Children of angry dads.

[Mari]

Dear Steve,

Take care and get some sleep.

M

[Dmom3005]

Steve

Its nice when you want to open up and talk to us about these kind
of things.

So thanks for sharing.

Donna

[mymorgy]

Originally Posted by Brokenfriend

Bobby I'm so sorry that you went through some of the same thing. Did your dad rage,and throw fits of anger directed at you. Did he do it often? BF

Yes they were directed at me and yes he did them often. His criticism was brutal. I got really depressed remembering it all. My mother did nothing. She just stood there. When i visited them when i was older and took the bus in, i usually would come home and start throwing up. then i would get yelled at more.
when i was badly burnt in the burn unit and finally had to call my parents to come to see me my father raged at me and yelled how could i have done that to him and stormed out of the room and my mother told me to humor me. you should have seen me...i was so badly burnt.
then when there were family problems my mother would dump them on me.
she knew i had problems.
bobby

[Dmom3005]

Bobby

Thanks for explaining. I think your mother just couldn't handle it.
Its to bad she wasn't stronger. I am so impressed with the way
you are handling how things went.

You are working so hard to get through this.

Keep working through this. And just like Steve, if it helps we are
hear to listen. Its what we do best.

Thanks for trusting us.

Donna

[Brokenfriend]

Originally Posted by mymorgy

Yes they were directed at me and yes he did them often. His criticism was brutal. I got really depressed remembering it all. My mother did nothing. She just stood there. When i visited them when i was older and took the bus in, i usually would come home and start throwing up. then i would get yelled at more.
when i was badly burnt in the burn unit and finally had to call my parents to come to see me my father raged at me and yelled how could i have done that to him and stormed out of the room and my mother told me to humor me. you should have seen me...i was so badly burnt.
then when there were family problems my mother would dump them on me.
she knew i had problems.
bobby

Awww Bobby. You where burned,and all your dad could do was think about himself. I'm so sorry. Where was the compassion?
Criticism leads to discouragement. I'm sorry about your depression.
You threw up when you visited them,and got yelled at. That shows that you have trauma. That's deep wounding,and trauma. I'm so sorry. BF

[Brokenfriend]

Dad wasn't all bad. Mom wasn't all bad either. They just had a problem with parenting. They had emotional problems.

Dad helped me financially well beyond his responsibility. He provided a apartment,rent,and food money before he had a stroke around the years 1999,or 2000. He became angry again around that time.

It goes on,and on. The whole family was in a emotional frenzy until about 2007. My sister,and I where at odds with each other for about several years. Non of us where at peace with each other. Things calmed down,and the whole family is at peace with each other now.

Thank God that things calmed down between all of us. BF

[mymorgy]

don't get me wrong. my father was a compassionate man but not within his family. he couldn't take stress. my mother was cold but she too showed compassion at times outside the family. my father was a lawyer and he never cheated anybody or anything like that. they left me with a lack of trust of people since i couldn't trust them.
bobby

[flee]

Originally Posted by mymorgy

I am one. My father was probably bipolar II and self medicated with alcohol. He was a rageacholic(SP) too, especially when he wasn't drinking. i think i became paranoid as a result. My psychiatrist said my bipolar wouldn't have been so bad if i had grown up in a different envirionment. He was also very critical and liked to make me cry.
bobby

It's so tragic that children and you Bobby have to grow up with a parent or parents like that. Remember you're not a child anymore. Realize that it was that person's choice to be that way. Now you can choose to be the way you want to be. I do believe in finding ways to heal ourselves like D. I see it like this: I wouldn't think of them as bad or good I just woudn't think of them at all. Wouldn't wish them bad or good, wish them nothing. No need to go there anymore in your feelings you are not a child anymore and now the choice is yours.

Love,
Granny Flee

[mymorgy]

hi flee
my father had a stroke and died six months later. during that time (it was a horrific stroke) he changed and became a hero in my eyes. now when i think of him, i think of him as a hero...a miracle
bobby who is still paranoid

[bizi]

Dear Bobby, I am glad that you came to terms with your dad. I did not know that he had a stroke. What is behind your paranoia?
bizi