Oh Phyllis, bless your heart. Don't even talk like that.
Believe me, I've been in your shoes where I was so darned anxious I hated the world, but I really didn't want to die. I fought like the daylights to do whatever I could to make things better. I kept looking for the "right" therapist, the "right" medication, the "right" whatever!!! Unfortunately, since I've got a very addictive personalilty, I got addicted to the anxiety medication.
So I had to stop that!
I found a GREAT therapist, who helped me immensely, plus my husband helped me alot too by telling me to ask myself "What's the worst that could happen?" So I kept asking myself that question when I became anxious and I could always accept my answer. If the answer I came up with was "The world might end, I usually could accept that.
If it was " I might faint" --So what?? Who cares? I sure didn't. If it was "I might drop dead" -- Well, so be it. I could accept that too, but no one ever died from anxiety. LOL
So see? There's really not much reason to be THAT anxious, as I found out. I managed to "talk myself out of it" by just asking myself that question whenever I got anxious. Soon the anxiety started easing and in time it disappearred -- and it hasn't come back since.
Pretty neat, huh?
Just thought I'd share that with you. Actually my husband helped me more than therapy did. Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee