Bad day***vent

[SmilinEyesMs305]

I'm at 16 months post accident and still struggling. My first neuro was completely clueless. Fortunately, I was able to finally find a team of doctors who get it. Kelly, I hope what you have recently found out and your drs can finally help you find some relief and feel more supported. My advice for those of you who aren't getting help from your doctors is to try another. I know it's a huge pain to do that, but there is more than can be done in terms of medication and therapies that may be of benefit to you. After more than a year of this, and realizing most people don't get it, I've decided that if you don't want to take the time to understand my struggle, I'll move on to someone who does. Thankfully, this meant finding new doctors.

As for returning to work, I'm worried I will have to try to find something soon, as I have another 16 months of waiting for a disability hearing, and can't pay my bills..... I just don't know what else to do. My employer treated me the same way at 3 months out from my injury and fired me when I was unable to return to work. (I was not FMLA eligible because I had only been with the company 11 and a half months when the accident happened.)

I agree, thank God for this site. Just know that there are others who have been in your shoes and are sending positive vibes your way. Keep pluggin away. We're here for you

[Mist8012]

Thank you for sharing smilineyes!

I'm sorry to hear of the financial burden you're in. I've been wondering if I'll ever recover enough to return to nursing. Especially after having my first panic attack for just being in the building. I thought this PTSD diagnosis was wrong but hubby said he knew this diagnosis was right around the corner. After being attacked by a patient I haven't dealt with the emotional aspects of this injury just the physical and didn't realize I was afraid but now know I am.

Not sure if I'll have to go down the disability road. It's too soon to tell.

How did you know that was the route for you? Just curious of what you've gone through.

Kelly

[rosebower]

Originally Posted by Mist8012

Michaelabella,

I haven't gone back to work yet and not sure if I could handle my line of work anymore. Any advice? I have a return to work meeting with them tomorrow and afraid of the outcome coz they are so darn pushy!

I have also enjoyed this site. My doctor just gives me a weird look every time I say I feel the same as before. Like it's unusual. I'll see what they say this afternoon when I see them again

Kelly

I went the the ER for a spider bite the other night and the young doctor there when I told him I'm 8 months in to PCS looked at me strange and said "You should have been done with that concussion after 1 month. Here's our neurology dept. number." Now first of all PCS obviously does not last just 1 month. Second of all it's alarming to think there may be something ELSE wrong with you that's a total mystery. All I can conclude is that this young doc new nothing about PCS and thought he did. So your doctor is not the only one who gives you weird looks because he doesn't realize what a haul PCS is. BUT my mom went to see a nurse practitioner at her doctor's and when she heard I had PCS she flatly stated "I'm so sorry to hear it! That's 1-2 years of mood swings and symptoms." That would have terrified me at the start but now at least I know it's a long haul, but not indefinite.

[rosebower]

Originally Posted by Mist8012

I've been wondering if I'll ever recover enough to return to nursing. Especially after having my first panic attack for just being in the building. I thought this PTSD diagnosis was wrong but hubby said he knew this diagnosis was right around the corner. After being attacked by a patient I haven't dealt with the emotional aspects of this injury just the physical and didn't realize I was afraid but now know I am.

Not sure if I'll have to go down the disability road. It's too soon to tell.

Kelly

I had head trauma 2 weeks away from graduating a CNA class with the intention of nursing down the road. I definitely cannot do the nursing home work I was intending to do (I'm getting married next year and I wanted to have a good career to contribute) and probably not for at least anotehr 2 years maybe. And I get panic attacks too, for 2 years now, but it's PTSD from an allergic reaction to a sting from my dad's bees. He had to get rid of them which are his passion so I deal with the guilt of that too. I know panic attacks combined with this head trauma is an EXHAUSTING combination and I just want to give you big *HUGS* because I so understand the feeling that your whole life has been undermined. I'm in counseling now for the panic and emotional trauma of this long healing process and I've uncovered a lot of other things I should have dealt with years ago too. So I'd try that. One thing I've learned from the better doctors I've been around is that no one who experiences panic attacks should have to deal with them without counsel. Don't do what I did and wait. Also I don't know if I'll ever work in a nursing home now but I think I could handle homemaker or home health aide so I'm trying to look into that, to stay focused on what I think I CAN do.

[Mist8012]

Thank you for sharing your story. My mom has been emailing me all day worrying. Nice switch. Anyway I don't think I'll be able to return to my old job.

I don't know where you live but I lasted 2 weeks working home care before the concussion. Clients don't understand that you aren't a Molly Maid seervice and I had to fight with eaach client daily. Annoying.

They would have the vacuum ready for me and want me to scrub floors by hand and laundry piled up so big and you only got a half hour.

I just got back from Massage therapy and stopped in for a coffee. I tried to pay with exact change (HARD) and I couldn't grip the coins out of shaky hands so bad It was like I had Parkinson's or something. I know I shoudn't drink coffee but I only have one a day and if I didn't the withdrawal headaches would be a lot worse.

Take it easy and a line I say to my kids every day is.....

"Make good choices!"


Kelly

[rosebower]

I'm looking around my post for something I wanted to say, but I'm not quite sure now if it's supposed to be here or if I put it up for someone else. ha. Anyway, I wanted to say that I'm hoping that maybe in the future, even if it takes a few years, I'll be able to pick up where I left off with the nursing. (I've always had a pride thing about having classmates find you working a cashier job in your late twenties but it's better than nothing, until then. It's hard for me to be patient ) But I'm trying to focus on the future. This neuropsychiatrist I see has me concentrating on that now, he says I get too wrapped up in my present difficulty and being bitter about the past. He wants me to be thankful for what I do have right now, find ways, even small ways, of making progress into new things or skills (so I'm having my fiance teach me some Spanish) and have a more forward thinking mindset. SO I think about the future, how ever long it may be, when I feel like I can pick back up where I left off.

[gardnermom]

Shelly,
I know what you mean about the workman's comp drs. i am going through that right now. I am 6 mos post injury from an assault on the job in a lock down mental health facility. Every time i go they literally try to put words in my mouth about feeling better from the moment i step in the door. The CNA does and the DR does it. I think they are trained to do it. No i don't feel better, I'm at a stand still. I live in a fog. I can't find words, i don't make sense most of the time, my balance is off, i over load easily, I'm no longer smarter than a 5th grader, heck I'm lucky if I'm smarter than a pre schooler most days. The list goes on and on. But nope they will just keep saying things like "but over all you're better right?" I'm not going to answer yes to that. The neurologist says i have a long road ahead of me, but the other guy wants to close the case for the employer who happens to be the State of Oregon. lol I'm screwed. ugh!