Wow you are blessed here with so much help! People have taken a real liking to you. I am pleased we can all help each other. Firstly I feel for you I really do. I am so sorry you have been so "Low"! It must be awful for you to try and get your head around a whole new life pattern when you are clearly a talented woman in your own right.
When I first came on this site I was told "recovery needs patience". The word patience conjours up horrible visions for me of waiting at the end of the queue for dinner in junior school when I'm hungry. No one likes to wait for something they need.
You will be fine. You will!! You are alive, you are being a mum, you are a wife, you can see, you can type.
But - You have lost an incredible amount, I can see that. I am so sorry for your loss. However you are the only one who can decide how you will choose to go on.
You cannot go on for anyone else, not even for your two children. You must choose to go on for you. When someone gets cancer and they are having chemotherapy and their hair falls out, they get support, understanding and love. You have an invisible horrendous disorder. Do not underestimate how terrible this is to live with. But being invisible means you will not get support, understanding and love. This is your battle.
You have this web site, you have the love of your husband and your children, but you must devise a plan in your mind and the plan must be this :
I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TOMORROW HOLDS, I DO KNOW I GOT THROUGH TODAY AND I CHOOSE TO SURVIVE TOMORROW. I ACCEPT THIS IS MY NEW WAY OF LIFE FROM TODAY ONWARDS AND IT WILL GET EASIER.
I did not say it will get better, because you do not know what tomorrow holds. It will and does get easier.
Tell your husband that you are a hard working mother and he must accept that when you say you need quiet rest or time you MEAN it!
Lots of love to you, keep in touch and good luck.
I am a 36 yr old female who has played football, as a hobby, for 13 yrs. In July 2012, during a game I was slammed to the floor by two angry guys who hit into me so hard that one of them broke their ribs.
This knocked me back onto hard ground leaving me unconscious. I awoke to chronic head and neck pain, sickness and the inability to see or balance.
The paramedics made me walk to the ambulance, instead of placing me on a spinal board, where I was taken to the ER. I was hospitalised with suspected brain hemorrhage for 1 week, then on complete bed rest for 1 month, in a wheelchair for 2 months.
I have been left with PCS, moderate constant head pain, little short term memory, no memory of the accident, balance and sight problems, depression and exhaustion.
The worst problem is collapsing regularly. This has finally been diagnosed as Hemiplegic Migraines , these cause my brain to regularly shut down when I am tired and I then feel the full effects of a stroke (without the bleed on the brain!!) of which the symptoms last 2-4 days.
I have had 6 CT's, 2 MRI's and am under 3 specialists.
I believe everyday is one more towards improvement. Mainly I believe in the power of acceptance not the weakness of complacency or resignation.