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What does your cognitive difficulty feel like?

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Unread 02-21-2013, 01:19 AM   #1
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Default What does your cognitive difficulty feel like?

I'm still not entirely sure I have PCS, as my only symptom is mental inclarity, which can be a number of things.

To me, it feels as if my internal dialogue is gone. Like when I used to think, I had an actual train of though that was my own voice in my head, and it was almost as loud and clear as my own voice was to myself, but inside my head. It was just like when you hear a character's thoughts in a TV show. Now that is gone. I don't have thoughts like that and it feels as if my mind is blank. This is 24/7.

I don't get any other symptoms, no headache or dizziness, nausea, etc. And my symptoms can be attributed to depersonalization disorder, which is what im more convinced I have. Just really need to know whether or not I'm going through PCS or something else, so I can find the right way to go about treating it.
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Unread 02-21-2013, 09:25 AM   #2
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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I still have my voice in my head, in fact sometimes I wish it would shut up! Sometimes the voice in my head is more me then the body. Does that make sense? I don't understand why I'm doing/saying/not doing things when I'm telling myself not to.

I also find that I can't visualize things in my head. The chalkboard that used to be there is gone. Like when trying to do math or something.

I kind of describe it like this too... I seem to only be able to access the outer part of my brain. I don't feel like I can go deep into it to think about something. More like I'm reacting and not thinking. The file drawers seem to be gone from the cabinet. I still remember stuff but only if its at the surface.

This confusing explanation probably didn't help much. Sorry its so hard to explain! Just feels like a black void on my head. Sometimes its buzzy, sometimes its cloudy, sometimes it hurts.

I can see it being really hard to diagnose something from one symptom. Maybe it would be better to focus on a solution and forget diagnosis?

Good luck to you!
I'm a 39 year old, female, accountant. On July 2, 2012 I crashed my bike at the end of a 65KM road ride. I was fine that day but woke up the next morning to my current world.

Ongoing symptoms include: dizziness, blurred vision, light and noise sensitivities, cognitive problems, uncontrollable emotions/depression/anxiety, headaches (but they're getting better), mental and physical fatigue, difficulty communicating and sleep disturbances.

Currently seeing a fabulous Neuro Psychologist and vestibular physiotherapist and hoping to soon see a neuro ophthalmologist. I am currently doing 20 minute stationary bike rides daily, 20 minutes of meditating, 15 minutes of Lumosity and lots of resting. I have not been able to work or drive since the accident.

The things that have helped me the most since the accident are vestibular therapy, gel eye drops (for blurred vision, sensitivity and dryness), amitriptyline (10mg), and meditating. I am finally starting to see some slight improvements and am hopeful!

My brain WANTS to heal itself... I just have to let it and stop trying to get better!
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Unread 02-21-2013, 11:30 AM   #3
Mark in Idaho
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Location: The Treasure Valley of Idaho
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Have you had a NeuroPsychological Assessment ? It would help you understand these things.

I have a difficult time with those internal thought processes. But, I know I have very poor immediate and short term memory skills. I also have very little ability to visualize in my head. I used to have a photographic memory and with it a pictoral way of thinking. I can not create pictures in my mind anymore.

So, hopefully you can see how I don't have many of the mental functions that most take for granted. I believe these same symptoms can be a part of and cause of the sense of depersonalization.

As I said, a NPA may help you understand this.

My best to you.
Mark in Idaho

60 years old, retired due to disability, married 34 years, father of three, grandfather of four, Suffered a serious concussion at 10 years old (1965) stopped most driving after concussion at 46 years old (2001), Post Concussion Syndrome/Multiple Concussion/Impact Syndrome with PTSD, immediate/short term visual and auditory memory problems, slowed processing speed, visual/auditory processing difficulties, insomnia, absence seizures, OCD, 14 concussions since first concussion at 8 years old, Taking paroxetine for 14 years and gabapentin for 12 years. Added L-Tryptophan and stopped paroxetine after 3 months of tapering. I currently take 100 mgs of 5-HTP AM, 500 mgs of L-Tryptophan at noon.

As of Nov 15th, Due to high stress issues resulting in PTSD, docs put me on 3 meds. Clonazepam but only for 30 days ) .125 mgs twice daily (Doc presc. .25 mgs 2x daily but half a tablet is good) , citalopram (Celexa), an SSRI , and olanzapine (Zyprexa), an atypical anti-psychotic that usually causes weight gain before bed. I lost over 30 pounds since mid July. It just stopped the weight loss. Took me off the gabapentin.

May 2014, I am off the olanzapine due to a 6 fold price increase. Back on 600 mgs of gabapentin before bed.
Oct 2014, off the Celexa. The 5-HTP is doing much better and leaves me feeling normal as compared to being on an SSRI.

I am also taking L-Theanine to help with GABA regulation

"Be Still and Know That I am God" Psalm 46:10
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