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I'm so afraid

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Unread 09-08-2012, 06:28 AM   #1
RavenC
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Default I'm so afraid

Hi there,
I'm terribly afraid. The one I love is getting old. He is still healthy for his age, but is getting problems older body's get, stiffness, some organs are declining a bit, you know.
But this is very, very hard for me to accept. I'm so terribly afraid of losing him. I love him so, so much and he's my best friend, we do practicly everything with together.

What I want to ask, to the people who lost someone they loved so much it hurts, can you go on after that? Because for me, at this point, it just seems impossible, and I think I just might go totally insane, or just die because of grief.
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Unread 09-08-2012, 08:00 AM   #2
Leesa
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Bless your heart --- Please don't project. Why destroy today and tomorrow by worrying? Worry doesn't help anything, and it doesn't stop anything from happening. You're only driving yourself insane!

If he is in good health, rejoice in that and keep him close! Enjoy the time you have! You could have MANY years left together so enjoy those!

My husband died 12 days before our FIRST anniversary! It was a 2nd marriage for both of us obviously, but we didn't know he was sick when we got married. We were told he was terminal after we'd been married for 4 months. I nursed him until he died.

YES you CAN move on after a loved one dies. It's very difficult for awhile. You must grieve, and that can take quite awhile for some. We all grieve at different time "schedules." But after we've healed to some extent, we do go on. That doesn't mean that we don't MISS our loved one or love him anymore -- it just means that we're able to function now, and get on with our lives.

Please don't rain on today. We aren't even PROMISED tomorrow so rejoice in today!! That's all we have. God bless you BOTH and take care. Hugs, Lee
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recovering alcoholic, sober since 7-29-93;severe depression; 2 open spinal surgeries; severe sciatica since 1986; epidurals; trigger points; myelograms; Rhizotomy; Racz procedure; spinal cord stimulator implant (and later removal); morphine pump trial (didn't work);now inoperable; lumpectomy; radiation; breast cancer survivor; heart attack; fibromyalgia; on disability.



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Unread 09-17-2012, 12:08 PM   #3
RavenC
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Thank you leesa.
I know youre right, but i cant seem to get there i do everything to keep him healthy but its making me crazy.
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Unread 09-17-2012, 01:30 PM   #4
ginnie
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Default Hi Raven

Grief is something most of us live with, either getting over it, going through it, or contemplating it. I lost a daughter. I never get over her not being in my life, but you can and do go on. It takes time, sometimes council, mostly empathy. We are all inbetween these states of existance. Enjoy each minute you have now. If the time comes that you loose your partner, we will be here for you in whatever way we can. You cry alot, sometimes till there are no more tears left to cry. You get sick sometimes. Time does ease the ache. In my life, the ache is always there, for my folks, my daughter. I cherish my friends, and just live one day at a time. We all do this in our own way. You are not alone Raven. Part of being human, we do have to find a way to get through the hurt. I will keep you and your partner in my thoughts. ginnie
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Unread 09-19-2012, 08:03 PM   #5
lolo217
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Originally Posted by RavenC View Post
Thank you leesa.
I know youre right, but i cant seem to get there i do everything to keep him healthy but its making me crazy.
hi raven, i wrote u at lenghth and got booted. i tooam having maritial problems. im not going to try and remember everything i wrote just know i am hear to help! what is your ailment? best wishes and god bless
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Unread 09-20-2012, 05:42 AM   #6
ginnie
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Default Hi lolo

Heard you got booted. I know why, there is a time limit for the most part. When you sign in, there is a little box that says "remember me" click on that, and that shouldn't happen. ginnie
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Unread 09-25-2012, 04:27 AM   #7
Bob Dawson
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Originally Posted by ginnie View Post
Grief is something most of us live with, either getting over it, going through it, or contemplating it. I lost a daughter. I never get over her not being in my life, but you can and do go on. It takes time, sometimes council, mostly empathy. We are all inbetween these states of existance. Enjoy each minute you have now. If the time comes that you loose your partner, we will be here for you in whatever way we can. You cry alot, sometimes till there are no more tears left to cry. You get sick sometimes. Time does ease the ache. In my life, the ache is always there, for my folks, my daughter. I cherish my friends, and just live one day at a time. We all do this in our own way. You are not alone Raven. Part of being human, we do have to find a way to get through the hurt. I will keep you and your partner in my thoughts. ginnie

http://youtu.be/iGF5y0B1eJU
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Unread 09-28-2012, 01:02 PM   #8
Bob Dawson
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Originally Posted by RavenC View Post
Hi there,
I'm terribly afraid. ...
What I want to ask, to the people who lost someone they loved so much it hurts, can you go on after that? Because for me, at this point, it just seems impossible, and I think I just might go totally insane, or just die because of grief.
Can you go on after that? Yes you can, RavenC. And you MUST go on. Let me provide you with no reassurance whatsoever about how much it hurts. There are no words for how much it hurts. It hurts more than you think is possible and then it goes on hurting some more. And for hours and for days your tears pour down like falling rain and you cry yourself to sleep and then you wake up crying, and you cry on the bus and you cry on the telephone and then you really break down and you lie down on the floor, screaming and wailing, until you lose your voice and pass out from exhaustion. And slowly slowly you start to live again,
But something huge has changed in your life. And all that pain came from love. And you see the value of every human life and the beauty of love and the discovery of your own life, and you start to get really strong and go straight back in to life, in honor of your loved one - because that is what he or she would have wanted you to do - live the life we have been given with the best of who we are and not the worst of who we are. When a loved one dies, you never again have to wonder what matters.
the greatest thing
you will ever learn
is just to love
and be loved in return
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Unread 01-09-2013, 04:48 PM   #9
dyas62
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Default going on

Quote:
Originally Posted by RavenC View Post
Hi there,
I'm terribly afraid. The one I love is getting old. He is still healthy for his age, but is getting problems older body's get, stiffness, some organs are declining a bit, you know.
But this is very, very hard for me to accept. I'm so terribly afraid of losing him. I love him so, so much and he's my best friend, we do practicly everything with together.

What I want to ask, to the people who lost someone they loved so much it hurts, can you go on after that? Because for me, at this point, it just seems impossible, and I think I just might go totally insane, or just die because of grief.
yes i feel we can go on,if you feel you cant-BEFORE anything happens get some metal help-- i did but it was almost too late,dont let it get that bad brefore you do something.

sue
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