I read your post and it struck a chord with me, as I see you've been thru a tremendous amount of pain and frustration.
It's no wonder you've been hit with the depression cloud as well and I'm so glad that you've come here to talk about that.
I've battled this for most of my life and the worst mistakes I have made thru-out the years is isolating myself. Mostly because, like you said, the people around us don't have a clue, and chances are they wouldn't even 'get it' if I did try to explain. It takes someone who understands depression to really comprehend what it does to a person.
Fortunately, this place has people who KNOW and truly care. It's good to talk about it. It's also good to talk with a professional who can give coping strategies and perhaps medication if it helps.
I am ever grateful to have this place to come to. It's genuine care and concern from one to another which keeps us lifted above the dark cloud.
It's good to have you here...