

You always make me feel better That is for sure ! That's why I posted

Im in that point when you cant trust in people anymore... I dont know what to think about people anymore.... the more I think, the more disappointed I get...

Is like, someone disappoints me, I try to look into someone else, I get a new ilusion, that person disappoints me too... I survive looking into someone different, I get excited, disappoints me too... it is always the same thing !

Uh... or even worse, that person doesnt dissapoint me BUT, I think he/she will because people love to lie, to tell things and my mind is weak to keep firm on an idea and Im always wondering if it might be true or not and blah blah blah...

Sometimes I really feel crazy... no kidding... horrible !

[thelonely1]

Well I don't know how to read minds yet, but I think it's good to give others the benefit of a doubt. Try to ignore the gossip though, you can be sure that those people only care about themselves if all they do is talk bad about others.

You could try talking to this guy you like, (not that that's an easy thing to do ) And maybe he'll still dissapoint you, but people aren't perfect, and if they care about you they will try to do better from now on.

Your trust is something that others have to earn, the gossipers obviously are untrustworthy, but has the guy done anything to lose your trust?

[BlueMajo]

Thank you my friend !!!

I will follow your wise advices !!

You rock !

Thanks a lot !