I am not doing well....

[waves]

great job with the charting. that must be a big relief.

and having got the billing done, can you expect some payments to start coming in soon? that will be nice! i think you prioritized very well.

glad you are trying to stay hydrated when you do drink. it doesn't just feel better, but it is better for your body. just think when you drink a glass of water, already you are doing something good for yourself.

you are making lots of progress Bizi! ... amazing progress actually, considering you were feeling so llow.

how are you feeling today?



~ waves ~

[Dmom3005]

Bizi

Your motto, has always been one day at a time. Return to that.

Now you have just come off and need to return to the wagon. It happens
and you know that. And your ready to return.

We are all here ready to help. Also I think your doing amazing getting
back to your business side.

Donna

[waves]

Bizi

as I see it, you've been under a lot of pressure for a long time, but you hadn't really been facing it. now, you are facing up to it, starting to come to terms, finding ways to cope, sorting things out. this is an ordeal. you can be proud of yourself for having gained awareness of your situation, having the motivation to change, and bit by bit, finding the energy to make changes one thing at a time.

i would not add pressure on yourself about the alcohol. you are feeling bad about it i know, but it is a temporary thing. You can take care of yourself by drinking water, and make little improvements to the situation by saying no to this drink here, or that drink there, when you feel you can. Other than that, i'd say go with the flow until you feel stronger.

Can you just trust that you will stop drinking when the timing is right? I know you CAN do it, because you've already proven it. Last time your pdoc's scare tactic only "worked" because ultimately, YOU were ABLE to rein yourself in. YOU take FULL CREDIT for that. (She did not lock you in a tower or give you antabuse.) I see no point in piling more pressure on yourself right now, added to those you already have and are just starting to cope with. When the other pressures lessen you will be in better shape to deal with the alcohol issue, and I know you WILL deal with it.

-------------------------------------

You have accomplished SO MUCH in just a few days, despite a gloomy mood hanging over you. You have done, and are still doing a TON of things, important things.

This is something you can be proud of. It is good reason for an internal celebration. Please, allow yourself to really revel in it! Mentally and emotionally...

roll in it, like a pig in mud!

love

~ waves ~

[butterfly11]

Congratulations on being caught up until Feb 8th!!! That wasn't that far away! Waves is right, I hope you are proud of the progress you've made. Thinking of you today (((((())))))

[ginnie]

I am thinking about you too. ginnie

[bizi]

Thank you for your kind words of support.
You guys are wonderful and I appreciate each and everyone of you.
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi
*who is already thinking about my next drink this evening....sigh

[Mari]

Hi, Bizi,

You are going to be o.k.
I hope that mood-wise you feel better than you did a few days ago.
M

[bizi]

yes I feel better.
Having this place to come to and vent and get support and having my mother available for an additional ear and her support, mean a lot to me.
so thank you all.
bizi