Originally Posted by Dmom3005
First good news, for Derrick.
Next please keep my daughter in law and granddaughter Deana in your prayers. Her ex-husband and father are taking them back to court next week, to try and get visitation. There is a restraining order for this. So hopefully
it wont happen. THere were charges of molestation, as a younger child that
couldn't be completely proven. But strong enough, that for some reason he
quite coming to get her.
We do not even have a clue why he quit coming.
So now all the sudden about 5 years later he is trying, there are rumors, he
is moving out of state. And is planning to take her with him. But not tell
anyone. So we will see.
She is old enough know to tell the judge she doesn't want to see him. My daughter-in-law has not influenced her at all with this issue. We have been
sure to get her counseling. And she has had a school based one too.
So they are going to court with her too. Along with me, since my daughter-in-law has cognitive issues, that make it hard for her to understand the court issues too.
We then will see if she should need a lawyer.
Great news about the confernce, what a weight off for sure. Glad that is working out for the kids.
About the dil, I worked with families and courts for estranged families and our program ran supervised visitations. The dil is going to need an attorney. There likely is no longer a restraining order in affect. The longest I heard of one was three years in our jurisdiction. But, even with a restraining order, the parents were allowed visits, they just had to be supervised. I had parents in jail, on probation for molestation, but the parent was still allowed visits.
The kids could not state they did not want to see the parent. Courts feel you do not allow your child to say they do not want to go to school. The court will have a psych eval on both parents and child, and perhaps have the first contacts to view interaction with child in that setting.
I went through this personally, and that is why I got into it professionally. I still do a lot of supervised exchanges and visits as referred fromt the court or attorneys.
Especially if the dil has communication problems, if her ex has an attorney he will really attack her. He would bring up her problems in an attempt to discredit her and build up his client.
Many times it is a child support matter. Make sure dil is getting the majority updated amount she is entitled to, if he is playing games. Sometimes the ex's will go away if they think the support will be left alone.
My ex tried this same thing, although nurses heard him say he was going to drop our newborn on the floor, he still got supervised visits until he tired of them. It was all about, if you take me for support, I will get visitation. After supervised visits, he just never made any parenting gains in their eyes, refused the parenting course he needed and said he was not going to see the kdis anymore.
These fathers just think as sperm donors they have rights, but they still need to establish safe environment. I hope he lets it drop, but sounds like this may be a battle. IF he does move and abadons the child, make sure dil follows up with child abadonment after a year. THis document protects her, heaven forbid something happes as in my dd situation with an estate. We never think about this horror, but it happened to me, and never want a Mom with deadbeat go through what I did.
My prayers are with them,