Thanks for the thread, and so sorry I missed it earlier!
Welll, I'm getting a little better, not worse anyway. I think it helped that i managed to do one thing a day - stuff got done. I managed to get myself to have my first appointment with a pdoc at that state center. So far so good.
Anyway, I am alive, and I have noticed that I still have that reflex where, if I step into the road and see a car coming, I jump back. That tells me:
my life instinct is still stronger than my death instinct.
But this is how i am -
- thoughts of death, fewer
- suicidal ideation (no planning), less
- have anxiety attacks requiring medication
- feel very overwhelmed.
- very very very very very tired/sleepy alla time
- cry a lot.
- no motivation
- poor concentration
- decrease in in social activities (albeit mine are online)
I know you are not exactly on cloud #9 yourself, and I hope you are doing a bit better day by day.
~ waves ~