Welcome! At the outset you are endeavoring to be so proactive it is a blessing to read and will surely work to the good for your little one.
I am one who was and still is held in the dark by parents and a system which perpetuates denial regarding that which burdened me from early on. Medicine had this idea I would be traumatized to know truth since it had no inkling of the notion truth sets free. My parents were assuredly locked into the denial and secrecy cabinet for to this day, even with Dad now deep into Alzheimers and unable to respond my mother holds me off with "why would you do this to me?" euphemisms...... I love my mother and hate the behavior, for to have answers would fill in the puzzle my doctors have fleshed out for me, and it is not fun. Thank you for living the life of the concerned healthful parent.
My wife and I have a son who will likely always be with us or with one of his siblings as he suffers from Schizoaffective Disorder and other alphabet soup varieties of issues. When his situation first became evident, the destructive behavior he wrought upon our family was horrific, yet through faith and helpful compassionate docs we were ULTIMATELY able to work out that medicinal cocktail which was necessary to help him recapture some of the sweet, fun loving, compassionate individual he had lived prior to the manifestation of his issues on the surface where we could see them.
Now, he is back into college classes, carefully structured and limited so as not to trigger episodic problems for him, AND he is enjoying himself! He who seemed lost to us is, in part, returning from the fog and this is a very welcome blessing! We still know and appreciate he will require care throughout life, yet, he is able to functionally be among us and live joy.
He has been kept in the know of his condition from the start, as his unbridled participation was key to gaining the strides which have been made in his care. It has not always been pretty, for he has suffered a great deal, not wanting this, not wanting this, not wanting this....... he, in seizure would enunciate "miserable, miserable, miserable" over and over again for hours until the prescribed sedative we had to administer would kick in.
Gratefully, we seem to be moving beyond some of the worst, and this young man, who is brilliant in many things, including art, is blossoming one careful petal at a time anew.
I pray for you and your daughter and family all will assuredly be well as you work through this, I truly do,
May peace surround you,