I worked very closely with someone who used pills to try to take his own life. After the drs saved him, he suffered brain damage and after all that still suffered from a great of depression and anxiety. It has taken years for me to come to terms with that. Actually, I do not think that anyone comes to terms with it.
I tell you this because I hope that you can reach out to anyone you can for help.
“Breathing in I calm my body. Breathing out I smile.”
~ Thich Nhat Hanh