Hi all :-)
So nice to come back on here and have responses. Not many things make me smile these days...but your responses really have.
I don't have much of a support group here at home...so the whole get rest part is VERY difficult.
I am a disabled veteran....so I already don't work...but really miss it.(I was a Physical therapy assistant and med tech in Army and have a BA in health and wellness, and am certified to teach group fitness and aquatics).
Being a mama to 3 kids though is one of the most important jobs you can have.
A typical day for me:
6:30 wake up, get kiddos up, get outfits ready, pack cold lunch, feed breakfast, have out the door and on bus by 7:30am.
8am Feed corbin, my youngest. check emails, pick up house as much as I can tolerate.
This is where I should be doing lots of hands on stuff with Corbin...but I have been seriously slacking due to my fatigue.
10am. Pack up corbin, usually in a rushed manner. Head out the door to physical therapy appt. about 30minutes away.
11am, physical therapy for about an hour to help with TMJ and neck issues.
Corbin comes with me...he does well playing quietly by me during my session.
12:30 Eat lunch either at home or on the way home from appt. Usually a small sandwhich shop.
2pm Home again...do a few more chores if possible...its usually minimal these days. (the unkept house is a huge stress factor for me!)
3pm Corbin watches some TV programs...I pretty much bounce from tons of things as far as doing stuff. One minute check email, one minute just sit with corbin, one minute do a few dishes....my mind just cant stick to or complete one thing!
The whole time...what I want to do is go up to my room and just cover my head with the blankets and be alone and rest.
I keep myself busy I guess to keep my mind off from how shitty i feel!
I tend to get irritable and I need to keep that in check and not get cranky with kiddos. I feel so bad when I do.
I have NO energy these days...so muster through my day. It sounds like I am a busy body...but really...nothing seems to ever get done or accomplished.
345pm kiddos are off the bus...time for a snack....
scurry to clean up house a bit more before husband comes home....attempt to come up with a plan for dinner...I'm doing horrible in that department these days. My intentions are always there!
4:30 husband home. He is a great guy..and doesnt expect a lot from me...but its my guilt I think that makes me suck everything up and do things, even though I don't want to.
530 Pull some sort of dinner out of nowhere, lol. I use to always cook meals...ugh...i suck.
630 Kids play or watch a program before bed. I pick up a bit from dinner...watch the news with husband.
7pm Brush kids teeth, read with kiddos...
730 Lights out. 3 yo whines for me to lay with him. I do for a little bit.
830 attempt to pick up toys and kitchen.
9pm zone out on television
I have had serious insomnia issues...but lately I have been able to get to sleep by 1030 due to some herbal medicine that is helping me with appetite and fall asleep. Not use to herbal medicines...but am SO tired of all the icky drugs the VA hospital is always trying to push on me. With all my other health issues...I have been on lots of stuff for the past 10 years.
Currently thyroid med, pain med, depression med (buproprion)...
recently they want me to take amitryptaline..but the side effects sound horrible! She wants me to take it for headaches and sleep. I have the script but have yet to try it.
I have a mri scheduled for Oct. 25 of the brain and neck/spine.
I also have an up coming neurology appt.
I go to PT twice a week..and acupuncture once a week.
Acupuncture doc, she is an md as well, says I may want to request a neuro psych test, and perhaps therapy to vent.
Mostly ALL my healthcare is at the Veterans hospital. I am fully covered medically with all my care given there.
Outside places I would have to pay for....although the VA has authorized to pay for 12 acupuncture visits and 10 outside PT visits.
But normally EVERYTHING is at the VA.
I didn't plan on getting represented by anyone for this accident stuff. One month after accident...other guys insurance was making me uncomfortable. Wondering when my recovery will be complete...UM...HOW the hell am I supposed to know!!!
Advice from family, get attorney.
Just so I don't have to deal with all the paperwork and talking to the people. As I got worse..i knew that stuff would not help my stress levels.
I don't talk to them much...just pretty much go to appts. and let them know what I am up to from time to time.
Having a lawyer is weird...
I didn't think I would feel horrible like I do..and seem to be getting worse....I don't even know what my expectations are. I have angry stages from time to time....
but overall...I guess I just want ALL my medical bills covered and to be compensated for any out of pocket expenses (like all the gas money...geeeez...I am having to skimp on family groceries due to all the $ spent on gas to get to apts!).
I don't work....so I won't get compensated for loss wages...although.....my kids sure have suffered from this whole thing...so lots of lost special moments and activities that I could have been doing with my children. (thats the part that I get angry the most about).
I should stop now...lol...before I get too fired up..hehe.
MRI's probably won't even show anything, right? It will be good to rule out anything else...but if just PCS...it won't show.
I hope the VA neurologist is nice and knows a lot about the condition......
So many times I have walked out of doctors offices with a terrible defeated feeling from not being understood or taken seriously.
I am going to do my best to stay positive. Focus on the good stuff and learn to adapt. Because who knows how long this will go on for. I will try and educate friends and husband with the youtube video and reading material to help them understand...(still doubtful in the back of my mind though).
I am going to try and get my body moving a bit more..perhaps yoga and pilates to help with posture and breathing for anxiety.
Driving has been really weird lately. I feel like I am constantly having to refocus during the drive...I am very aware of my issue...so am always snapping myself out of it. Zoning out a bit I guess...but keeping myself in check.
REALLY lost for words when explaining things or talking about something....weird.
Sorry this post was all over the place.
Thanks again for your helpful words