Need help thinking through issues with my mdoc

[Mari]

Hi,

I was admitted to the hospital late at night.

When I had still not seen a pdoc by the morning office hours, I turned all the furniture in the waiting room. Every piece ---couch, chair, tables--- were carefully turned upside down. I even politely asked the other patients to move please.

The pdoc showed up. He asked if I did the furniture on purpose. I said yes. He ordered that I be medicated with a shot and put in 5 point restraints in a "quiet" room. I remember his name: Palaver.

For the first 20 mins before the shot kicked in, I was yelling at them to stay away from me in that hallway.

I was part of a freaking tour. One woman on the floor was showing a visitor around (it was a teaching hospital). They stood outside my room talking about how the hospital handles procedures.

M

[waves]

I'm so sorry you went through that Mari.

It must be so difficult to deal with the memories that come up as you try to get hold of the records. I would not want to go through that, and I would not want to have to contact that stupid hospital.

is the title of your first post ("I hate her") in reference to your mdoc because this entire exercise of getting the records is to convince her that you are bipolar?

I am thinking... can you get a letter from your current pdoc instead? It seems yout have a good rapport with him - he might be willing to help you.

please don't allow yourself to get overinvolved in these activities. put a stopplug on it for today. and go do something to get your mind off it too.

i hope you can rest, and even sleep.

many hugs.

~ waves ~

[Mari]

Waves,

She wants me to see a psychiatrist she knows.
. . . mostly she thinks 1) I am not on the right meds for bipolar and / or 2) I am not properly medicated.

( I am confused about what she wants -- hence the and / or). She did say that hospital records would be helpful to her.)
I told her I would not go see another psychiatrist.

M

[waves]

Hey Mari

good for you for nixing a different pdoc.

... she sounds like a control freak....

it sounds like she needs to hear things from doctors she knows or she doesn't trust the information? yet hospital records would be useful (perhaps because it is an "institution") ... that's wild.

maybe she should go see that pdoc she knows......

since she is not a pdoc herself i'd be more than a little ticked about continuous invasive suggestions on my psych care.... we can't always get 100% results from meds, in fact seldom do. plus meds might need changing from time to time at least dosages etc. i'm sure she is confused by the verapamil for bipolar... that may be at the core of her confusion. sigh. still it's not fair for her to hassle you continuously about it... once she expressed her views, twice maybe, thens she should accept your choice of medical professionals, period, endofstory.

sorry you have to deal with this kind of crap.

~ waves ~

[Mari]

Waves,

Well, I expect that the existence of the hospital records will show that I was being treated for bipolar.

I have had bad luck with mdocs who were truly awful. I can look for another one but for now I still hope I might be able to work with her.

I can print out a case study I ran across on the internet that my pdoc wrote years ago about how Verapamil knocked out a severe case of mania in a female patient. He and I chose Verapamil because I d/c'ed the lithium on my own after the hospitalization. The standard mood stabilzers seemed to cause too much cognitive dulling. He said we could try Verapamil and we did.

M

[butterfly11]

I am so sorry for your experience at that hospital. I have been Baker Acted before (didn't know until now what it was called) and just knowing I couldn't leave the hospital made me feel more trapped which dramatically increased my agitation. I hope you can get your records soon and with as little hassle as possible. Hopefully this will give mdoc what she thinks she needs.

[bizi]

dear mari,
I really feel for you. prozac made me manic.
I am so sorry for your memories of what happened.
That sounds like a horrible experience.
thank you for sharing...please delete it if you want to .
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Brokenfriend]

Mari I'm so sorry that this traumatic "Baker Act" happened to you. Don't they realize that this is a trauma,to trauma. If students where looking in then that's shame,embarrassment,and anger. Awful!!! That sounds like a Dark Ages remedy,and should not have been done,or even considered. It sounds like a abuse by the system,and should be removed from the law. What a awful thing. BF

[Mari]

It is possible that the records go back too many years and that I will not be able to access this.
Maybe I already spent too much time on time on this. I am done.

I will tell mdoc she has to trust me.

M

[waves]

Dear Mari,

indeed the hx records may no longer exist. I think they are only required to hold them for 10 years... i agree with dropping the search on that.

i was actually going to suggest looking for an article on Verapamil...
this sounds PERFECT:

Originally Posted by Mari

I can print out a case study I ran across on the internet that my pdoc wrote years ago about how Verapamil knocked out a severe case of mania in a female patient. He and I chose Verapamil because I d/c'ed the lithium on my own after the hospitalization. The standard mood stabilzers seemed to cause too much cognitive dulling. He said we could try Verapamil and we did.

I would write out this explanation too, showing the full rationale for the choice of Verapamil over traditional stabilizers.

I have had bad luck with mdocs who were truly awful. I can look for another one but for now I still hope I might be able to work with her.

Yes, I do appreciate that. You've more than once said she's a really good mdoc... and her being an internist makes her a particularly good catch, if you can keep her.

Go into that talk with determination, stay present and calm. Using tools (Klonopin, meditation, visualization, before is good... whatever works!) Be earth when she is air. Be water when she is fire.

I do hope it works out. I wish it weren't so hard.

((((hugs))))

~ waves ~