bretd, I agree with Whitney, please don't shut yourself off. We truly care about what you are going thru. I know (from personal experience) how much it helps to talk things out. I know it won't 'fix' the situation you're in, but it's just nice to know you aren't alone.
The stress of awaiting a decision on your disability must be absolutely mind-boggling. I have'nt filed for it yet, but I will be in a few months.
You probably already know this, but there is a forum here specifically for SSD and you'll get great support there as far as pending disability goes.
Is this the first time you've filed? I've heard that in more cases than not, it gets denied the first time around. But PLEASE don't give up there!
I can't help but think they do that just to weed out the people who DO give up right away so they will have less claims to go thru. (Just my stupid opinion tho
As far as the depression and the pain, I know what a circle of madness it is. One feeds off of the other. Christmas is overwith, we can put that behind us and look toward the future.
Please hang on to hope......