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Leading a double life...

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Unread 11-25-2012, 07:44 PM   #1
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Default Leading a double life...

Yes, my secret is out. I'm leading a double life. I don't know whether to laugh or cry! It's all just so....stupid.

First of all, you know how it is when all of your symptoms seem to jump you on the same day. (And I realize some of you have all of your symptoms EVERY day )

I won't list every single complaint--all the usual ones--but the last few days the pain in my leg muscles has been pretty bad. Hurts to sit, hurts to stand, hurts to lie flat. Grrr. It's getting really, really old.

So somebody messages me, "How are you doing?" and I reply, "Oh, not too bad." Really? The problem here is that the translation of "not too bad" is "pretty good", right?

I've got to learn to have a better answer ready when I feel like frog spit, don't want to say so, and don't want to lie. So far I like, "I can always use your prayers."

I thought about, "I've had better days", but that's one that gets a "Oh, I'm so sorry" response, then I have to say, "No, no, it's not that bad..." and around and around it goes.

OK, I'm done now. I love this place.

**My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:26)
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Unread 11-25-2012, 08:15 PM   #2
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I don't have the energy for a double life. Most peeps who ask how you are, are about as interested as frog spit and are just being curtious. I appreciate that, so I repay them by saying, fine or okie dokie.

If I'm really sick, I might say, not well, may I call you back when I feel better? Even my Doc get's a blank look on his face, if I begin to tell him how I feel..LOL..

But you probably talk to more people than I do in a day, Blessings.
~Love, Sally

"The best way out is always through". Robert Frost

~If The World Didn't Suck, We Would All Fall Off~
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Unread 11-26-2012, 09:43 AM   #3
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How about "My MS is acting up, but I'll get through it." If they are truly interested they might ask for more info and it would be up to you to decide who gets what amount of detail.
Secondary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis (or maybe RR), diagnosed '00

Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not yet the end.
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Unread 11-26-2012, 10:04 AM   #4
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Excellent response Sparky.
Definitely going to use that one, oh yes

With love, Erika
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Unread 11-26-2012, 04:22 PM   #5
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When I am asked by someone how I am doing, I always say, "I'm coming right along, thanks. How about you?"
Life really is a bowl full of cherries once you learn how to spit out the pits.
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Unread 11-26-2012, 09:19 PM   #6
Debbie D
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To those who are "outside the circle" I reply...getting along-fits & starts"
To those in the circle, they can tell just by looking at me
Instant Karma's gonna get you-gonna knock you right in the head...John Lennon
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Unread 11-27-2012, 08:10 AM   #7
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My boys ask me how I'm feeling each and every time they call me....so I tend to play down most symptoms because if I was truthful with them all I'd be doing is complaining. I think I still try to be protective when it comes to what I share with them. No reason for them to worry or concern themselves with something they can't do anything about. But, then, I want them to be realistic and not be shocked when I have a really bad day. It's a catch-22.

For those folks I hardly ever see or it's just a one-time visit......I don't even try to explain to them. Unless they specifically ask me something I just keep my health concerns to myself. It's just too exhausting to try and explain to someone who really isn't listening anyway.
Multiple Sclerosis (MS)
Dx October 2005


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Unread 11-29-2012, 02:03 PM   #8
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I have 3 grown children and I can only be brutally honest with one of them. My second born daughter will get upset with me if I dont tell her everything thats happening with me. She lives 500 miles away and says this is the only way she will be up to date on my condition. She gets hurt if I dont tell her exactly how I doing, feeling, etc. She's truely become a friend of mine as well as my daughter. My oldest daughter doesnt want to hear how Im doing. My son will ask me and I'll tell him, just not in detail. When I go to see him for visits (he too lives 500 miles away) he is so protective of me. Gets my walker for me, walks beside me watching me walk when we're out, and wont let me do anything in the house, he will say "what do you want mama, I'll get it. You sit and relax." I only reveal details to those who truely want it.
Dx RRMS April 1992
Yearly flares from 92 to 11
MS induced seizures 2002
Flare Oct 2011
Flare Dec 2011
Left disabled after 2 previous flares
Betaseron '02, Copaxone '12, Tecfidera '13
(allergic reaction to all)
No longer taking any MS therapy meds
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Unread 11-30-2012, 12:44 AM   #9
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When Mom was alive and she would call me on the phone she immediately knew how I was feeling. She would ask and I would say I was doing fine. To that she would answer "OK, now tell me how you are really feeling". I knew I couldn't keep anything away from her. Now my sister, I am afraid to ask her how she is doing. You never get off the phone or leave the restruant or where ever you are. You never have a chance to talk. Better go to the bathroom before you ask her. She loves to tell ANYONE!

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Unread 12-03-2012, 07:59 AM   #10
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My life is presented via one giant charade- to the world I say "I'm good - and you?" The only people I can tell how I'm really doing is on the NT board or the two people who live under my roof (plus 1 really good friend)

IMO most people just ask how somebody is doing as a part of polite conversation. They either don't really want to hear about stuff thay can't fix or (if you do admit what's going on) feel terribly awakward. I see no reason to make somebody uncomfortable or (possibly) have a reason to avoid me.

Most people can tell when anybody is having an off day; no need to fill in all the gory details LOL *but I do note that I feel the need to keep my diagnosis pretty private, due to professional reasons

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
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