Hello on this Thanksgiving. Often when our circumstances get overwhelming we feel as you do too. I know disability doesn't pay much, as I walk in your same shoes. I am loosing my home that two generations worked for. Don't know what to do yet. However, I still pray every day for direction. That all of us are granted mercy to find our way. I find myself back on Neuro Talk, where friends can and do understand. Here you are not alone. You will find friendship, and maybe a few ideas to help you too.
As far as your home goes. don't panic about all that you think you need to do. Take the chores, to put your place in order, a baby step at a time. I clean one cabnet, move on to something else as I can. I am preparing this home to sell. ( it doesn't belong to me but to my family) I am doing just a little at a time. Any sour smell there is can be corrected if you start out with just a little bit. Even people in severe poverty can be sparkling clean. It would make you feel better.
Have you checked into Gov. subsidised housing? That may be a place to try to get into a better place to where you have some measure of peace in your life. As far as your cats go, sometimes they are better company that many people. Try to Pray, read if you can. It helps. Don't give up, but make a plan, make a list of all the changes you want to make. Make a list of the good things that are in your life. You found us didn't you? Your community may be able to help too. There are womens resourse centers in almost every city. Call them and see if there is help. You won't know there is, until you try. I will be here for you anytime you need to talk. Give thanks this day, for the breath you take, for your pets, for a warm shower, anything that you find valuable. It doesn't have to do with material possessions at all. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers Miss Bliss, and I will send an angel your way, to help guide you. Move forward one step at a time. Begin at home, one small spot at a time. Ask a church for help too. sometimes there are members willing to come to your home to help you. Come back here anytime you can. ginnie