Join Date: Dec 2012
It didn't go well. RANT!
She began by telling me that all scans were normal and without any evidence of structural damage there was nothing further they can do for me.
I began explaining how I felt physically, still, with little to no change since the injury. I used simple language (that was great advice Mark, you hit the nail on the head there) and she asked, (rhetorically, not expecting an answer) what do you want from me, you're going to have to learn to cope. She suggested maximum two more weeks off work then modified duties at work.
I couldn't help it, I started to really, really cry. It was my first good cry since all this happened to me. I am trying to advocate for myself but with diminished verbal skills its very very hard. Under stress, no words will come. Unfinished thoughts hang in the air and I'm discarded as just emotional.
My screen is swimming as I type this on my iPad because I'm just so utterly sad that there is no help for me.
I was a high functioning marketing manager for a multimillion dollar casino facility with 30 staff directly reporting to me, with poise and excellent presentation skills, and now I can barely express myself to get any results from my doctor. Humbling. Terrifying. Hopeless.
So then she suggested a psychiatrist for my "apparent" depression. She asked, do you want medication? I said, I don't know. (because if you say yes, you're a drug seeker. And why would a doctor ask me that?) She said, well you can ask the psychiatrist for something when you see him. Oh, perfect, more waiting for the insinuation that I'm a worthless waste of someone else's time.
I'm just appalled at the apathy. This is typical Canada. I've got several things working against me. Number one, I'm female. And aren't we always a bunch of whiners. And number two, I'm in a remote area where informed, progressive doctors would never choose to practice medicine so you won't find them, ever. And three, I'm Mιtis, a visible minority which in this country doesn't bode well for objective or fair treatment.
I am scheduled to see another doctor who is "covering" for her vacation, for reassessment on Jan 18th. I hope to make some sense to her. What part of "agonizing pain, dizziness, nausea, ringing ears, full head, memory problems, can't think straight" don't they understand?
My doctor cooly, disinterestedly replied with, well people have different pain thresholds.
Might as well say, listen cry baby, suck it up and go back to work because you're a total wimp wasting my time. Work just happens to be high stress, sensory overloading, demanding, fast paced and excruciatingly loud... But you'll cope.
I read about other people's therapies on here and their successes and still, because of this so called free medical coverage that we have up in the Great White North, we are left with the level of medical doctors who know how to write a script for amoxicillin in their sleep, and if their mood allows, send you to a specialist in the city if you're dying.
I read on the forums about how others describe their symptoms to a doctor and then something happens. Nothing happens here. Describe it all you want, the answer is not coming.
I've never heard from my doctor: vestibular specialist, ophthalmologist, even physiotherapy was NOT her idea.
So after my doctors appointment I drop the forms off at work, and my human resources officer says, at the sight of my blotchy tear streaked swollen face... "don't worry about work. Maybe you can't do your job anymore and there's something else you could do."
Yes, maybe I'll become a doctor to write amoxicillin prescriptions in my sleep.
I hope she meant it to be supportive. But perhaps that lawyer idea one of you had, isn't so bad. If a fall at work renders me jobless or unable to earn at the rate I'd worked hard for... Would you call a lawyer at this point?
Sorry for the long winded anger....but this was good therapy for me. Thanks for reading.
About it: October 26, 2012 I fell backward on an icy parking lot. My PCS at 6 months: variable head and neck pain, occasional mild dizziness, fullness in the head, ears, and sinuses, convergence insufficiency, diminishing light and noise sensitivity, sequencing struggles, short term memory struggles, verbal processing delays. CT neg, MRI neg. Therapies: prism glasses, acupuncture, icing neck, resting, supplementing, Elavil 20mg at bedtime. NEW: Beginning intense 4 hour physical therapy DAILY (for Return to Work plan) for 10 weeks!
About me:I'm off work on workers comp coverage, from my career as marketing manager. I am a mom, and wife to a heart attack survivor.