I hate to hear what you are going through, but sometimes there is a time when you can no longer work in an effective manner. I have been there. If you do not get the treatment you need, I do not see how you can get better. With cervical spine, kidney issues, migraines...you may well be approved for disability--if denied, refile. I know it can be hard for men, my Dad worked 35 years at one job and became disabled--it was so difficult for him emotionally as well as physically. No one ever lost their respect for him for being disabled. If someone judges you without even knowing you, let it be their problem
, not yours. People have judged me without even knowing me; but as far as I am concerned, I do not value the opinion of judgmental people. You need medical help!
I suggest maybe getting a free consultation with a disability law firm, and make sure there is documentation from your doctors to back up your conditions. Who knows--with proper treatment, you might be able to gain employment elsewhere. It is imperative to be able to get some type of medical care. I feel at this point you have nothing to lose by filing for disability. I hope and pray all works out for you.