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CRPS is killing my relationship, I need advice.

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Unread 01-05-2013, 09:43 PM   #11
finz
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Ask your bf if he thinks it would be reasonable to expect a women in active labor experiencing frequent painful contractions to try to ignore the pain of each contraction and keep on going with her housework. Then ask him if while that women is actually pushing out that baby, she should "quit whining" and keep up with her daily chores.......


Then, recommend that your bf check out the McGill Pain Index: http://tuum-est.com/MEDICALJUSTICE/McGill.html


If he's still being a jerk, give him my phone number. I'd LOVE to have a conversation with him about exactly what his educational background in medicine or healthcare is and why ANYONE should listen to his opinions about the dx and tx of RSD.

You might want to let him know that I have suffered from RSD for over 7 years. I also have carpal tunnel in my left wrist.
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Gee, this looks like a great place to sit and have a picnic with my yummy bone !
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CRPSsongbird (01-08-2013), Nanc (01-08-2013)
Unread 01-08-2013, 05:34 PM   #12
CRPSsongbird
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Thanks Fin,

I'm quickly coming to the realization, that this relationship is going down in burning flames. I'm also finding new reserves or strength and determination I didn't know I had! I have no idea why but today I suddenly found myself wondering why I was putting up with such bull crap! I am 30 yrs old not 13 and it's about time I started to focus on me for a change. Whether he can grow with me doesn't really matter. Not to sound cold, but I've spent far too long catering to the needs of others.......

I am woman and this is me ROARING!!! LOL
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Unread 01-08-2013, 10:26 PM   #13
Nanc
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Hi Emily - Fin posted what I was going to recommend, have him look at the McGill Pain Index. My husband said that it really is an eye opener. I am very fortunate to have such a supporting husband. He sees my suffering and doesn't question it. He wishes that he could take it away, he knows he can't so he does anything he can to help me out.

If your BF is so self-centered that he is only concerned with himself and his video game, then he is not worthy of your time. You need to kick him to the curb. RSD/CRPS is difficult enough to deal with, you do not need the added stress of anyone putting you down or telling you to suck it up. They are not worth the added pain the stress causes.

You really need to focus on yourself right now, especially when you are in the early stages. The fact that the blocks are helping is great. Also, if he is acting like this now, what happens down the road if the RSD/CRPS progresses...you do not need to put up with that kind of crap.

I have been suffering with RSD for almost 22 years and I have been married a little over 13 years. It took some of my family members quite a while to "get it", but thankfully they do. No one will fully understand it like those of us who suffer from it, but loved ones who show empathy and understanding are better to be around then those who try to tell you that you can't be in that much pain or just deal with it.

Sorry, I could go on and on...but I should stop
I wish you the best of luck with this...
Nanc
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Unread 01-09-2013, 06:53 PM   #14
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I can say I've been in your shoes before with having a relationship suffer because of CRPS.

I can also say I've heard various family members say they would like to see me "get better without the use of those addicting drugs" and that I should be able to pull myself up without the use of meds.

I'm not going to say any simplistic answers because it is not a simple problem. Just that you are dealing with a relationship challenge, and that many couples deal with unique challenges. I hope your fiance' loves you enough to try to understand you better. And that he should probably learn about what CRPS is because it affects you so much.

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Unread 01-10-2013, 07:57 PM   #15
Dagentil
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EMILY ANDERSON View Post
MY fiance and I are arguing all the time.
He says that since he had to wait 3 years
waiting for carpal tunnel to be diagnosed and
surgically repaired that he knows exactly what
I'm feeling and that I just need to "deal" with it.
And not to "put on a face"? I guess I look like
I'm in pain........I tried telling him he doesn't
know exactly what I'm feeling or how much I can
handle because he's not me.
I just don't think he gets the level that CRPS goes to.

I did give him info on CRPS he doesn't think I have a "syndrome".
I told him 2 different doctors agree with the diagnosis. With him
I seriously don't know what to do. He has pain issues as well ie
herniated C6 & C7 in lower neck. And I still do things, however
slowly,like try to clean as best I can. I even dish up his dinner and
bring it to him. It's hard to lift or carry anything w/o pain though.
And he literally said today He's worried because and I quote "What if something bad happened to me, how could you take care of me?"
He also said I need to learn how to deal with this with no medication....
......I don't see how this is going to last with that kind of thinking.
I tried explaining if I try to have -0- medication I would end up crying
most of the time. He still just said you just have to "cope" with it.....and kept turning it to HIS needs.I'm at a loss of what I can do there.
I just don't understand what else I can do. Or how to make him see,
I have actually said the words "I need you right now, even just to hold me"
And he just said "I don't want to lay down right now" and went back to playing a video game.......which I actually calculated he plays between 35-50 hours a week.

Please ANY help would be appreciated...
I have been diagnosed with CRPS also. I can barely walk. You're partner does not have any idea what you are going through or he would be more understanding. I'm over 4.5 years now living with this hell. I think I may finally be onto something since after 50 doctors... no one really comes up with anything sound. I think I may be dealing with sever over growth of Candida. It does effect muscle pain.
hang in there
D. G.
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Unread 01-21-2013, 11:03 PM   #16
polarisgold
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CRPSsongbird View Post
SIGH....

I am so tired today. I had physical therapy, had me do very light weight lifting it hurt....My fiance is still being a jerk. he actually said "I don't think you have crps whatever" and " He thinks I need to quit taking all the meds and just let my body run it course" because " he's had pain just and bad and he lived so I need to quit whining"....Funnily enough I wasn't whining. And now apparently
he knows more than my doctors as I "don't have" CRPS.......We got in an arguement the ther day because I got mad when I saw peanut shelling all over the kitchen. Mind you, I had spent about 2 hours cleaning this last weekend which reduced me to tears from the pain......iI don;t see any hop[e for this relationship. But I'm truly scared of trying to be on my own right now. What if my CRPS gets really bad then what happens....I become homeless?
On one hand I can't keep up with the stress and work of taking care of everyone else when I need help right now.
On the other I'm still early in the disease.......what happens if/when I can't work? Then what.....
Can't afford the new medication, Cymbalta, it's 136.00, so calling docs like crazy before the weekend so I don't end up in the E.R. or in extreme pain!
Have you looked into SCRAMBLER THERAPY? I've had rsd/crps since '98. Just this past November it started to spread from my left foot to my right foot. I am planning on saving enough money and begging from friends in order to try this therapy....I've tried everything else.................

Do a search on this therapy and let me know what ya think.....Paul
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