I don't think I can do this...

[TBI/PTSD]

I went to yoga and paddled, Trip was on the board with me and he got lots of "pretty boys" and that makes me proud

Waves,
I am afraid of people being close to me. I am afraid of the metro breaking down and getting stuck or worse, stuck in a tunnel. I can't take over stimulation and people that pay attention to my dog, especially lurkers that admire him with stares because he protects me from them which is good but I get jolted when it happens. I wish people would leave us alone. I want to wear headphones but I am hypervigilant and afraid I will miss something if I am plugged in, same with reading. I have to always watch Trip and tell people " please ignore us, he is working" this lady told me I didn't have to be so rude....whatever.

Mymorgy, thank you. Your experience must grave been just as daunting. We can do this.

Bizi,
Thanks for you constant support. Maybe in the end I will realize that I just can't work. I hope that is not the case, I am going to keep fighting and being hopeful that I can one day do the things that I took for granted like working, going to the store, being social.

Thanks much you guys, it means so much to talk to people that get it.
Hilary

[Mari]

Hi, Hilary,

'Glad that they have moved you to a new section.

Is it possible to wear head phones/ ear buds without the volume on? In other words you appear to be "plugged in." That could cut down on people trying to talk to you because you would appear to be in your own world.
How about sunglasses (they do not even have to be dark)? A few people might be deterred from trying to make eye contact and trying to talk to you.

I guess that you have a friendly look and that your dog is cute. Think of this as life affirming -- most people are good people, they want to connect with others, they react to a friendly looking person and her dog --- even if their approach is not welcome.
Maybe come up with a reply to people like "He is a working dog. He is not my pet."

If people would leave you a lone you could learn to manage. Maybe people are just weird.
That is all I have to say.


Here's to those of us who prefer to be left alone when we are in public

M

[TBI/PTSD]

I carry headphones in my bag all the time but never use them. I will certainly try that and the sunglasses. People will think I am blind but i don't care.

I am going to try to post a picture if Tripper. I have not been successful at that yet.


Thanks Mari

'Glad that they have moved you to a new section.

Is it possible to wear head phones/ ear buds without the volume on? In other words you appear to be "plugged in." That could cut down on people trying to talk to you because you would appear to be in your own world.
How about sunglasses (they do not even have to be dark)? A few people might be deterred from trying to make eye contact and trying to talk to you.

I guess that you have a friendly look and that your dog is cute. Think of this as life affirming -- most people are good people, they want to connect with others, they react to a friendly looking person and her dog --- even if their approach is not welcome.
Maybe come up with a reply to people like "He is a working dog. He is not my pet."

If people would leave you a lone you could learn to manage. Maybe people are just weird.
That is all I have to say.


Here's to those of us who prefer to be left alone when we are in public

M[/quote]

[waves]

Hi Hilary

I think you are very brave. i also happen to believe that keeping on "trying to make it" wrt work is the right approach for right now. While you have the wherewithal you can try a few things. Hopefully at some point you will find yourself doing in a working role and feeling fairly comfortable.

In any event, at some point the scales will tip in one direction or another. Either things will get easier or they will get harder. If things get to the point where continuing to try hurts you more than it helps, it will be time to request disability, and you will do so in good conscience.

Now sounds like a huge adjustment time, a time to be very gentle with yourself, and explore maybe different working roles if you need to.

==========================================

the world is just so full of people who don't understand. Now, keep in mind that when you call someone on doing something that is off limits (like petting Trip with his big orange DO-NOT-PET sign), most people will feel shame and/or embarrassment. Some will apologize while others get very defensive behave aggressively, showing apparent anger.

-- 1. Can you practice some scenarios in your head using recent examples of anger, aggression, huffiness etc, but tack on a silent mental response to yourself: Remind yourself that the negative/aggressive reaction is about them they are most likely embarrassed. Then try to rehearse the scene feeling their "apparent" anger as fear or shame and not directed at you.

-- 2. When "situations" arise, rather than engage a person directly, use indirect cues like looking away, staring at a fixed point as though you are completely deaf or engrossed in something else.

ALSO:
You and Trip must have done a course together. Do you still have access to your coach or someone you can call? I am sure you are not the only person who runs into these types of situations. I bet folks who train the service dogs and team them up with their owners might have some creative input for you on how to deal with some of these disturbing and frustrating situations. There have to be others with service dogs who use public trans, and apparently that big ol'orange sign Trip wears is not enough for people (sheesh!)

==========================================

i've been very very very very asocial before. hardly went out etc except at night. at those times if i had to i used reflector shades. if you can stand it i'd wear very dark shades, reflector shades or semi-reflector shades. when need arises i feel very protected behind those knowing people can't see my eyes even if they look at the eye area.

waves

[Dmom3005]

You have done exactly what my comment meant.

You thought about it. Made some calls. And got some answers.

I'm so glad you have been moved to a safer area.

Another suggestion, I can think of if the texts continue would be to have
the number changed. But hopefully they will quit.


I think you will work out the problem with the transportation. You
want to do the job bad enough.

I sure hope so at least.

Donna

[TBI/PTSD]

I am way overwhelmed. I went to yoga and to AA, purged some things from my house, faxed my refi paperwork to the mortgage company meditated and am trying to relax. I wake up going so fast, so fast that it is counter productive. I make mistakes because I am cycling so fast. I don't have to go to work until the 2 nd so that gives me time to practice on the metro with my sunglasses and headphones.

I am going to figure out how to block numbers from my phone. I keep my phone on silent all the time and definitely don't answer it if I don't recognize the number.

I have my route all mapped out for the metro I think we will try tomorrow at normal work hours 0600 to avoid the rush. Thanks for all of your suggestions. I will let you know how it works out.

Hilary

[bizi]

good luck hilary!
bizi