old combat vet

I have complex ptsd, it keeps me up most nights from all the nightmares, after many many years and lots of meds you would think things would get easier, it hasnt. I still go to a doctor once or sometimes twice aweek. i belong to a vet support group, nothing has really helped me, Im still very mad....dont know why? I stay tense like im still waiting for things to happen and they dont. sometimes it gets me in trouble like fighting mostly. My older brother who killed himself died from the samething, his depression got so bad mixed with his nightmares and bad nerves....he couldnt take it anymore. I dont think im that weak! Im still here every day fighting to keep going.

[Muffy1219]

Sir I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. Just 2 days ago I put my husband in the psyche ward at the VA hospital. He went through the PTSD program 12 yrs. ago long before I was his wife. Prior to that he was in & out of this ward for many problems, nightmares etc.. He is not sure what has caused this relapse but never the less its here. Without the medications he takes his depression grows into a nasty thing. So the VA said he went many yrs. with no problems & now he needs a tune up. Just want to mention he too tried suicide many yrs. ago. He is doing the same thing as you....fighting to keep going and yes its a daily struggle. He could not make it w/o the meds. I hate seeing him take all this medicine but he says he can't make it w/o the stuff. I know what I saw the last couple of days.....I thought he was having a nervous breakdown, the crying and sadness. I was terrified. Then I went to see him last night & could not believe that there seemed to be a 100% change for the better. Just 24hrs. later after they starting to change meds he was a different guy. He says he will be in there for 10-15 days until the med situation is determinded. I just want him home. He said they are happy he came in on his own instead of completely crashing. As for me.....I worked with Vietnam Vets for 3 yrs. online counseling so we live very good together cause I understand him. I just thought he was going through one of his quiet phases but that was not the case. Thank God he said something to me. He too is up all night while I'm asleep. I feel so sorry for you guys what you go through. To come home after a war & have to still relive the hell is surely an awful way to exist. You hang in there guy.

[Brazjion]

Originally Posted by fallenangelx

I have complex ptsd, it keeps me up most nights from all the nightmares, after many many years and lots of meds you would think things would get easier, it hasnt. I still go to a doctor once or sometimes twice aweek. i belong to a vet support group, nothing has really helped me, Im still very mad....dont know why? I stay tense like im still waiting for things to happen and they dont. sometimes it gets me in trouble like fighting mostly. My older brother who killed himself died from the samething, his depression got so bad mixed with his nightmares and bad nerves....he couldnt take it anymore. I dont think im that weak! Im still here every day fighting to keep going.

Would love to help you with this...in a rush at the moment...but lets talk!!
Also, what state are you in if you don't mind? No one has to live like this...i promise...it can stop!

[Soldier]

Hey Ole Vet, After 24 years, a few wars, lots of struggle and anger, I'm workin' it. My nightmare is very specific and recurrent so if yours is not, then this may not assist your sit. My first war was Desert Storm, where I flew so much that they used to have to pull my numb legs out of the pilot's seat. Ten(+) hrs on an ejection seat every other night wasn't good. Once after a mission I listened to a BBC report as I fell asleep in my hooch. The guy was reporting on torture houses he found in Kuwait City, the usual stuff, crank up phone, saw with a salt block to peel thigh meat and the little bucket with a spoon where the placed the popped out eyeballs. The next mission was bad wx and as I was getting driven out to my plane I dozed off before the first "image" hit me. My ruck with MOPP gear became my best friend as I screamed into it. That was 23 years ago and I still have the nightmares. I still listen to radio at night but removed anything that could resemble "the EYE" or bucket or phone. So try and modify your environment so as not to sustain any existing nightmares. Also, try to encourage friends and family that it's NOT funny to sneak up on you and watch what happens. Good luck.

[bgt1121]

My son who was in the 2nd Iraq was also has ptsd and anger issues he served in the suni triangle in 05 bad time.my brother was in Desert storm my dad was Vietnam all have their own form of Ptsd. Each is angry and have a right to be as does every vet I know including both sons in law (one in Desert Storm and the other was deployed to Iraq and Afganastan 5 times) why would the Heros not be be angry.They were called and answered that call and then left to make do when they so very much need help. I have been at a total loss as to what to do for each of these men in my life.I pray every day for those who have served and are serving today that some thing will come along to help each one heal.I pray for your families also.
Gail