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What do you do when you're treated like you don't exist?

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Unread 12-02-2012, 01:45 PM   #1
SDFencer
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Default What do you do when you're treated like you don't exist?

The biggest pain right now is being treated like I'm not here. Everyone just went shopping. My wife has gone over all sorts of remodel plans for the garage with my son-in-law that I know nothing about other than I have to park outside. My Granddaughter (1 next week) still doesn't come to or want me. Oh, I do have three loads of laundry to do.

So I ask again? Why try?
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Unread 12-04-2012, 10:37 AM   #2
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My friend, you're being walked all over. You can't get walked on unless you lay down.

When son-in-law and wife are going over plans, go in garage and say "Hey, I'd like to know about this since I'm paying for it!" Or "Hey, how about letting me in on this?" or "I may not understand all of this, but at least tell me what's going on." You DESERVE to be let in on the plans and whatever else they have up their sleeves!!! They haven't seen fit to advise you of anything so you're going to have to make SURE that you're informed of these plans!!! Communication is seriously lacking here, and that's not good.

You and wife would be well served by a therapist who deals with couples counseling. You two don't seem to be able to communicate. Actually there is an art to communicating, and you two need to learn how to do it. Right now, there doesn't seem to be ANY. Do you think wife would agree to it? If she says no, then YOU could go to a therapist alone. It would do you some good -- you might learn how to express yourself a bit more emphatically. Right now, you're not being heard, and perhaps the therapist could help you learn how to BE heard without insulting or offending anyone.

Just an idea. But I think it might work. I wish you the best, dear friend. Please take care, huh? Hope to talk to you soon. Hugs, Lee
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Unread 12-04-2012, 02:21 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SDFencer View Post
The biggest pain right now is being treated like I'm not here. Everyone just went shopping. My wife has gone over all sorts of remodel plans for the garage with my son-in-law that I know nothing about other than I have to park outside. My Granddaughter (1 next week) still doesn't come to or want me. Oh, I do have three loads of laundry to do.

So I ask again? Why try?
I can sure understand this feeling from time to time. There are times I simply just don't wanna be around people. So, it stands to reason (in my case) that they keep their distance thinking I don't want to be bothered. When in fact that may not be true at all.

Would it maybe help if you would ask to be included in some of these things, or at least ask questions about what's going on, so they know you are showing an interest.
I dunno , just throwin some ideas out there.

Caring,
Rae
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Unread 12-10-2012, 08:30 AM   #4
neilnigsy
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Default hey keep trying

Quote:
Originally Posted by SDFencer View Post
The biggest pain right now is being treated like I'm not here. Everyone just went shopping. My wife has gone over all sorts of remodel plans for the garage with my son-in-law that I know nothing about other than I have to park outside. My Granddaughter (1 next week) still doesn't come to or want me. Oh, I do have three loads of laundry to do.

So I ask again? Why try?
man i know just how you feel.my be the people in your life should take a step back and look at what the problam is rather than treating you like your an illness that they mite catch if they even try to communicate with you..i have the same problam going on with my people iv sufferd for years with deprestion and shyness i feel invisable and unimportant to the ones i love but hey is it them thats making me feel like this??think about that one
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Unread 12-10-2012, 08:36 AM   #5
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keep your chin up as we say over here in england
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Unread 12-10-2012, 09:40 AM   #6
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[quote=SDFencer;936346]The biggest pain right now is being treated like I'm not here. Everyone just went shopping. My wife has gone over all sorts of remodel plans for the garage with my son-in-law that I know nothing about other than I have to park outside. My Granddaughter (1 next week) still doesn't come to or want me. Oh, I do have three loads of laundry to do.

SD Fencer--- I understand you 100% not too long ago and still feeling similar to you. I think im guilty of not sharing my feelings. I know since I been thru illness (cancer and neck surgery)---I feel friends and family cope with it by ignoring my reality. I understand and feel isolated. I recently got angry lately because I was told by someone I love--- you use to be so much fun and full of life---I felt stabbed thru the heart and betrayed and not understood. Leesa-- gave some great ideas which I think after holidays I might try myself. I know at least things are not going to get better by hiding what we really feel. I know we cant control what others say or do but we can control our own actions. It's not easy but maybe a way to start.
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