Originally Posted by Mjg13
Thanks for your sweet wishes. I guess I can say I'm better. I've weaned myself off all meds except cymbalta which seems to take a slight edge of my rsd and occasional Percocet for the bad days. I've been walking like crazy and trying to control my fear of returning to work in four weeks or I'll lose my. Health insurance. I know im not ready but have too. My pain is wicked. I cannot touch my thoracic area where surgery was because it feels like razors cutting me and burning. The tenderness follows the dermatomes around my front. I'm not jumping the gun whether my rsd has spread and just waiting to see if it's a nerve issue that will resolve from surgery. My pain seems to start mid back and travel down to my lower back, hips and front of my right leg with an occasional burning of my right foot. I don't walk very well but what can I do? I felt normal on pain meds and wish I could continue, but can't so I can go back to work. I don't know how I'm going to fake it this time. My forearms are raw because I place them on my thigh to help myself bend and stand back up. I don't sleep. Sitting at home is depressing and I'm angry at how my life has changed. I know what in for at work and I know I'll suffer but that's life right? What I wouldn't give to go backpacking again or ride my bike or feel the full touch of my husband or even a real hug. Today I wish for us all to win the lottery to receive the care we deserve, take away our worries and allow us to live life comfortably. The question is . . . Do I take away my physical pain through meds which will cause me to suffer emotionally by feeling like a burden and becoming more depressed by being limited or do I endure the physical pain to make myself believe I'm apart of this life? So stupid, all of it. In my opinion, healthcare is still in the dark ages. I hope one day I reach the point where I'm simply greatful that it's not worse and that I'm alive. I'll welcome that day. For now I wait to see what crappy thing will happen next. How sad to be so aware, sucks!
Sorry you are having such a rough time. Your area of pain is very similiar to the pain I had 5 1/2 years ago. The waist down the right leg, etc. I had spinal fusion of L4-5 and a laminectomy at the same time. There was a neve in that area that was badly crushed. (The doctor said he had never seen such a red angry nerve like that before). I'm sure the nerve caused additional pain.
I do not RSD, but do have PN. In my case, eventually both legs and feet were involved, along with the spine pain because I developed PN. About 3 years ago, I had bladder surgery (Cystocele). I think that added to the extra pain of the PN. I like you, use my elbows/arms to take pressure off the spine area and back of the upper legs. I am on narcotic meds to get thru the day. Don't like them; but without them things would be even more painful. Fortunately, they do not seem to affect my mind. I do have some anxiety and take vallium as well. Not sure if the anxiety is caused by meds or pain.
The biggest side effect of the narcotics is the constipation. I should have been more cautious and taking, if needed, more often, laxatives instead of forcing. I do believe that led to my Cystocele surgery which caused the bladder to come down. Didn't realize at the time, this could happen.
I know this is difficult; but try to take each day without living days that have not happened yet. Just adds to the stress. I longed for the days when I was more active. Once I began accepting things as they are, my attitude improved, along with my negative feelings. I will keep you in my prayers.