fears of being able to work full time

[todayistomorrow]

It's been almost a year since my accident and still experience the classic PCS symptoms. Cloudy/heavy head, headaches, dizziness, fatigue. I've been taking vitamins for almost 2 months now and am doing vestibular rehab/neck massaage 2x a week.

What gives me hope is I had 2 days of clarity of last week like the fog had suddenly lifted. I had glimpses of what I felt like before the accident and it was the most amazing feeling(has this ever happened to anyone). Unfortunately, I was on vacation the 2nd day and pushed myself too far with being on it in the heat all day and lost the feeling the next morning.

I was looking for a new line of work before my accident and now I find myself in no man's land. My main priority is getting healthy and I have different Dr. appointments the next 2 months trying to figure out what can be making my symptoms persist(eye Dr., new neuro, sleep Dr.)

I've always been successful in sports and prior work but now I'm not the same person I was before. I'm someone who does the best I can each day to have a positive mindset but struggle at times. I have a hard time imagining it possible to work 40 hr weeks in this state of mind.

I'm starting to look for jobs but I'm not sure if I should be adding this stress into my life. All the Dr.'s tell me I have too much time on my hands to think about my situation so it makes my symptoms worse.

I'm conflicted as to how long to wait before saying enough is enough; I need to accept my current state of mind and get on with my life vs. rest is what I need in my life and trying to rush back to work may negatively impact my brain in the long run.

Thank you for any advice.

[Mark in Idaho]

My first impression from your post is to try to look back at the day and night before your good day. I bet you can find some characteristics from that day and night that include a distraction from your condition and also a better night's sleep.

I have those great days, too, and for me, they always follow good sleep. My wife can see me sleeping well. She says the peaceful look on my face is indicative of good sleep. Unfortunately, I don't get this peaceful sleep as often as I would like.

What testing have you had? Have you had a full NeuroPsych Assessment? It can help you identify your working vs struggling functions. A vocational rehab specialist may be able to help you understand how to move forward vocationally.

I don't think that pushing will negatively impact your brain. Rather, it will just return you to your worst condition.

In my case, I have had to learn what my limitations are, including triggers, levels of effort, and how to recognize impending fatigue. I can maintain a productive activity level for quite some time. I need my breaks and rest. I also need to recognize those days that need to start at 12 noon rather than 8 or 9 am. A nap after breakfast allows me to achieve the full function level I need get going.

I was able to start understanding how to move forward once I had a full NeuroPsych Assessment so I could accept and let go of my struggles rather than get frustrated and try to force through my dysfunctions. I learned work-arounds to deal with my memory limitations. I learned how to avoid over-stimulation. It allows me to be very functional and active.

I hope you can find those characteristics that lead to your good days. What were you doing the day before? What kind of thoughts occupied your mind the day before?

My best to you.

[todayistomorrow]

Interestingly enough, the day before I felt really good I only got 3 hr sleep because I was stressing about my relationship. I had an appt in the morning with a neuropyschologist who I didn't completey agree with everything she was saying. She said patients tend to get on the concussion train and they attribute every symptom they have to the concussion. She went on to say how she's not suggesting it's all in my head(even though it kind of seemed that way to me) but that we're back to square one and need to find out why I'm still having symptoms.

She suggested starting vestibular therapy again(since I had gotten worse when I stopped) and then she recommended a good eye Dr. to rule out anything vision related. She does think sleep could be a large part of it since I was diagnosed wtih Restless Leg Syndrome. My sleep study I had done showed I was in REM sleep for only 26 minutes and had 99 arousals.

My neuropysch full assessment test said I scored average or above in most categories. I scored way below average in one test for visuall recall but they attributed it to that being an outlier rather than an indication something is wrong(how stupid are these people?)

I'm definitely glad that there doesn't appear to be any major deficits but I know my level of functioning is not what it was before my accident. I used to have very fast paced jobs which required multi tasking and managing high levels of stress(this could be part of why my symptoms are lingering). Now, my brain wouldn't be able to tolerate a few hours of my old job tasks without being overstimulated and feeling like crap.

Since my accident, I've been working part time at home where I'll work a few hours a day on the computer. I'm not sure if I've given myself 2 months of complete rest free of work and not worrying about getting a full time job. If I'm symptom free for a full month, then maybe I can consider getting full time work.

[alexscott1990]

Hey, todayistomorrow, I don't claim to be able to give good adivce on this subject, but I do know that I went through a lot before I was able to manage my own situation.

I'm not through it, I haven't been able to rid myself of the symptoms, but I have learned to control them to some degree and have made it to a point where i can function everyday at least somewhat.

I know what your dealing with, being concerned with moving on with your life, doing something with it other than scheduling doctors visits all the time and wanting to feel useful, like getting a job.

I was the same way. I fought and struggled for over a year and now do have a full-time job with a lot of stress packed in there...and I still have the symptoms from my fall.

[rmschaver]

I understand completely. I was injured at work and am very fortunate that many of the more debilitating symptoms are much less severe. I just had a Dr appt and he told me even though I have cognitive, memory, balance, headaches, back and neck pain, I am going to be released for restricted duty.

I expressed my concern and told him that I work in a manufacturing facility that will chew you up and spit you out with out even slowing down. He told me that I could work or go on unemployment. What a joke. I grew up poor and have worked since I was 15.

I could not convince him how dangerous it is and resign myself to going back. In my job I work with large, extensive electric machinery. Almost all of it is operated by computer. I do the programming. If I fail to to do the proper safe gaurding I can easily hurt myself or others.

I am waiting to talk to my lawyer about this development as I feel it is unacceptable.

[andromeda]

Originally Posted by rmschaver

I understand completely. I was injured at work and am very fortunate that many of the more debilitating symptoms are much less severe. I just had a Dr appt and he told me even though I have cognitive, memory, balance, headaches, back and neck pain, I am going to be released for restricted duty.

I expressed my concern and told him that I work in a manufacturing facility that will chew you up and spit you out with out even slowing down. He told me that I could work or go on unemployment. What a joke. I grew up poor and have worked since I was 15.

I could not convince him how dangerous it is and resign myself to going back. In my job I work with large, extensive electric machinery. Almost all of it is operated by computer. I do the programming. If I fail to to do the proper safe gaurding I can easily hurt myself or others.

I am waiting to talk to my lawyer about this development as I feel it is unacceptable.

Aaaah surely they shouldn't push you when you're not ready, especially considering the safety aspect! I don't remember it always being like this. I worry about this a lot - especially with the state of the UK at the moment. Apparently they took a woman with one arm off of disability benefit here, deeming her 'fit for work' - meanwhile they're not taxing the rich and they still allow them toto receive benefits. It makes me so angry.

[Mark in Idaho]

There are lots of jobs a person with one arm can do. Disability is usually only until the one armed person has healed and learned to live with only one arm.

The UK taxes on the rich are already the highest in the world. Any higher and more will move out of the UK and take their businesses with them. We have British actors and musicians living here to avoid the high UK taxes.

Here in the US, they could tax the rich at 100% and only add a few percent to the tax revenue stream. Still, many want the rich taxed more. We have already had a steady stream of the rich moving off-shore to avoid the high taxes.

Life can be a struggle, but it is better than not living.

[rmschaver]

I believe we all want to contribute. It is human nature. For myself right now my neuro is a rest alittle while and you will be Ok Dr. His terminology at the end of the dr visit follows. You are not paralyzed and you have not lost any feeling permanently I can find no nuerological reason for you not to return to work.

While only being a short timer here I hear alot of frustration with whatever medical system we are dealing with. I still have the same goal. Go back to doing what I did before. I am 50 and not sure I want to start over again. But that may be a choice I no longer have.

I have heard and continue to hear good advice. Take as good care of ourselves as we can. Be the best advocates we can. Support each other. Try to leave politics out of it.