Hi Bryanna!
Sorry, this time I missed your message!!!
Today with the help of my wife I was able to get some pictures of the extracted tooth area.
FYI, this area has been healing since 1/25. I have an appointment set up with the oral surgeon on 3/14 to do the bone graft. I'm again seeking your opinion as to whether the extraction looks normal (plus a million more questions at the bottom of this odyssey).
What I'm trying to show in the pics is that there's like a gouge, a "V" shape and at the top there's a couple of bumps that look like bones still in there. I get all queasy when I touch them. Eww...

I'm just thinking with that huge gouge there...there's no way I could put a nesbit / flipper thing in there so it would sit normally and I could chew on that side again.
So I called a local place where I live that has a indigent clinic and they said they were not qualified to give an opinion....??? Would have been nice since it would have been like $45 for a consult. Okay..so, there's this place in MA that my sister went to. But they would charge about $200 for a consult. I'm struggling financially and my HSA account is getting precariously low. I have super high deductible health insurance in case I get run over by a bull or something and end up in ICU. But I digress.....
I'm just trying to figure out if getting a bone graft is a waste of time at this point because the area seems too cut up with the "V" and warped and with the hole that nothing I put in would fit evenly. Also, the bumps on that top of my gum (the bone thingies...I was able to get the one white bump / bone on the right to show in the pic but the left wasn't showing up...must have taken 30 shots just to get these to come out clearly) have those bone thingies in there and they'd rub against whatever I'd ultimately stick in there, whether it's a bridge, a denture, a flipper.....or other...things that you put in the area of a missing tooth.
I don't want to put an implant in there because 1. it's going to be WICKED expensive (4k+) and 2. I am super worried that there's going to be a problem that I can't fix (like this horrible weird "V" thing I can't get rid of that nothing will fit evenly and comfortably. Plus, those bone spurs would rub against whatever appliance I put in there. Then I touch those bone spurs and the "V" it makes my knees get weak and think I've got mangled gums now

)
So I'm freaking out basically. My sister says..."hey, you might not want to go back to that guy and go see the holistic dentists I went to. It's only going to be about $200 per consult. (she's doing well financially). Maybe they'll give you a discount if you have them do the work." And then I'm thinking, "They did good with my sister but what if they do the work on me and then they screw my gums up even more?? The first guy is an oral surgeon (a doctor) but he's old school and did that "V" thing on my teeth with those elevator things. But if I go to the other place I could end up getting Doctor Giggles as my dentist!!" Actually, the person who extracted my sister's teeth looked like Dr. Jonathan Crane / Scarecrow from Batman Begins. She was creeped out but he did a good job. (see below why I know this)
So I'm at a get together with my sister and I wanted to look at her extracted gum hole. (yeah, I'm weird like that). So I looked and it looks like they did a good job with her extraction. She didn't have any "V" thing and no bone spurs. I asked if she wanted to see my gouge but she declined. Anyway, sufficient to say I'm didn't get the relief I was hoping for thinking my gums are just fine after looking at hers.
Woah, I just wrote another book. Sorry.
So, what I'm concerned..freaking out about is.
1. The time clock. The deadline to my gums flattening out from no graft must be getting close. If I don't do something soon I'll have a flat gum! So I gotta do something fast!
2. The "V" bone spur thing. Nothing will fit in there right even with a bone graft. Those bone things make me freak out and I'm sure it's gonna hurt if I put something over it like a flipper or a bridge. And I'm afraid if I ask the oral surgeon to fix it he's gonna get ****** and annoyed and grind them down with a sander or something! Or worse! (I don't know for sure what worse could be...but I can imagine some things. I don't want so say here because it might happen). :O
3. Who do I go with for the bone graft? Do I stay with the oral surgeon or go with the holistic dentists? (I guess that depends on whether you think it's pretty normal the way things look right now).
4. should I get a bone graft? Do I need one if I'm totally not going to get any more surgery in my mouth (especially no implants which get screwed into my jaw... :O) That would be a recipe for disaster. But maybe the graft will help with a flipper or a bridge or a nesbit or whatever else to make things nice and even and smooth so I can chew on my left side again. So whatever I put in there should ultimately will be comfortable. That's why I was thinking about the bone graft.
5. I probably missed something but I'll wait until you take a look at the pics and see what you think. Maybe there's cause for concern or maybe not. With this dental adventure things just haven't gone so well. You know the history. The only thing good so far is that tooth is out (which should have been extracted to begin with) and I'm not feeling any pain there now.
Anyway, sorry again for the novel. I start and then realize how much I wrote. :O