Anybody tell me my kids won't feel mistreated when they look back on their childhood?
Not only MG, but many other things make us be there less with our kids.
In my case, it was medicine.
From a very early age my sons knew that there are days in which mom is not going to be home at night and will come back the next day like a zombie after working for 24 hours with very little rest.
They knew that dinner may be cut short because I have to talk on the phone or even rush to the hospital to see a sick patient.
I learned quite early on that feeling guilty and trying to fill in for the times I was not there, was the worst thing I could do.
Instead, I had times which were just for them. I also had special times for each of them. I also knew that discipline was not less important than kisses and hugs and even though I was tempted to skip discipline and just be nice and have fun when I had so little time with them, I knew I will cause them much more harm.
Yet, I had no doubt that they are going to hate my work as it took their mom away from them.
I was more than astonished when my older son told me that he wants to study medicine. I told him that I was sure he would hate my profession.
His answer was-mom, I knew how much you love your work and how important it is for you, but you always made me feel that I am more important for you.
What I am trying to say is that be the mother you can when you can.
I became ill when my sons were 13 and 18, so they didn't physically need me as much any more, but they still need me to be their mother. The major motivation for me to overcome the significant hardships of this illness was to be a good example for them.
When I was extremely ill and nearly bed-ridden they took care of me. They still help me and do things that I need whenever they can. They made me want to live and fight this. At the same time they continued with their own life and plans, just like I did when taking care of them.
No one's childhood is perfect, but I believe that having a loving and caring mother who has a presence (even if she is physically not there, or physically limited) is more important than cakes or clean laundry.
If you can afford having someone to help with the house chores, or even pick up the kids from school on less good days it will make life easier.